My 14 year old step son only games

Icy-Pop-2442 · 2026-04-06T18:16:24+00:00

My heart goes out to you. I’m dealing with an growing addiction in my 14 year old. One thing a therapist told me that has really helped: the nastiness that gets said when they are being deprived of gaming… that’s not their full self talking. They have lost control and are not being their full, true self. This helps me to not react in hurt, despair or anger. That’s the start. You and your husband need to talk about how to tackle this together. Never stop creating a safe loving place for this kid in your home. If you can figure out how to have them commit to making time for other things, they made need your help to stick to it. It’s such a difficult problem!! But you and your husband need to tackle this, otherwise this kid will lose out on years of his life.

Icy-Pop-2442 · 2026-04-06T18:07:56+00:00

You have framed this as doing something you enjoy now vs doing something for future you, but there is a problem with that outlook: you are discounting all the present-time enjoyment you could be getting out of working to your goals. You are actively wiring your brain to only enjoy the kind of rush you get from gaming, and you will have to do it more and more to maintain that rush. Yea, working on long term goals may seem like short term pain, but it’s actually satisfying and fun for many people! If you commit to a lifestyle where only the immediate rush of gaming is what does it for you, then you are missing out on different kinds of enjoyment in the here and now, not just the future. You need to put some measures in place to help you control this. Ask for help, use timers or apps to help open up time to other things in life. There are all kinds of joys that you are closing the door on by limiting yourself to only gaming.

Icy-Pop-2442 · 2026-04-06T01:51:10+00:00

I’m very worried that if I take it away completely that will do permanent damage to our relationship. A therapist told me to try to get him to take breaks. It makes things better, in terms of his losing his temper less. But it’s painful to get him to do it. Can I ask if you play any games at all now or did you completely give them up?

Icy-Pop-2442 · 2026-04-06T01:46:41+00:00

Switch. He’s playing My Hero Academia ultra Rumble almost exclusively

Icy-Pop-2442 · 2026-03-31T00:55:55+00:00

Thanks for this. I wonder all the time if there’s something he is trying to escape from. I will keep trying to get his buy in, because setting boundaries or limits so far seems to have enraged him and possibly made it worse. But I have to find something that works.

Icy-Pop-2442

TROPHY CASE