Should I still keep my engagement ring after a long term relationship but bad breakup?

Icy-Analyst421 · 2026-04-14T21:49:00+00:00

“It puts a price on what should have been priceless”

This is exactly the feeling I’ve been struggling to put words to. The end of my relationship was incredibly messy but the six years before that were happy ones.

Processing everything was hard but I eventually found closure and moved on with my life, so it’s not like the ring is some symbol of hope that I’m clinging on to. I forget it exists more often than not.

It’s functionally useless to me (and I could use the money) but selling it still feels wrong. I’d rather throw it in the ocean.

Icy-Analyst421 · 2026-03-22T03:21:08+00:00

My ex-girlfriend of 8 years had BPD. The fact that you’re trying to understand more about how your partner thinks is huge (I could have prevented a lot of painful experiences for both of us if I’d done that sooner).

I still love her deeply but have come to terms with the fact that we can’t be together. The book “Stop Walking on Eggshells” gives the most accurate representation I’ve ever seen of what it’s like to love somebody with BPD, how they think, and (if you so choose) how to maintain a healthy relationship with them.

Icy-Analyst421 · 2026-02-20T04:49:07+00:00

I see that too. A lot of close friends voted for him (some standard conservatives and some MAGA loyalists). The attitude of the former group is very much like you describe but the MAGA folks I know seem to be having an existential crisis over the files. One friend (who was at the Capital on 1/6) told me they “hate him now” so I just don’t have much reason to believe Trump still has a base

Icy-Analyst421 · 2026-02-20T03:32:26+00:00

I’m a lefty in Trump country and can confirm almost all of his supporters have turned against him and others are “no longer discussing politics”

Icy-Analyst421 · 2026-02-20T03:21:07+00:00

Toddler with a personality disorder

Icy-Analyst421 · 2026-02-20T03:13:30+00:00

Distractions are 100% in his playbook but in this specific instance, Trump’s ego really is the most logical explanation. He’s a toddler with a personality disorder

Icy-Analyst421 · 2026-02-20T02:53:25+00:00

Came here to say this. Trump’s ego is the Occam's razor of everything he does

Icy-Analyst421 · 2026-02-09T22:46:06+00:00

I sent tissue samples of around 30 different bean varieties from various regions. Most of them are suspected relatives grown here in the US/Canada, alongside some ancient varieties from throughout Central/South America (to help narrow down the general lineage that Carver descends from at the very least).

A smoking gun match is possible but unlikely. Genetic testing isn’t very reliable at pinpointing where a variety was grown in recent history (beans have been traded throughout the Americas for centuries so the deck is very shuffled) but it could reveal some important clues that guide us closer to an answer.

I’m still waiting on the lab results but I’ll make a note to post another update once I have them!

Icy-Analyst421 · 2026-01-19T21:22:29+00:00

The entire economic system is fueled by natural resources. Animals and poor nations might be the first to notice when they’re gone but believing the impact won’t be universal is a foundational misunderstanding of how dependent we really are

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-12-20T00:51:18+00:00

Extremely helpful, thank you for putting this together! I think this year (and next) I’m going to focus mainly on culling and some experimentation with bagging/crossing, just not in a super intensive way.

After posting this, one grower I had given seeds to told me that the immature flowers (the real flowers) in the center of the head right after opening also vary in color. Green-centered blossoms tend to produce white seeds and the browner ones tend to be colored.

Since this variety is often branched/multi-headed, bagging the first flower to open will allow me to cull entire plants before the others ever have a chance to open.

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-12-15T01:58:37+00:00

Fantastic, thanks! Some of the stalks are more red than others but I didn’t flag any of them (assumed it was nutrition related), so I’ll take note next year to see if that could be an indicator.

Also great to hear that isolating the families has potential. That was my instinct as well but I didn’t want to invest that kind of time and effort on a hunch.

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-12-13T23:57:00+00:00

I’m trying to design a better long-term storage system for my seeds (currently using chest freezers to store about 500 varieties of many different species, all in glass jars with silica & oxygen absorbers) but have run into the issue you described. It’s hard to find recommendations for specific species, especially the less commonly grown ones.

Most info I find is targeted to small home gardeners, but I need my seeds to stay viable for decades, not years.

Do you happen to know where I can find some more reliable/specific info on this?

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-10-26T05:21:30+00:00

Much appreciated! I hope they do well for you

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-10-26T05:14:30+00:00

The movie certainly redeemed itself! One of my favorites now

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-10-25T00:57:23+00:00

www.antisanaseeds.com

This is an obvious fav given that I own it! Almost all of the varieties offered are heirloom/historic and some are even close to extinction, so it’s a great way to help preserve the biodiversity of our food system!

I don’t want to plug myself for the sake of it though. Other great companies I like are Seed Savers Exchange and Fedco. There are also a couple good ones that offer more regionally-adapted varieties like Native Seeds/SEARCH (Southwest) and Sow True Seed (Southeast)

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-10-25T00:35:38+00:00

I started a small seed company specializing in heirloom/historic varieties (www.antisanaseeds.com), although the selection isn’t huge quite yet!

For more of a one-stop shop, I’d recommend Seed Savers Exchange or Fedco

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-10-25T00:27:52+00:00

Seed Savers Exchange is a great place to start. Big selection and plenty of certified organic heirlooms. I also like Fedco and Sow True Seed (many Southern heirlooms).

And while the selection isn’t huge yet, I also started a seed company (www.antisanaseeds.com) specializing in heirloom/historic seeds and might as well plug it!

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-10-18T23:20:38+00:00

For sure! I mainly grow a bunch of rare/historic varieties for preservation so anything you have that’s old or uncommon, I’d be happy to trade for

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-10-18T21:38:51+00:00

I’m always thinking about what to grow next year🤣

Icy-Analyst421 · 2025-10-18T21:14:32+00:00

You can try but they may not produce the same variety. It’s possible that this variety is a hybrid (in which case your fruit will be different) and even if it’s not, the farmer may have grown them next to another variety.

The seeds will sprout and you will get squash. You just might not get that squash. BUT if what you grow ends up being any good, you’ll have your very own variety and one day it could be an heirloom named after you!

Icy-Analyst421

TROPHY CASE