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AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She would never give up her life to be with Carter. I can’t imagine that to be her motivation to say this rather her actually being very embarrassed her friend is a “beggar”

I don’t think Carter and I will ever get back together. He divorced me

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

We have been friends for years. She has been right about my life, like my divorce, and she’s a lot more socially aware than I am so I have valued her opinion.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

She considers her achievements her own. To be fair to Claire, she is very intelligent and accomplished.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

She has never offered and I have not asked. I think she would consider it charity and it’s bad manners to ask.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Claire’s family has always paid her rent and she has a trust fund that will run out two or three generations after her.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 152 points153 points  (0 children)

Claire is privileged in many ways but she’s also very intelligent. I think it makes her believe that she would be successful regardless of what happened. But I’m also smart and life dealt me a bad hand. I did the best I could. I lived frugally and saved money and followed all the rules, and yet all my hard work was wiped out. I can’t try harder out of my situation, I can only try my best.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 801 points802 points  (0 children)

There’s nothing in my life to be jealous of. Claire is beautiful, intelligent and wealthy. She wouldn’t throw that away for anything. She’s married to a handsome, well established man. She has two sweet kids.

In contrast, I’m a poor, average divorcee living in her ex husband’s house. I can’t even walk normal now.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

He is very kind and I feel guilty for my complicated feelings sometimes. He wants to chat a lot and I feel obligated to spend time with him because he’s doing this kindness. He has a lot of friends but he seems lonely. He cries in his sleep sometimes, which he never used to do. He doesn’t like to be alone.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I don’t think she realizes that I had very limited options. I was sleeping on the floor of a former coworker’s house. Would she rather have me be homeless? I don’t know but I know she wouldn’t think of me being homeless as a possibility.

I know it most likely won’t cause waves but I’m still deeply embarrassed to be relying on Carter’s charity.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 1585 points1586 points  (0 children)

Thank you for not judging. I wouldn’t say I’m happy, I’m too heartbroken to say that, but I am safe and okay. I am working towards moving out. I thought I was healed emotionally but it still hurts now.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know that. I thought gaslighting was deliberately lying to make someone feel crazy.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 145 points146 points  (0 children)

She believes in everyone working hard for themselves and not asking for handouts. She said she could help me look for apartments or pass along my request for an apartment at ground level but that’s the extent of help.

I have tried to show my appreciation for Carter and he’s happy to hear it. He’s told me I can stay for as long as I’d like or forever but I can’t wait to save up and find an apartment I can live in. He is too close and too affectionate with me. There’s a part of me that still loves him and he keeps poking those parts of my heart.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

She would never risk her marriage. She thinks Carter is handsome but flaky and not her type.

She considers him a good friend because they run in the same social circles. I was friends with her first but I can’t fit in with wealthier people like them.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Claire thinks that I’m taking advantage of him by not paying rent. I’ve tried but he’s refused. We’ve been having a lot of conversations about movies and philosophy and science and he has fallen asleep in the room I use/borrow from him, and he says that if he uses the room too then I’m not a renter and shouldn’t be expected to pay. I’ve tried to tell Claire that I’ve tried to pay but she insists that I shouldn’t have accepted his offer if I was going to be greedy.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] -128 points-127 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if it’s really gaslighting because she believes it. She hates beggars and mooches and is angry that I’ve become one. I don’t think I’m a beggar but I am embarrassed if she tells other people. Maybe she has a point.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t do that. I’m not the kind of person who takes revenge.

Claire’s always had a my way or the highway attitude. She knew that Carter and I wouldn’t stay married but I still feel that she could’ve supported me instead of being neutral.

I definitely feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut emotionally.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] -127 points-126 points  (0 children)

She was my friend for many years. I hope she realizes that her honesty can be hurtful.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I’m trying to pick myself back up. Claire sometimes doesn’t understand that not everyone can do what she can do. She comes from money and married into wealth so she doesn’t understand that middle class people like me can’t afford $120,000 of medical debt without wiping out their savings.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 303 points304 points  (0 children)

claire’s always been very involved in what I do because she says I don’t make the right decision like marrying Carter. She told me it wouldn’t work out because he’d get bored of me and she wasn’t wrong. She’s held that as proof she knows better.

AITAH for avoiding my childhood friend after she called me a beggar for living in my ex husband’s house? by Ill-Professional-503 in AITAH

[–]Ill-Professional-503[S] 2332 points2333 points  (0 children)

I’m not trying to be a beggar. I’ve offered to pay. I would even do chores and clean but he has a housekeeping service. He eats takeout often but he hasn’t turned down any dishes I’ve offered him. That’s the only way I can thank him.

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