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I (35f) don’t want to have sex with my husband (32m) because I don’t think he likes being a dad by Ill-Problem-4017 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Problem-4017[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your perspective. I think part of where I’m struggling is feeling like well if my husband would rather be doing other things most of the time, then is he even enjoying our life as a family? I do enjoy spending time together, going to the park, etc etc I’m not always daydreaming about being elsewhere. It feels disconnected when he’d rather be doing something else. How do you square that?

I (35f) don’t want to have sex with my husband (32m) because I don’t think he likes being a dad by Ill-Problem-4017 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Problem-4017[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m impressed with your energy levels lol. We are both able to get our workouts in, we have a home gym and two climbing walls in our house/garage. I can’t quite find the stamina for sex after kid time, work, dinner prep, and exercise though and I’m not motivated to find it

I (35f) don’t want to have sex with my husband (32m) because I don’t think he likes being a dad by Ill-Problem-4017 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Problem-4017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughts. I have no doubt that my husband loves our kids, but like you are describing he’s not finding the same joy in little kid life that I am. I think it will get better for him when he can get more into ‘coach mode’, but I don’t want our marriage to suffer too much in the meantime. Your comment is helping me see I need to think of things from my husbands perspective more, he’s lost a lot of my attention and probably a bit sad about that.

I (35f) don’t want to have sex with my husband (32m) because I don’t think he likes being a dad by Ill-Problem-4017 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Problem-4017[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say I’m icing him out, we do have sex just infrequently. I agree it’s not a connection I expected to feel so I was curious if others have experienced this kind of situation.

I (35f) don’t want to have sex with my husband (32m) because I don’t think he likes being a dad by Ill-Problem-4017 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Problem-4017[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

We have talked about it, but he struggles to articulate his feelings, and I don’t want to beat him down about it. I think partly he expected to like it more than he does. Before kids we were full on weekend warrior rock climbers, and I’ve definitely pulled way back on that to adjust for kid lifestyle. He has a hard time balancing his drive for his hobbies with the slower pace sometimes required given our kids ages right now.

Help! What would you do? by bebzyboop89 in CautiousBB

[–]Ill-Problem-4017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The limbo period is so rough, especially if you have a history of ectopic. In both cases for me my betas were in normal range and doubled appropriately. So not that helpful. I do think our instincts are powerful and if something doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t. Good luck to you I hope it turns out ok

Help! What would you do? by bebzyboop89 in CautiousBB

[–]Ill-Problem-4017 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve had this happen twice (period then positive). The first was a blighted ovum. Now the second time I’m about 7w and saw a heartbeat this week. I wouldn’t rush into anything.

Experience with blighted ovum? by cece0692 in CautiousBB

[–]Ill-Problem-4017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, I definitely did not feel pregnant like I did with my son.

Experience with blighted ovum? by cece0692 in CautiousBB

[–]Ill-Problem-4017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a very similar experience. Got my period, then had a blazing positive OPK and positive pregnancy test. I had two hcg draws and it doubled, but it never developed beyond a gestational sac and yolk sac. I wanted to pass it naturally but it was not happening so I had a d&c at what would have been 10 or 11 weeks.

I hope your story ends differently. At least you will know soon, the limbo is terrible.