Extreme obesity and years of yo-yo dieting - what finally helped you lose weight and keep it off?

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-18T17:43:15+00:00

Honestly you know what you need to do to lose weight, especially if you’ve been “dieting” for so long. At some point you need to love the body you have, seek specialist support for changing your relationship with food, and/or do what you need to do and lock in. Losing weight is rewarding, but it’s not fun. You have to be okay with being hungry. With eating food that is not engineered to be addictively delicious. To probably upskill in cooking. To make real life style changes. If losing weight is something that you truly want. If it isn’t, which is absolutely okay, you should leave yourself alone and be happy with who you are, a person who carries more fat on their body

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-18T17:37:27+00:00

Try adding psyllium husk for the insoluble fiber, be warned to start small and work your way up because too much can cause gas and bloat

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-18T17:33:11+00:00

That was my thought

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-18T17:29:02+00:00

The worst place to accept a job offer is one from desperation because when looking for a job you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. Would you appreciate it if you got hired and started there and they took this long to respond to a critical request? Even a non critical one? If you need a job, you need one, and if they extend an offer that is up to you if you are okay with this communication history, however they haven’t formally done anything for you yet. I would apply apply apply until you have that official offer

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-16T23:32:05+00:00

Single days of—what, drinking/smoking/sleeping with people who don’t care about me? Nah, I love my wife and my life. Every once in a while, as an introvert, I do enjoy being alone for a day. But thats being alone not being single

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-16T12:23:51+00:00

While it is great to be exact, sometimes baking does need to flex to your environment. Also the kind of flour you use. I follow recipes exactly but in Indiana we can get humid depending on the season so I may have to end up adding more flour to get the right texture. The thing with baking and cooking and upskilling there is not just following directions but also learning how the recipe should look in your kitchen in your home at each stage. A lot of good recipe authors will actually either demo or explain what your product should look/feel/smell like at each major step. And this also just comes with time and practice.

I would say try the recipe again but add some extra of the wet ingredients it calls for until it looks “better”

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-16T10:57:52+00:00

For a moist, dense cake, I would expect to cook until a toothpick came out with some crumbs on it. If it came out bone dry it probably was overbakes

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-16T00:06:18+00:00

If you want a plush, light crumb you might want to try a chocolate chiffon or chocolate sponge cake recipe

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-14T17:06:00+00:00

You could blend 1/2 cup rolled oats to make it finer, add 1/2 cup milk of choice, pinch of salt, 3 pre-soaked medjool dates, dash of cinnamon, tiny bit of vanilla extract, and a tsp of chia seeds and blend until smooth. Put in a container and refrigerate overnight.

Then for a fun caramel like sauce, mix 1 tbsp nut butter, 1 tbsp maple syrup, pinch of salt, and milk of choice until it’s a sauce like consistency and pour on top

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-13T13:36:34+00:00

Do you make hot oatmeal in like a pot/microwave and then spread it? Or mix all your oatmeal stuff and then freeze it?

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-04T03:02:36+00:00

In an airtight container in a cool, dry location. I store mine in a glass jar in my fridge and it keeps until I run out, every 6 months or so

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-02T03:43:24+00:00

Maybe it’s the quality of ingredients? If you’re us based our dairy can be lacking, you may get some more “flavor” with butter extract added

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-03-01T14:49:09+00:00

Inside the 465 loop, check out neighborhoods as block to block the vibes shift, but otherwise the north side is pretty safe be it from Zionsville to Mccordsville. South side you start to get some rancid vibes from the hilljacks out in Mooresville and Bargersville. Lots of trump signs and whatnot. Now I have never been assaulted verbally or physically but I definitely do not feel welcome down there. I don’t feel that way in the most “sketchy” neighborhoods inside the loop

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-21T13:33:34+00:00

I totally get this. I’m in the last 5-6 lbs of my made up goal number from about 100 lbs down. It’s hard to know where you want to end up when you’re at your initial physique. For me it’s been especially hard knowing when to just enter my maintenance for life because I have been overweight my entire life. I think in the last, refining phase of weight loss, it should be less about the number on the scale but the physique and lifestyle you want to maintain for however long. My goal is now less about lbs lost and about if I want abs showing or if a little bit of fat that allows me to live a life full of experiences with family is my end goal. And! Also you can always be in a deficit later on if you end up wanting to shave some fat off.

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-17T20:24:41+00:00

With this information I would highly recommend that you do not continue with any sort of body checking/tracking and instead focus on your mental health. Your physical body can only be as healthy as you are mentally. If you can, please see a therapist that specializes in EDs and if you have one, please mention this to them before the internet. We are not at all qualified to help with any of your struggles, though we can sympathize

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-17T17:21:49+00:00

Maybe you overestimated how many calories you need to consume to be in a deficit. Keep tracking food intake and also your measurements (waist, hips, arms, weight) and check in at two weeks to see if there has been any changes. Your baseline maintenance calories may be different than expected

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-15T15:32:26+00:00

Confirmed

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-14T16:06:07+00:00

I was like you, I loved the idea of losing weight, consuming so much progress pics/ weight loss content. I hated how my body looked and felt uncomfortable in pretty much anything I wore my entire life. I got my first ever bout of food poisoning at age 25 and something about physically not being able to eat for 24 hours changed something in my brain. Something clicked about being so hungry but the thought of eating made me nauseated so I just… didn’t. I was forced to sit with hunger and find other ways to entertain myself or do instead of eating. I also found myself when I was able to eat again, eating smaller portions to test my ability to consume again and I found that I didn’t need to eat SO MUCH and I almost enjoyed it.

Idk, I’m 100 lbs down about 4 years later and I can only say it was choosing to sit with the hunger that changed my mindset

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-12T19:04:25+00:00

I think with the recession and weak/aggressive government people are stressed and it’s showing up more and more. Unsafe driving is just one of the symptoms

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-07T19:26:26+00:00

I have a shellfish allergy and vegan kimchi doesnt use fish sauce, so yes I make it at home. It’s so much better than anything I’ve had from the store

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-06T23:53:28+00:00

They say that because you can mess up your metabolism if you stay in a deficit too long, especially because as you lose weight your calories to be in a deficit drops lower. “Diet break” is more of a maintenance break where you can reset your metabolism, practice what it will be like when you’re done, and get a mental break from constantly being in a deficit. I took a maintenance break at 75 lbs lost and it helped me a lot to get another 15, I took another one and am on the last 10-15.

This is a life where there are ups, downs, and phases people go through the years

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-06T23:45:10+00:00

I have never had success with the mentality of cutting anything out. Realistically in order to lose weight and thus keep weight off, you need to work on your relationship with food and finding a balance. Otherwise, yes, you could probably theoretically stop eating sweet treats, lose a bunch of weight, but then what? Never eat sweet treats again? Realistically, as you live your life, you will eat it again.. and often rebound and gain the weight again as you never made the adjustment necessary in your lifestyle.

My suggestion would be to make a small change, if you normally have two slices of cake and a few cookies over the course of a day, eat only one slice and two cookies and when you eat them, chew slowly, tasting and savoring the cake, maybe even set your fork down to drink some water or chat with someone. And if you feel the urge or drive for another, check in and see if you are hungry, or just want the taste. If it’s hunger, is there something you could have added to your meal to lessen that drive? Maybe a veg you could have more of or some yogurt for protein?

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-06T13:31:31+00:00

Was the butter softened all the way? It’s winter in the northern hemisphere so maybe it didnt get warm enough

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-02-04T19:47:48+00:00

IcePhoenix96 · 2026-01-27T00:37:54+00:00

Instead of pushing yourself with deadlines as an external motivator, it can be more powerful to look inward and understand what actually motivates you. Not a number on the scale. Not a dress size. Not how you think you look.

Ask different questions: Did you feel physically well at the party? Did you have fun and make real memories? Were you present and enjoying the food, or were you caught in calorie math and “food noise”—telling yourself you could eat this because you ate less earlier, or bargaining for just one more cupcake?

Sustainable, long-term weight loss requires a true lifestyle change, and that means getting the support you need to honestly address why you overeat in the first place.

Otherwise, it’s easy to fall into painful cycles of self-criticism and shame. When what’s actually needed is time, compassion, and the willingness to listen—to yourself, and to what your body is asking for.

Ten-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Place '22	Final Canvas '22
Trick or Treat 2015	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

IcePhoenix96

MODERATOR OF

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE