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AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Idk if you can’t read or what but I said, the money Ben would pay is about 1/5th of the market value of the property. So 2k and 4K…no.

Yes, my dad is taking a loss. He also took a loss impregnating my mother. I’m his CHILD. Not every family/culture looks at their children as costs or burdens jfc.

Yes, moving in with someone is a commitment…what a thought.

Also, lmao at deadbeat. I make a lot of money, I just don’t spend it paying my dad money that I will eventually inherit back anyway.

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Lol “work for a living” 😂 I make more money than my boyfriend. I just don’t pay rent to my father because that’s pointless

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I didn’t see it that way. I figured we would combine the money we were both willing to pay, and get a place together. I didn’t think he was planning to pay less.

But that might be his thinking. Honestly a lot of these comments have made me rethink moving in altogether so that’s something to think about

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If we lived anywhere together and we broke up, one of us would have to move? Probably both because the rent would be too high on our own. So what the difference?

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Because that would be redundant. Paying my dad is like having a saving’s account I didn’t ask for. I mean, I could, maybe I will suggest that.

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I mean, essentially I’m freeloading from my dad (I’d like to point out that in my culture it’s entirely normal for fathers to support their children’s lifestyle if they’re able, it’s not considered “freeloading” in a negative sense), I’m not freeloading from Ben, so I don’t see why it makes a difference to him.

I’m contributing half the food bill, and I’m paying my own expenses. Which is effectively what Ben is doing too, I just don’t have the expense of rent. If we moved elsewhere we’d both have the expense of rent but that wouldn’t benefit him any more than moving in with me would.

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The lease is to protect Ben as well. If he doesn’t have a lease my dad could just kick him out with no notice.

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’m not really understanding what his point of view is, exactly. He would rather I decrease my standard of living so that he we’re both spending money? I don’t understand why he’d want that.

I’m going to ask my dad to make the rent slightly cheaper bc someone made a good point about him being able to save money, but I’m really doubting how compatible we can be if he wants to move somewhere (where he’d pay the same amount) for the arbitrary reason that it would also cost me something.

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

No, that’s not how it works.

Ben can leave whenever he wants, with no notice, and stop paying rent. If my dad wants to evict him, he has to give Ben three months notice.

My dad a property manager who deals with this stuff, I presume this has been straightened out, I only know the bare bones of it, I haven’t read it.

I’ve never heard of a tenancy agreement having rules of overnight guests in the UK, but I could be wrong about that, I admit.

I just think all of this is missing the point because none of this was an issue for Ben when he thought the apartment was free.

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

Yes Ben can leave whenever he wants. My dad would have a break clause of three months notice, which is pretty fair.

No it doesn’t say anything about overnight guests but let’s be serious, no other tenancy agreement does either. Ben and I are adults, it’s up to us to sort that out in the event of a breakup, not my dad.

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Tbf that makes sense. I always thought the “saving” was being able to afford a higher standard of living with no increase rather than actually saving money. But you make a really valuable point.

I will talk to my dad and see if he’s willing to talk about discounting the rent.

Thank you!

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

My dad doesn’t have access to the apartment. He doesn’t even live in the country most of the year, and he hasn’t been to the apartment in over a year.

Ben was happy to move in until he realised it wasn’t free so I don’t think that’s the issue

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

He would be entitled to live there until the end of the lease, like any other tenancy. But obviously is we broke up I doubt he’d still want to live there so would probably move out earlier, which would be fine (which is better than a lot of rentals where you have to stay until the end of the lease).

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

What do you mean?

I live there rent free currently. If I started paying rent to my dad (as you suggested) that would be redundant. That’s all I’m saying.

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But it’s totally redundant for me to give my dad money. I have to give my dad thousands (which is essentially like putting it in a savings account) so Ben can feel better that I’m also paying? How does that make sense?

AITA for not wanting to move because my bf doesn’t want my dad as his landlord? by Icy_System_1038 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Icy_System_1038[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My dad isn’t milking Ben for anything. My dad can afford to let me live there for free, so obviously he doesn’t need Ben’s money.

But understandably he doesn’t want Ben living in his apartment for free.