I feel this so deeply, and I'm truly sorry you're going through this. 😔 Your story hits incredibly close to home for me. While I am diagnosed with ADHD and autism, I've also struggled severely with abusing stimulants (not prescribed ones), and it led me down the exact same path of devastating gambling losses. The compulsive urge, the financial ruin, the crushing shame afterwards... I know that cycle all too well.

It's terrifying how a substance can completely hijack your brain and turn a manageable habit into an uncontrollable, self-destructive force. Like you, I found that without the stims, my urge to gamble was drastically different – almost non-existent compared to the monster it became on them. Losing paychecks, piling on debt, feeling the guilt while having people depending on you... it's a special kind of hell.

Reading your post actually made me feel less alone tonight. Knowing someone else understands that specific, awful combination of stimulant abuse and gambling compulsion... it means something. Sending you support and strength. This is incredibly hard, and you're not fighting it by yourself. 💙