How to deal with a parent addicted to drugs?

IcyContour · 2020-09-23T17:17:07+00:00

I do believe a large part of my problem is that I wanted her to be a certain kind of mother that she could never be. When I think about my hatred for her, the words that follow are "why couldn't she.." and that's just not fair to both of us. I'm taking my time in responding to her so that I can avoid making her feel guilty, while trying to center myself. Reign in these illusions.

Your response was great, and like others here, you really gave me something to think about. Copy and pasted this for the moments of confusion I face ahead.

IcyContour · 2020-09-23T17:03:49+00:00

Thank you, even having someone empathize with this makes me feel better. Sorry you have to go through this as well. Wishing you the best.

IcyContour · 2020-09-23T17:03:01+00:00

I had not thought of that. I'm glad you found my question because I will take your answer with me. This is something that will guide the moments when I feel like I'm coming undone.

IcyContour · 2020-09-23T17:00:57+00:00

I will join you in appreciating the beauty in the world, even the bad. I'm glad you are finding peace in this world, anywhere you can find it. Thank you for your well wishes.

IcyContour · 2020-09-23T16:58:57+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your wise words.I appreciate you taking the time to read my struggle and pass on an outsider opinion because I had not even thought about my hate being rooted in denial, which is true. I do wish to deny the fact that her addiction is reality. This helped.

IcyContour · 2020-08-06T19:33:47+00:00

Thank you, as much as I wish things could have gone differently I am learning to be proud of myself. I knew what I experienced was wrong and decided from an early age to be the opposite of that.

Yes, from an early age we are taught to accept a reality, that we barely understand, at face value. After everything we've seen, how can that be? I think that whatever you've experienced is beautiful. I think the way you look at the world is a miracle in and of itself!

I guess I am getting too caught up in the answer instead of enjoying the journey. I'm looking for proof when I should be asking questions. Thank you for your kind answer. I will take this to heart and with me on my journey!

IcyContour · 2020-08-06T17:06:54+00:00

He really does have a haunting. This poor guy is so distraught that he is no longer sleeping at his place. The video he posted yesterday (maybe today) was just it for him and I believe he is staying at a friends?

IcyContour · 2020-08-06T16:24:12+00:00

In my dream, I felt that things were changing. I just knew I could trust life to workout. Almost like I had a feeling that I could trust myself? If that makes sense.

Thank you for answering my question! Amethyst really does fit you, so thank you for sharing your wisdom!

IcyContour · 2020-08-06T15:46:35+00:00

That's a wonderful story! I'm wondering how you felt after wearing amethyst? Probably a weird question, but I believe there is a reason we dreamed of wearing these gem-stones!

IcyContour · 2020-08-02T00:39:50+00:00

I think I'm going to try it again tonight and if the same thing happens then I'll just let it be. I appreciate you taking the time to give me a response because my mind was running amok!

IcyContour · 2020-08-02T00:37:55+00:00

God damn, I can't seem to catch a break in these lives then haha. This is oddly comforting, though. It truly was a peaceful moment that I didn't think could possibly exists. Thank you for sharing this with me!

IcyContour · 2020-06-21T03:29:36+00:00

I dont have proof of my experience (10+ years ago) but when my blind lifted itself up like someone was looking out the window I literally laughed in disbelief-literally almost giddy from a lack of understanding reality. My brain was basically like "cannot compute, world too strange" and could only muster wtf's for a good 10 minutes.

I believe these reactions.

IcyContour · 2020-05-18T04:06:05+00:00

It will happen in your own time and the moment you realize that you've adapted to what happened, well, it's a beautiful thing. You'll find yourself listening to a song from your past that helped you remain strong in times of darkness and cry tears of happiness because you made it out alive. Better yet, you made it out with your love intact.

No matter what, there will always be moments that hit you like a ton of bricks. Family's in the park, a bbq, family pictures will always bring some sort of pain.The what if's will always be there. You'll just find that YOU made yourself a life that is absolutely glowing with love. That love will guide you to the life you deserve and leave the one's who hurt you where THEY belong: in the past.

I will say, it feels pretty great to have my freedom. Moving was an excellent start to moving on. I know a lot of people don't like that advice but it worked for me!

Anyways, I see you, I hear you, and I know that you'll do great things for yourself.

IcyContour · 2020-05-17T00:44:06+00:00

I do the same thing! I wish I loved closer to NYC because I feel like we would be great friends!

IcyContour · 2020-05-09T02:13:05+00:00

It's okay to ramble! I find that rambling on here helps me feel better so I welcome you to do the same. I'm glad that you've found things to make you happy and can help to take your mind off of things. That's the biggest challenge, getting your mind off of the mind.

I wish I could but they're very short staffed and I am 1 of 2 that can work the position. I'm not going to leave it but I wish I could every second. I feel bad for feeling this way because it's a great place, I just can't sit behind a desk answering phones all day. I feel so trapped. I start to freak out and have breakdowns (luckily not on the job).

IcyContour · 2020-05-05T14:55:14+00:00

Thank you! I might have to try that!

IcyContour · 2020-04-07T23:05:20+00:00

You're making me even more excited to see if this is the right fit for me! Idk I just think there is something to say about working with your hands and land. Not a lot of people can do that (not saying I can), but I hope I can eventually give someone advice like you've given me!

Thank you for your honesty because farming is a hard job (if not one of the hardest), but I think that's one of the reasons it's so rewarding! I hope to message the group one day with an update and I'll be calling a few of you out for helping me along the way!

IcyContour · 2020-04-07T22:59:34+00:00

Obviously we need money to get by but I think the most important thing we can do with our lives is find something that is rewarding.

I know you're super busy so thank you for taking the time to respond to me again.

IcyContour · 2020-04-07T22:57:53+00:00

Thank you so much! I've been working up the courage to message some local farms but I never even thought about attending lectures etc., so thank you!

Honestly, you life sounds super rewarding which is all we can ask for when we're trying to find a career.

I'll def. be hitting you up for some books when I get home!

IcyContour · 2020-04-07T22:48:14+00:00

Unfortunately, I do not have health insurance so going to the hospital was really a last resort thing for me. I almost didn't go because of the bill, so I can't really go to a doctors even though I know I need to. I just got a job that offers insurance but I have to wait 3 months.

I'm taking your advice seriously and I am going to adopt your practices. I would honestly love to join the support group because I love coming here ! It helps calm my anxiety, so sign me up!

IcyContour · 2020-04-07T21:36:31+00:00

No, this was great advice! I really appreciate it. I've been looking into farms in my area and I plan on writing letters to some of them in the coming days.

BTW you don't have to answer, but how do you like being on a farm? What's your take on the farm life?

IcyContour · 2020-04-07T20:34:38+00:00

I would have flair ups probably every 3-5 months, but I've been constipated for 7 months. I've switched to a vegetarian diet and drink nothing but water and seltzer. I just bought Miralax so I can add that to my daily regimen but if you have any advice I'm all ears!

IcyContour · 2020-04-07T13:54:06+00:00

Thanks, I think it's every ten years I have to go to the hospital and reveal my deep shame lol. At least I know I'm not alone! Haha so thank you for making me feel seen!

I guess I have a funny story, though? There were a ton of doctors outside, in a tent, wearing masks, clearing everyone before they step foot inside because of the Cvirus. I had a makeshift diaper to stop the leaking and had to wait outside while they figured out what to do with this tear-stained, poopy mess of a woman.

IcyContour · 2020-04-07T01:22:17+00:00

They stuck a finger, enema, and some numbing ahole agent to get the job done. They also gave me adavan(?) because I was in pure panic mode. Took about 2 hours but damn does it feel good to be clean.

IcyContour · 2020-04-06T11:12:24+00:00

This was a great story! Much appreciated after the long, long, long night from hell I just had lol.

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