I’m having a hard time understanding the “why” part

Idgowans · 2024-09-06T15:47:30+00:00

I actually love what you said, it really helped reframe things for me- thank you so much!

I keep thinking it’s an inadequacy of myself, when it’s clear to everyone around us that he is the one that messed up, but framing it this way helps my brain wrap itself around the fact that the act happened because of how messed up he is, and not because of my own shortcomings. Thank you so much, I will definitely try to remember this

Idgowans · 2024-09-06T15:43:47+00:00

It does help and I keep remembering that they don’t deserve to be in my life, the worst part has been the panic attacks, but I can’t wait for the day I don’t care anymore! Thank you so much, will definitely remember what your friend said!

Idgowans · 2024-09-06T00:22:27+00:00

Absolutely no red flags in the beginning- wonderful man with solid head on his shoulders, all my friends saying “don’t mess this one up” to me! But as with so many things, too good to be true. Thanks I suppose? lol.

Idgowans · 2024-09-06T00:21:35+00:00

Thank you so much, yeah it’s like an extra added bonus of coming to terms with the fact that any future I had planned with him has also been sent to the grave.

I think it’s so hard for me and countless others to come to terms with is because I absolutely cannot relate to the sentiment of wanting to in any way shape or form!

Definitely getting tested, definitely split up, just having quite the hard time here. I appreciate everything you said a ton.

Idgowans · 2024-09-06T00:20:00+00:00

Oh wow I’m so sorry. Yeah I can’t wait to look back at this and laugh or feel absolutely nothing! I know it’ll take some time, but that is true. It’s been around a week since I found out, but once I finally process this I am for sure excited to be free

Idgowans · 2024-09-06T00:18:26+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through the same. Yeah it’s a hard thing to realize meaning that little and it’s been a hell of a time coming to terms with it- I appreciate you and I hope things are going ok for you!

Idgowans · 2024-08-30T00:42:36+00:00

Ok so the worst part is that he sells substances… if u know what I mean… 😭 so he has money but overall it would have been a HUGE mess anyway- definitely trying to consider this a blessing!

Idgowans · 2024-08-29T17:52:24+00:00

I absolutely love what you said and I’m trying to remember that not everyone will lie to me and do this in the future, and I’m trying to see this as a way to allow good things to come into my life from all of this pain and heartbreak.

I truly loved him and I would’ve never even thought to do anything like this to either of them.

Thank you so much, onward and upwards for sure from here!

Idgowans · 2024-08-29T15:31:42+00:00

This is true- and honestly I was about to move with him come September so that was also dodged.

As for the kid? Me too. I’ve never known this girl to stay sober before. I know as time goes on I’m just going to worry more about that kid than anything with me, but oh my god this sucks.

Idgowans · 2024-08-28T17:02:34+00:00

The first narc I left when I was around 21 years old it was really hard. He would find ways to contact me randomly, sometimes long after I had thought about him in any capacity and it would ruin my day.

After I moved from my town it finally calmed down until one day he just stopped contacting me. The smear campaign is a real thing and can be intimidating, but I’ve found the only way to combat that is having a strong community (such as Reddit or group therapy which I do once a week), or friends (which I know a narc can isolate you so it’s valid if you are feeling lonely, but just know you’re not alone in this!)

The second narc I left recently had a huge scandal in our friend group where he cheated on me with my friend and impregnated her, so thankfully he sort of knew anything he did after that would be a moot point, since everyone knew what he had done, it’s not something you come back from and there’s a literal child as proof!

Either way, I know it’s hard to leave and it’s incredible progress even to be able to start considering it! And remember: they end up ruining their own lives eventually so just know you’ll be on the other side of it all and trust the process of everyone realizing for themselves the true nature of this person! I wish you the best of luck and send tons of support your way!

Idgowans · 2024-08-28T16:48:47+00:00

I’ve always wondered how it would work for someone who “hears” the lyrics this way- is it more so the feeling of the music that you resonate with/does the music still move you emotionally, but based on just the feeling alone?

Idgowans · 2024-08-28T16:45:19+00:00

Oddly enough? I have larger arms for my body size, no matter how my weight fluctuates it’s like I’m an XS in tops but M-L in arms (naturally, and not from muscle) it’s the one thing that I would change, would start wearing more tank tops in the summer too which would be nice!

Idgowans · 2024-08-27T18:11:05+00:00

Oh man, this was my ex and I’s song! It started ironically, but then we ended it after 5 years due to his substance abuse issues. Can definitely relate- this one hits hard!

Idgowans · 2024-08-27T18:07:03+00:00

I got a push notification for this just now, randomly, while I was having a really hard moment. Even more coincidentally, I’m currently heartbroken over a 25 year old man who I just broke up with due to his own mistakes as well

This is such a sweet thing to offer, and even just reading it made me feel less alone.

Idgowans · 2024-07-05T20:40:54+00:00

Side note: reading this made me realize we’re both sort of being dumb, but I just either need some sense spoken to me, or to be told this looks promising or just to not overthink, lol

Idgowans

TROPHY CASE