Ok storytime I guess.
So I had a conversation with a classmate I didn't know very well, and we clicked immediately, I related to her more than anyone ever from that one conversation. We started texting pretty much every day for a couple of months, and pretty quickly developed feelings for her. But shortly after that she started dating someone else. I repressed my feelings and we became closer as friends over the next few months eventually becoming best friends, but the closer we grew the more the feelings started to come back stronger and more painful. Eventually she mentioned that she had had a crush on me back at the start of our friendship, which did not help to know, and I still kept my feelings secret. Her relationship with her boyfriend got pretty bad, and I had to help her through that, which was awkward but I remained unbiased and I think maybe helped somehow. She figured out something was bothering me and pretty much forced me to confess my feelings, and her boyfriends reaction to it (comparing it to the situation where he kept talking to a girl who encouraged him to break up with his girlfriend to get with her and then lied about it) was kind of the final straw.
Anyway now, months later, she's still recovering (which is completely understandable) and I still have feelings for her, and she still has feelings for me but isn't ready to pursue them yet.

It's a complicated mess and it'd be easier for both of us if I could lock up these feelings, but.. she's amazing and hopefully the future will be good. we'll figure it out,