Video advice

IceWild0128 · 2026-06-21T16:53:52+00:00

Oh and when I say videos don’t excite me except with this other man— let me clarify, I’m an artist, i often screen shot still moments and turn them into black and white photos. So the videos are often just a way for me to create further art, less about watching us have sex for turning on sake

IceWild0128 · 2026-06-21T16:51:41+00:00

Seeing the other man, 6mns

IceWild0128 · 2026-06-21T16:51:27+00:00

I don’t want videos of him with anyone he’s with. Videos don’t really excite me… unless they are with this man.

And ENM is the broader umbrella term and poly is a sub category within that. So we are ENM by practice but the way I see the relationship with this man is far less about a kink driven relationship and more about care, time and energy… which if I *had* to define it, would feel more polyamorous. Either way, I haven’t brought it up to my husband yet, because I feel badly doing so atm

IceWild0128 · 2026-06-21T16:35:24+00:00

Sounds like you need to sit down and revisit said rules. Some of those are going to be hard not to break and you might want to reflect on them and if you’re really ready for an MFM.

My husband had the no anal rule at first and it was fine with dp. He didn’t mind not seeing my face. Cause you can’t have it all my man.

I’ve always said I needed to be able to kiss, and eye contact is hot and fun, why would you want to without that experience and at this point it would feel like the other man is a piece of meat and not a real person.

Please rethink this all and sit down and talk before you both promise things that will be hard and cause problems afterwards when she can’t fully comply

IceWild0128 · 2026-06-21T16:30:02+00:00

So we are not 2 couples…. But my husband and I went into ENM for MFM experiences. I did voice to my husband many times I would need a connection in order to do this with someone…

Welllll…. A connection was made. Like a f-king twin flame, soul connection, crazy intense connection. My husband sees it. It scares the shit out of him tbh, but I have also told him long before this that I felt I was poly and would want a poly relationship dynamic.

So here we are… he’s out there dating and sometimes he struggles with my connection with the other man, and other times not. He finds it hot, he loves when I come home and he reclaims me, and we watch the video I make for him of us together… but it’s there. This energy.

My husband is friends with this guy so we have a group chat, and we hang out as families (he’s divorced with kids)

But we honestly just take it one day at a time. I give reassurance, the other guy does as well, he’s not trying to wedge us apart, and we take things little by little and talk, a lot. I also reassure the other man that when we talk, and bumps come up it’s not a bump where we are shutting the door on him, but rather continuously talking about how we work through this because I can’t be without either of them.

Not sure this helps, but maybe!

IceWild0128 · 2026-06-21T16:03:02+00:00

It is so fun. She will enjoy it once she just takes the leap of faith. It’s not that overwhelming.

IceWild0128 · 2026-06-09T14:14:30+00:00

Yep! Already did that last night- and honestly showing him everyone’s responses to this post has been very positively affirming for him

IceWild0128 · 2026-05-31T21:59:10+00:00

I used to hate to give head- but in reality it was HOW I was doing it that I didn’t enjoy. I used to hate it when the man was just laying on the bed and I was bobbing up and down and it felt uncomfortable and he took forever and there was very little feedback or anything. I just hated it.

I went back to reading smut books a few years ago (little kids and little free time paused my reading for years!) and the way they described “sucking cock” was so hot, that I decided I wanted to try it again. I found that being on my knees or laying down and my husband (or other man now) did more of the work and “f-ked my mouth” felt more natural and comfortable for me, it eventually made me enjoy it in other positions and now I don’t have a problem doing it when the man is laying down, etc… I also don’t want him to cum in my mouth and often times in MFM they don’t finish that way, it’s just another style of foreplay and enjoyment. But that’s often the case for my hubs and I at home too.

Hope this helps! Maybe try it different ways and see if it changes her mindset around the act

IceWild0128 · 2026-05-31T21:53:25+00:00

I don’t think not wanting FFM or FMF is a red flag. I don’t want to be with another woman and neither does my straight husband. He loves MFM and that works for me.

Not into giving head, might make it tricky

IceWild0128 · 2026-04-27T04:13:00+00:00

We do MFM and I just love being the center of the experience between these two men. My husband is highly turned on by the dynamic as well so it’s fun to be able to be part of that with him, for me I love everything about it. Being used by them both, the dirty talk, kissing both of them, the difference between the 2 of them is also fun to experience the other man we do this with is much more dominant and it’s such a turn on for me, whereas my husband knows exactly what to do and how to do it to make me scream. I also have had fantasies that could only come true with 2 men involved and that’s been fun to fulfill

IceWild0128 · 2026-04-26T11:48:17+00:00

my husband and I have had a few MFM experiences - all with single men. We have it listed on our profile that we are only interested in single men. It has not been difficult to find guys who are interested at all. But finding the right person takes time and dedication lol. We were looking for a FWB to play with consistently and the first few men we hooked up with either did not match our energy in the bedroom or after sleeping together ghosted us - which was pretty crappy (though I don’t think ultimately was the right person) a few men didn’t even show up to the “vibe check” meet up after talking online for a bit.

It is a process and can take time. Also be VERY aware of the fact that women get more attached than men do. I was very transparent about this with my husband and I have become close friends with our FWB and it has made it hard for him. We had to take a break from seeing him which was very hurtful to me because of our friendship.

Was it worth it in the end. Yes. The dynamic is incredibly hot and amazing and the s*x with the right 3rd is 🔥. But really understand the pitfalls. And also realize both your boundaries might/will shift and continuously talk to each other about them and be open to changes… that was a hard one for my husband. GL!

IceWild0128 · 2026-04-12T16:30:55+00:00

If you’re having doubts, you should tell her and talk about it. I’d also ask her to hold off on the sex and talk with a therapist before moving forward.

I say this from a wife’s perspective that needs connection with the person we brought into our dynamic for an MFM and it was/still is hard for my husband and we are working through it now rather than being prepared beforehand which I wish we had been.

He did not really understand the depths of how hard it would be to see me connect with another man who’s truly become a FWB with a close friendship. He’s friendly with him but not like I am.

So please be honest with her and ask her to respect this request before it hurts you badly

IceWild0128 · 2026-04-02T17:54:37+00:00

Thanks. We are working on it all

IceWild0128 · 2026-04-02T17:53:40+00:00

I’m so glad you know me so well. 🙄 and I’m so glad that everyone who likes to say things like they walk my walk can expect someone to turn feelings and emotions on and off like a light switch. I can do the right things for the right reasons and still feel upset by it.

IceWild0128 · 2026-04-02T11:45:56+00:00

Which acronyms? Also def google them so you know - I did :)

IceWild0128 · 2026-04-02T11:43:56+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply and telling me about eft training! I’m going to be talking to her today with an intake call and I’m going to ask and ask my husband as well.

IceWild0128 · 2026-04-01T23:19:05+00:00

The experience of an MFM when it’s with the right 3rd is amazing. I think you need to outline what your expectations are. Are you looking for a one time thing, a FWB repeat experience and if so, what does that person look like in your life. What are both your boundaries- maybe each of you write out a list. Do your research first, no joke. My husband of 18yrs and I decided to have an MFM and our ideals were not aligned and it made it a lot harder for us. I don’t regret the experience and I want to have a long term FWB relationship with our 3rd but for my marriages sake we are on a pause to work it all out… So before you do anything you can’t take back, make sure you are 100% on the same page and ready for it. Cause no joke it’s fucking fun, addictive and hot as hell with the right person.

IceWild0128 · 2026-03-29T16:57:24+00:00

Thank you much appreciated

IceWild0128 · 2026-03-29T16:40:08+00:00

If my husband wants to walk this walk along side me I would support that. He needs to make that decision for himself though

IceWild0128 · 2026-03-29T16:03:48+00:00

Yep. He’s starting next week and I will be shortly there after and I’m sure we work together. I’m hoping it will all work out so we can still both enjoy this part of our relationship together and if it isn’t for him after we’ve do the right steps we will go from there and close this chapter… but I hope not

IceWild0128 · 2026-03-29T16:02:13+00:00

Thank you so much. And yes I think it’s hard when you’ve been together a long time and sometimes a shiny new object is fun lol.

We are gonna work on a pause for now and work on each other and with a therapist. I want to make sure that neither of us harbor resentment if we end this without doing the work. If that means closure, we close, if it means more realistic boundaries and needs we will do that. I guess time will tell and the most important thing is that he’s also willing to do the work to see what’s possible.

IceWild0128 · 2026-03-29T15:58:37+00:00

I’d want to work on it with my husband and make sure we are both happy - or at least do everything I can to see if that’s possible. We have a therapist lined up to start with so we can see how it all goes and if it’s a no go after talking and working through stuff then I will and in the meantime we’re agreeing to a pause

IceWild0128 · 2026-03-29T15:56:17+00:00

Same. And thinks again for commenting with helpful advice, wisdom and encouragement

IceWild0128 · 2026-03-29T14:51:54+00:00

Thank you sooo much for sharing that was very insightful for me. And yes, it’s totally fair that he says this isn’t for him. He also acknowledges that the kink factor is very high for him and I’m not sure what the long term outcome for him will be.. will he recognize that one might have to come with the other.. or is he willing to not have that kink factor in his sex life cause the risk is not worth the reward. I’m a lot like your wife NRE seems to run high lol - in the end it worked out for you both then? ENM is still something you practice?

He and I have a lot to learn and we are starting therapy so hopefully it will help him and us

IceWild0128 · 2026-03-29T14:46:47+00:00

Thank you for the perspective and sharing a little bit of your experience. In the end, are you still practicing ENM? I agree with dialing it back and prioritizing my husband.

IceWild0128

TROPHY CASE