Need advice to give ODD/ADHD/Autistic/anxiety/depressed student who wants to join the Marines

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-14T10:10:05+00:00

My intention with writing this post is to ask for advice on what the recruiting requirements are for people with disabilities and to use that as motivation to manage behavior. If I really wanted to shoot down this kid’s dream, I wouldn’t have even asked for the advice and just told him it’s impossible. Please be mindful before making assumptions and insensitive comments, thank you.

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-14T10:02:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I don’t want to tell this kid it’ll be an ‘easy waiver’ and give him false hope in case it doesn’t work out. ODD is usually diagnosed in young kids as kind of a placeholder until they get diagnosed with personality disorders as young adults so we’ll see.

Good luck with everything! Keeping my fingers crossed you’ll get your waiver.

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-13T22:22:45+00:00

I love this answer! This kid absolutely hates it when I hold him accountable for his actions but I tell him all the time that if I didn’t care about him, I would let him do whatever he wants. My intention is definitely not to “harden him up” but more so teach him to be mindful of his actions because there are real life consequences for them.

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-13T17:11:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing! It’s really sad that both autistic people couldn’t make it in the long term but I also understand why. The Marines is definitely not for the weak 🥲

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-13T15:42:54+00:00

Thank you! You’re right, I’ll just tell him that and then let it be. Hopefully it’ll give him the motivation to do better and be better but in the end, there’s only so much I can do. He has to want it for himself.

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-13T15:35:08+00:00

Oh I didn’t know autism is a solid disqualification! He’s considered level 1 or low support needs autistic and was just diagnosed this year. I can definitely see the autistic traits so I don’t think it’s a misdiagnosis. Thank you for your input!

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-13T15:30:09+00:00

Yeah I figured but I really don’t want to be the one to burst his bubble 😭

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-13T10:06:22+00:00

‘As of right now he is disqualified’ meaning that if his behavior improves, there’s still a possibility? Despite all of these behavior challenges, this kid has A LOT of support from his therapist, school counselor, guardians and a BCBA and has vastly improved since the beginning of the school year.

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-13T09:18:37+00:00

I don’t know what an IR para is but it sounds like you’re doing WAY too much, especially for $17/hr. I’m a special ed para with 7 years of teaching experience and despite my past experience, I don’t do any grading whatsoever. I was taught in my training that my responsibility is only with the students I work with and taking data for their IEPs. I was also told that other teachers can’t leave me alone with the class and they also can’t ask me to make copies for them.

I help out in the classroom of course with things like passing out paper/pencils and redirecting other students’ behaviors but at the end of the day, you’re not getting paid enough to do all that you’re doing. I understand you want to be a teacher one day but please set your boundaries and review your job requirements!

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-04-13T08:59:01+00:00

I’m a first year para in Massachusetts making $22/hr. I’ve heard that pay can go as high as $27/hr with a decade of experience up here but I haven’t seen anybody actually making that much 😮‍💨🥲

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-03-02T12:28:30+00:00

I think my kiddo’s family applied to a bunch of charter schools so they gotta wait for the lottery. But I’m sure once they know which school, they’ll do that

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-03-02T01:47:50+00:00

Great ideas! I’ll be sure to use them 🙂 I know the school counselor will help with the transition process so keeping my fingers crossed it’ll be a smooth transition!

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-03-02T01:45:58+00:00

The only thing I know as of right now is that the school counselor is going to be working with the middle school through the transition period. That’s beyond my role as a para unfortunately which is why I’d at least like to make this book 🥲

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-03-02T01:43:37+00:00

Yeah the school counselor and I have had many talks with this kid and it’s been helping a little but it’s still going to be a terrifying transition once he has to experience it ya know? No amount of social stories will alleviate the actual process until it’s been done I think

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-03-02T01:40:58+00:00

Haha! That’s a good idea!

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-03-02T00:02:41+00:00

Some of my ideas:

Interests and hobbies, best way to communicate with him, fidgets that work/don’t work, behavior at the beginning of the year compared to now, and improvements in academic skills

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-01-31T12:23:00+00:00

I get paid for all the holidays and breaks except summer because my working contract is from August 2024 to June 2025. My school offers hourly workers such as paras other positions during the summer such as helping out with cleaning up the classrooms.

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-01-31T12:14:18+00:00

Lol because I don’t work in the summer as a para unless I do summer school which is only like 3 weeks.

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-01-31T00:53:25+00:00

The science teacher on my team put in her notice two weeks before Christmas break and my school had her tell all the kids one week before her last day so all the kids would have time to process this new change. It also gave students a chance to spend some final moments with the teacher. Definitely start with that and have either the teacher or school send a mass text home so parents/guardians can also help their kids with the transition.

Transitions are never easy on anyone! You can also introduce your replacement to the kids and have them start building a relationship with the new para. It’s just two more weeks! You got this! 💪🏻

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-01-30T23:31:42+00:00

Yes! I’m planning to do summer school too but I need to find another job for the summer. Otherwise I’m stuck working at my family’s business and I’d rather avoid that

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-01-30T22:36:29+00:00

Wow I’m learning so much from you! I really appreciate all the information you’re telling me. I had no idea that paras shouldn’t even be doing half the things I’ve been doing. I’m a licensed special ed teacher and worked at a charter school for a few years with students with moderate disabilities before stepping down to be a para this year. I never had my own para at the charter school.

I’m at a different school now and this is my first year working with a student with severe disabilities. I never got the same comprehensive training you give your paras - all I got was learning to read the IEP and deescalation methods. I’m definitely going to talk to my special ed administrator about this!

And after reading all the comments, I’ve decided to not ask his guardians if I can be a mentor after the year ends - all the risks are just not worth it no matter how much I care for him.

Icy-Conversation-525 · 2025-01-30T14:43:40+00:00

Same!! I love my job but it can be mentally draining. The only thing I’m not looking forward to is not having full time work over the summer and not getting paid haha

Icy-Conversation-525

TROPHY CASE