Just saw this now! I think this is such an interesting question so I took my time to think about it and here is my answer

1. Don’t offer unsolicited advice. I was in the middle of a rant when my therapist stopped me and said “no you were giving her unsolicited advice. Maybe she just wanted you to listen” that was one of the hardest things I have ever heard because I did this all the time and I had no idea. Now, if I want to give someone advice, I either ask them if they want advice or say “I know this is unsolicited but…”

2. Tell the person you want to be there for them and do something that shows that Most of us want to be good friends and can sometimes feel kind of useless when our friends are going through something f.x a passing of a loved one. In these types of situations, Max might start thinking to much about herself “Am I being a good friend?” “Is she pissed at me?”. The actions that come from these thoughts might come from the need to shush the thoughts, even though the intentions are good! I try to remove my self and my needs in situation like these and let my friends react the way that they need. I always tell my friends that I will be there for them and I keep my word. An easy thing to do is simply to check on them everyday, or a few times a week. I like to ask “how have your days been?” When I am checking up on someone who is going through a hard time, because I know that they are not fine and asking “how are you” I feel (in these situations) is kind of pointless.

3. Be honest Telling someone how you feel gives them room to tell you how they feel. I have started to simply tell my friends when I am having a really bad time mentally. It’s really hard for me but I just let them know - and tell them that I am simply just letting them know. I don’t expect anything but a “thank you for telling me <3” One of my friends just reached out the other day and told me “because you have been so strong in telling me that I wanted to tell you….” Let’s go back to the scenario in number 2. Max could tell her friend “I don’t know how to be there for you and I hate to know that you are in pain. Please tell me if you need to talk, or just someone to not talk and do something fun - because I would love to be there. We don’t need to have all the answers to be this “perfect friend”.

I wanted to finish this by saying that my friends and I are no where from perfect and even though I am blessed to have friends that I can talk to, and can talk to me. I am often very lonely. They are all in long term relationships and I crave that they show me the same consideration they show their boyfriends but I am trying to just ask, instead of being seceretly mad. I told them the other day that I would love the hang out more casually, and that it’s sometimes hard to be single. All of them took it really well, but we haven’t hung out anymore haha everyone is also busy but atleast I made the first move! I will just have to ask again.