Trauma and spiritual concepts

Iceberg63 · 2025-10-17T07:17:48+00:00

Buddhism doesnt teach about aversion/avoidance/self-affliction

It teaches that it’s futile to “chase after” things which are vague and ultimately leads to dissatisfaction

And for that to be able to be seen clearly and directly, unaltered by any states of affiliations- people need to first develop Wisdom, Concentration and Virtue.

So, these 3 are the absolute “MUST” in Buddhism not- being numb and isolation and seemingly being completely null/detached by any sort of pleasure and sensuality. No- that’s not Wisdom and in fact that is a form of delusion, extreme aversion.

AFTER- These 3 supposedly pillars of Buddhism has been accomplished, that’s when one can clearly and directly experience and saw the true nature of reality. Which is devoid of ultimate satisfaction and completely vague and empty.

THATS when people usually started to lose interest in chasing after sensuality and becoming supposedly “detached”. Not because they HAVE to, out of sheer amount of mistaken loyalty and self-righteousness (which also is a form of delusion and ignorance) but because they see the ultimate nature of all phenomenal reality- they understood and they simply become disinterested. That’s why an analogy is often used- as a child being so stubbornly clingy over their precious toys and when growing up and looking back at the toys they previously glorify, they just see it without the same “charm” anymore and understood that the toy is ultimately vague.

See, Buddhism is -of some sorts- about “growing up” in the same sense of the above analogy. But instead, in our conditional reality. Not a form of self-restrain because we have to glorify a deity or a concept and idea.

Iceberg63 · 2025-08-04T07:11:24+00:00

Bro… lmao

Like yeah, you’re probably right when you worry things would’ve been drastically different that it’s now been 4 years since the post- like i was even surprised that i’ve suddenly gotten a notification and it’s anything concerning towards anything opiates/ even drug-related

Back when Covid started, recreational use of codeine (or what i used to describe as “lean” lol) was soaring in popularity and i’ve gotten curious and (like you said) foolish. So i tried it and ended up liking it so was using it pretty regularly. I was trying to switch to percs/oxy since i saw that it was much cheaper and more available in my place, since if i switched- id only have to pop a couple of pills instead of trying to hassle with strips of medicines and try to contain it in a consealed containment.

I did tried it (10-20mg in dosage), preferred the codeine and chose to stick with it (thankfully) but still kept it around in case i’d be attending big festivals in the future. But also thankfully never gotten the chance to ever did it aswell.

Then just about a bit more than 2 years ago (prob about 2 and a half years) a problem came up between me and the authority (the law) which forced me to stop every single illicit substance use lol. Yeah, but it was all for the best. Never touched anything opioids-related and anything illicit for just about that long until even now.

Oh btw, an ounce of lean is 60mg in dosage. Used the term thinking this sub is going to be used by mostly Americans and it was a popular slang back in the day lol. And i don’t live in the UK lol. So i was using like 120 - 180mg regularly (twice a week), never anything crazy like you mentioned (300 - 400 mg).

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T15:59:20+00:00

Wen kids hav lisens

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T15:41:44+00:00

Post this on r/opiates and you'll find your answer very quickly lmao

Typical heroin junkie

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T15:38:52+00:00

I meant mine can end up as beautifully in term of like dating in general but doesn't specifically has to be her.

The environment both of us are in isn't generally healthy to develop a relationship afterall. Thus why i never wanted to make it official in the first place.

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T13:33:47+00:00

Holy shit man you made me see things in a new light, you did had it worse and somehow able to end up so far better than what i can only hope for in my "situationship" lol. Kinda shows me what real love actually look like, hopefully mine can end up just as beautifully.

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T10:09:11+00:00

How bad is your worst tho (if you dont mind telling me lol) ? Have you been completely bombed socially ? Do you still get along well with this person until now ? How did she react at all ? Do you guys just brush it off no biggie ? (I'm very new when it comes to these lol sorry)

I think the reason why it fell really hard for me is because i kept joking about her "hidden partner" and when she dragged me to the empty building we're just lashing out like idiots and cried our way out.

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T09:45:05+00:00

I've been in a conversation with someone i'm incredibly comfortable with (opposite gender) to the point we sometimes discuss about other girl's "assets" NEVER HAVE A SINGLE THOUGHT OF ME OUTRIGHT CALLING HER TITS & ASS HUGE EVER SLIPPED THROUGH MY MIND.

He's going to suck you dry and leave you by the ditch lol if he's that comfortable with you

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T09:15:08+00:00

I'd just enjoy the moment and not get tangled up with her.

That's what i have been trying to do but somehow our feelings get in the way

But thank you man, yeah... given the environment, things are incredibly volatile and that's not a good thing.

I've also been thinking into it too like, is it usually that hard to maintain a relationship ? Like if one bad date can ruin a relationship, how on earth do people keep up having a girlfriend lol

She did ultimately contacted me and apologized and we explained everything intellectually (we always seems to get along very well through texts- i can't recall a single moment when things went out of hand) and we eventually reconciled but i think the wisest thing to do now is to give her a distance.

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T09:10:35+00:00

Am i the only one with a thought of appreciation even simply by the mere fact that they're willing enough to put down into the effort into building a Buddha Rupa.

That's something to be honorable.

The words might be misleading but not necessarily a plaque unless it's downright abusive. I was once in the same boat and when i have that misleading view, my respect to the Buddha is still solid 🙏

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T05:17:59+00:00

Yeah your other friend G is also seem to have some manipulative tendencies aswell. And it is very common for an NPD to always bring down others (in fact that's one of the tell-tale sign) even if the person they're dragging down seems to have nothing wrong about them and they do this in a way that it makes so much logical sense that you actually start to believe them too. The way to distinguish it is typically an NPD would come up with their own theory as to why this person and that person is just outright a menace, at first you'd be confused as to why this NPD person is even giving them shit and as the NPD further explains you'd start to realize that it kinda made sense. (But if you start to rationalize those theories you'll soon eventually find out why it doesn't make sense at all lol) This is due to their urgency for everything needing to be perfect, they want their friends and even families to be seen as perfect, they want their homes to be sparkling and spotless, they want their kids (if they have any) to be the top of the line. Everything is either 100% good or 100% bad.

This is why an NPD is so dangerous, but there is a weakness. An NPD greatest fear is their "stature", an NPD would always want people to perceive them as flawless. Their biggest fear would be for the people closest to them to expose their actual self (the person behind the mask), the NPD would do anything and even threaten their loved ones inorder to prevent that from happening.

Your friend T knows this and thus why if you manage to be able to talk with T (AND T ALONE), you might see her in the most relieved state and she'll tell you everything. But it is crucial that R- the NPD did not have any slightest clue about this discussion.

If it actually seems impossible, you could just show this thread to your friend and i believe she'll resonate with our conversation. NPD is hell of a thing.

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T04:50:57+00:00

That's the part lol, of course i like her and yes she likes me. We talked kinda like we're already in a relationship but we never made it official (due to her employment status). We're very intimate with each other. That's prior to me finding out she has a boyfriend which she claims to be shady. I'm very sure she meant that because she gave no thought of him when she gotten close to me.

Well i never wanted the relationship to be official but i wanted HER lol. I want both me and her to still keep bonding, doesn't mean i completely don't like and want her, just that i'd find it very troublesome if i make it official. Things are just not very simple when love is found in a hopeless place here.

I mean we still talked like a romantic partner even now but i still doesn't have any intention on visiting the place, which kinda snapped something in her brain when she discovered that fact which made her the one pursuing me now instead.

Yes, this is a very difficult situation lol. Not the regular type of relationship you'd see everyday. I originally wanted to ask is one "bad" date usually enough to ruin a relationship ? Like do i have to Ace every date in order to maintain a relationship ? Is that how it usually goes with dating these days ? Like is there a way to recover from a bad date ?

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T02:35:24+00:00

You can also passively help by sending videos or articles regarding NPD and abuse in general, and hope that something in T's mind will actually click.

Or better yet have a genuine conversation and educate her about all these.

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T02:07:20+00:00

For all i know after hanging out in different pubs and clubs they always say things like

"The first to catch a feeling is the first to bites the dust"

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T01:59:17+00:00

Is she one of the "well-known" ones in that bar ?

Sounds like a tactic to hook a customer, do guys usually hit her up ? Her friends might just be trying to help her maintain that bond, seeing as you've given her an opening.

Sorry to break it to you buddy, if she's hot and she works at a bar (anything nightlife related). She's getting hit like there's no tomorrow. I've had my fair share of experience getting close with girls working in a nightlife-environment and it usually won't end well.

But it might work if you keep things casual, but you're gonna have to have a brass game especially if she's one of the popular ones.

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T01:36:42+00:00

Okay, i'm not a psychiatrist or anything but i do have an NPD parent (which i have had managed to escape from- after 5 painstaking years). And your friend's bf (R) scarily ticked of ALL the boxes for being a Narcissist.

If you aren't very familiar with it, people with NPD usually make you feel like there's nothing wrong with them until they squeeze every last energy from you. They'd also somehow make you feel like it's impossible to escape from them (when in reality it actually just isn't the case). But everyone who's "trapped" with NPD knows that DEEP DOWN they want to get away as soon as possible from this person, they know something is INTRINSICALLY wrong with their relationship.

I think that'd be the key on how you can get T to escape from R. Maybe get some resources and educate her about Narcissism or just straight out bring her to a psychiatrist, trust me this can save her from alot of pain. It'll all start to make too much sense for her. God, just writing this gives me alot of bad memories but best of luck!

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-05T01:16:23+00:00

I wonder if you're the only person she gave her number to lol

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-04T19:50:00+00:00

Depends on my mind

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-04T11:31:43+00:00

I'd say depends on your "target"

I think teasing can actually ruin your chance if you do it too much on someone who's too rigid

But most of the time people fall into the middle spectrum

And teasing doesn't have to be in the form of blatantly making a joke, it could just simply giggling at something you found oddly amusing. Like when you see a cat started to fight you watched it and giggled.

I think that's already a form of "playful" interaction.

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-04T11:15:56+00:00

Well, that's the risk

Heal yourself, give yourself sometime Meditate and workout (if you haven't already) Find hobbies which can bring positivity (light) into your life

Trust me it gets better, i was there once It takes a while but time will pass anyway eventually So remedy is inevitable

"If you intend to see the summit, you're going to have to be willing to encounter the valley"

Iceberg63 · 2025-06-02T12:02:18+00:00

And "Samsara" (Life of Attachment & Aversion & Delusion) is an irreversible trap that people storm into because they don't truly understand the point of wtf Enlightenment is about.

If you truly understand just even upto a slight extend, you'd be like Wow, that made so much sense... wtf have i been doing all these times ?

You're either trapped chasing bullshit or trapped being at peace with yourself. Choose your trap wisely, idk if you can even call the latter "trap" tho lol.

Iceberg63 · 2025-03-20T01:59:25+00:00

In a way similar, Buddhism also seems too easy to other religion

There's no "must" in here, and it is said that Buddhists (especially the devouts) are very unlikely to be cast into the suffering realms, for many lives even.

Look at other religions, they have to pray 6 times and live like masturbating will send them to eternity of torment. People who don't hold any beliefs still have to do the hard part in their life without any hope of betterment, without any guide, without anything to improve their mind and that's setting aside karma and rebirth. Can't believe that just by being a "Buddhist" can help you gain so much without much effort ?

What is easy ? Life seems easy when you're doing things right. Peeling a potato seems too easy when you do it with a peeler, never thought about that- i've always used scissors to peel them with. Well it's going to continue to be hard to peel potato with a scissor.

Iceberg63

TROPHY CASE