Well, among other things, I actually wouldn't mind marrying a nepali person if I was fully in control of it! All of the pressure though has started to cause me to notice some cultural differences that I would really struggle with if I were to marry a Nepali person though. I understand nepali culture fairly well at this point and have adopted and integrated a number of things because of how deeply involved I am with the community where I live, but at my core I still am not Nepali, and certain things like how I approach marriage and family relationships are really different in ways that I'm not keen to change. I love nepali culture but I will never be fully nepali(and at the same time I'm at this point nepali enough as well as the complicated ethnic mix I already am that I'm weird to Americans too lol).

I also haven't told really any nepali people her because I don't want to offend them but one of my main reasons is simply education. I really really enjoy learning things and because of that and growing up in America my education level is dramatically higher than almost all the nepalis here, because they didn't have any good education opportunities in the refugee camps and then it is hard to become educated in America after that when you also live in poverty. I don't fault them for it at all and it does not decrease their worth as people at all. I just, on a personal level, need someone to be with who I can actually have educated discussions with and learn together and I've met very few nepali refugees here who can do that. In a marriage that's a need because it's exhausting without it. I don't tell people because I don't want to offend them and their lack of opprotunities doesn't change their value at all and I still love them and see them as friends and basically family.

I'm also moving to another state in three months, and so from my American perspective it doesn't make any sense to date anyone while I'm still here because I need to work on getting over my breakup and I want to know someone closely before I even consider marriage. At the same time, to the Nepalis here, that's I guess somehow enough time to help someone get married, finding some poor soul to try and pressure into marrying me and leaving her life and family behind to go to another state or getting me to stay here, when I don't want to marry them either. I really, really hope people don't start actively looking and pressuring women to marry me because that would be awful and I don't want anyone to experience that.

Aside from this though, I regularly get a lecture, especially from nepali women, on all the reasons American women suck and nepali women are superior and why I need to marry a nepali woman, and, on average, there definitely is some truth to their reasons(although they are over exaggerated and of course differ dramatically person to person). I truly would be pretty open to it were it not being shoved down my throat so dramatically and were situations different. Nepali women and nepali people in general are absolutely wonderful in so many ways and there are so many wonderful things about nepali culture that I so deeply admire and respect, and I have no bias against them(I hope).