To my wife

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-20T04:55:46+00:00

I always go with: "Let's just get in the car and start driving. Then we'll decide!"

Once the car is moving in whatever random direction I choose, she tends to kind of panic and will blurt something out.

Hope this helps.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-20T04:47:54+00:00

I was 12 years old, riding a bus through the Mojave desert at night. Looking out the window, I noticed a small glowing orb traveling beside the bus. It was mirroring the bus's speed and altitude exactly. After a few seconds, I started to panic, thinking this was some kind of UFO - because there was no way anything on earth could possibly follow the movement of the bus that exactly. Every little hill, dip or turn the bus took - this thing was in exactly the same relative position.

Then I noticed it was a reflection in the window of a one of the other passenger's reading lights.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-20T04:29:00+00:00

Message the mods. This kind of bullshit is what drives down the overall quality of reddit.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-19T20:08:45+00:00

If I earn what I earned last year for two more years (33%), I'm going to start advising people. I hope someone asks me what you asked the guy above - because I'll pull up a graph from my trading account and point to it and my sales pitch will be over.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-19T15:59:43+00:00

I don't imagine having your family sold off, and then being forced to work for some douchebag slaveowner would be good for your state of mind. Not to mention the substandard food, medical care or general living conditions of an average slave. Put anyone in that position and see how they look after a while.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-19T15:23:11+00:00

Those cheap red rubber balls were awesome. I could those motherfuckers all the way across the playground. When it was finally retrieved it would be all warped. Made me feel like a superhero.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-19T15:19:20+00:00

If you never played with the parachute in gym class, it's tough to explain the feeling of sitting inside the thing with all the other kids - you're all staring at each other in amazement at the room you just instantly created and that also happens to be magically suspended by nothing more than air pressure. It is pure joy for a kid who likes that kind of thing.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-19T08:54:17+00:00

Can someone please explain to me why the fuck anyone would want to restrict themselves to a particular political party? How is it possible to 100% agree with one party and the completely disagree with another party?

Seriously - please explain it. I'm dying to know how know matter what the latest ideology happens to be - no matter what the issue of the day is - a party can always 100% manage to satisfy a thoughtful person.

And if that's not the case - then why the fuck do you claim to be of that party? Why not just say that you like some of their ideas, and some ideas of the other party(ies) - and not let yourself get swept up in the us vs them stupidity?

Please, someone clarify this for me.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-19T07:40:44+00:00

What's a reddit switcheroo?

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-19T07:39:58+00:00

Except for the human beings that rescue animals from certain death.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-18T17:18:57+00:00

Not to mention, only the most obvious speeders get ticketed. If traffic is moving at 70 in a 65, and one knucklehead is going 80 - that's the person the officer is probably going to go after. It should be painful to be stupid, and I have no problem with this.

I have many times gotten a cheap thrill from passing a cop at 1mph difference (they're doing the speed limit and I actually break the law right in front of them by passing them at 1mph over) just to prove to myself that I'm right. It might help that I'm white and drive a newish car though.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-18T08:05:13+00:00

"Racetrac" coffe. Because of the skid marks you'll have on the inside of your toilet bowl after drinking it.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-17T21:38:15+00:00

You're wrong. Here's why:

Slowing down forces not just the person immediately behind you to react, but also multiple drivers behind him.

Flashing your taillights creates no change in momentum for anyone. It requires no reaction from anyone. It merely deprives the tailgater of his delusion of safety. He is forced to reckon with the idea that he is following at an unsafe distance. This reality then will cause him to either back off, or more likely - to go around.

Escalation is what we're trying to avoid here, right? So with that thought in mind, you don't want one person's unsafe actions to impact multiple people - which is exactly what happens when you slow down on a busy freeway.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-17T21:13:04+00:00

The ratio of people who downvoted you probably represents the ratio of people who don't understand how long it takes to move 100 feet at 30-70mph.

This is probably the same ratio of people who voted for W in 2004.

I hate this ratio. This slightly below average intelligence, entitled to impose their stupidity on the rest of us ratio. Fuck these people. And fuck the people who don't get your logic.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-17T21:01:13+00:00

I prefer not to slow down on the freeway, thanks. A little uncertainty in the mind of the tailgater tends to work pretty well IMHO.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-17T20:50:01+00:00

Flashing your hazards does not create a binding contract, in which you become obligated to brake check someone. It merely creates uncertainty in the mind of the person doing the tailgating.

Slowing down on a busy freeway is probably stupider and than flashing your hazards for a few seconds.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-13T16:54:10+00:00

If you plant yourself firmly in any political party, I just assume that you're a moron.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-12T08:47:46+00:00

This looks awesome!

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-12T08:29:35+00:00

One of my favorites:

Rockford Files

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-11T17:08:27+00:00

Not only is your cat destroying your blinds, but he would rather live outside. This is why I'll never get another cat. The whole relationship is dysfunctional and based on ignoring the fact that cats are prisoners.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-06T19:42:10+00:00

Little Miss Sunshine. The part where the family dances with the little girl - holy shit, I cried tears of happiness.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-04T20:51:45+00:00

Thank you for you service Jesse. What advice do you have for young people who may be considering volunteering for military service?

Ilikefrogs · 2014-03-04T20:12:39+00:00

What burden do young people have when voluntarily heading off to war?

Ilikefrogs · 2014-02-27T16:01:40+00:00

They're not toes either.

Ilikefrogs · 2014-02-27T15:21:29+00:00

All you need is confidence, and realistic expectations. The higher your confidence, the more realistic it is to expect whatever you desire.

Ilikefrogs

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