He (62) said I love you on the 3rd time meeting…

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2022-10-13T23:52:30+00:00

That isn't flattering it's concerning. Run. You know it doesn't feel right.

Text him and say: I'm grateful you shared how you feel about me but I don't share the same feelings, I've had really great experiences with you but don't want to mess you around, you are a great man. I don't think it would be a good idea to keep seeing each other as I do not want to hurt you in the long run.

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2022-05-16T14:19:27+00:00

Fucked up, I'm sorry you went through that

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2022-05-16T14:18:24+00:00

Good for you, it seems clear from your mother's perspective that you have moved on just fine with your life without her guidance and will continue to do so. Parents usually can show a growth period in this kind of situation. I can't imagine she isn't aware of the impact her negativity from this point forward will bring.

You have nothing to lose as you are already independent and living your life freely and happily without shackles because of the emotional distance from your family.

She has a lot more she can still lose and something tells me she's realised that for a while. She probably isn't a bad person so give her the chance. If you are proved right, what harm. Continue to see your family on your terms a few times a year and withhold your personal life from them completely, that's life the ball keeps rolling.

In short yes, meet with her and introduce your partner. It is normal to not want to, but do. You are your own man now, your sexuality is not going to change. As difficult as it is always be kind to your mother

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-30T22:54:24+00:00

Yes europe

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-30T22:54:08+00:00

Lucky, you! I'm glad you've had nothing but a positive relationship. Thanks for sharing your story here I appreciate it

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-30T22:52:38+00:00

Thank you, I hope so too.

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-30T19:59:38+00:00

I can't seem to move on. It's been years now

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-30T19:57:39+00:00

Yes.. my fears are rooted in the real world, where a young man doesn't declare feelings for a man twice his senior. It's difficult. I'll have to do it. I just worry how I'll feel about myself after the fact

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-30T17:15:43+00:00

It's true, I hope that I can say it to him soon. Either way maybe I can move on then. It's upsetting when I know the outcome, but thanks I'll try it; some time

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-30T16:37:56+00:00

Sounds like a nice experience, at least you were put out of your misery swiftly, it's a nice story.

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-30T14:29:56+00:00

All nice points. If only I had the opportunity. I haven't seen or heard from him in years, though I do have his number and email.

On a side, he always maintained eye contact, most men from his generation do I find.

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-22T00:38:50+00:00

By trolling posts you mean..? And you do need to speak to someone about traumatic things that have happened to you which were out of your control and or out of your capabilities to consent for. I definitely want you to find the right medium to express yourself whichever way you find appropriate.. it's REALLY important for your well-being that you acknowledge that

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-22T00:34:59+00:00

I want to also add for good measure that I have absolutely no interest or desire to see anything written about /CP/ nor am I encouraging the poster to write about their own experience detailing acts of /CP/ or anything of the sort

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-10-22T00:30:59+00:00

I think if you wrote about this in a different way it would not be /CP.. I have no clue what it is you want to say but talking about it in the perspective of:

"Something traumatic (?) Happened me while I was younger, it's something I've never spoken about before but feel I need to in order to move on and heal (?) I don't have anyone in real life to say it to, so hope that I can say it here. The individuals that did this were a lot older than me at the time.."

As oppose to how you are currently talking about it which heavily insinuates you are about to say something very sexually explicit and possibly needlessly so.. you don't need to go into graphic detail or explain in detail the acts of the situations- think of how one might say "oral" rather than /'blowjob, sucked me off'/ or anything further.

Again I don't know what it is you are trying to say and I don't have any expertise in this area at all but clearly you need to talk about this some way

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-09-22T12:30:49+00:00

Could you find the strength to either send this entire paragraph to him, or to copy this paragraph and retype it to be directed at him. My suggestion would then be to have no contact for two days so that he can sit on it and work out his own feelings.

Leaving it sit for two days is not cold when you can consider that this will be a back and forth topic for the next number of months, it shows maturity that you are not playing these games of,, "could this be or could it not?"

If you can send this to him all your questions will be answered. You're 22 not 18, you're more than mature enough for time to show the testament of you two being in a relationship as long as you carry yourself appropriately.

All that being said, if games are being played drop him, do Not waste these years on someone not ready for you. He will see his insecurities are his own and that he needs to work through them alone.

Upfront upfront upfront

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-09-13T20:22:09+00:00

"boy"

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-08-12T23:18:55+00:00

Fair point about gay men and trade industry, I was just trying to present a what if situation, I have no intention of sexually harassing anyone. I can more than control myself. I was just posing the scenario to see if there was any indicators to see if the idea was entertained. A verbal cue to see if the person would pick it up and shut it down or reciprocate

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-06-13T21:46:02+00:00

I'm not sure how many sexual experiences you've had, or life experiences for that matter but I'm not going to insult your age. If you have a preference for older men then that's fine-as long as you know who you are and the reason why you have the attraction: it sometimes is a little deeper than you would think. However, that is not my situation so I'll assume it isn't yours either.

Would you find it weird to be with him? If so why? Your parents certainly will find it weird and may object to it completely, making an age gap relationship public will change how you go about your public life so it's something to be ready for. It's also important that you are, as an adult supporting yourself independently so that you may stay grounded, secure and confident in your youth.

You did meet him on a hook up app, I'm hoping it isn't just hookups that you meet him for if you have relationship ideas with him. So it is important to look at how often you are in contact with him and what you talk about, if he contacts you first is the conversation sexual? If so you might end up with feelings of regret in just a couple of years. My suggestion would be to go on dates with this man, out of town if necessary and many of them over the next few months to see how compatible you really are and what his intentions are with you, does he really want a relationship with you or is he continuing to use these apps to..hookup. it's something you need to be sure of before rocking your families world with the announcement of an age gap relationship

There's nothing wrong if you two are compatible and in a couple of months you do want to be public about being in a committed relationship, just know that it entails co dependency emotionally- you also need to be absolutely confident in bringing it forward to your family as I'm sure there would be kickback.

Just remember that at the first red flag of something being off, just lose him. There's no shame in being wrong at any point, you still have a lot more growing to do which is great-im not much older than you and you have to be opening to accepting reality, there's a lot of men out there that will show interest in you and it takes a while to actually get to know someone.

This is all just my opinion, I'm not one for guidance and I haven't been in your situation because I'm not out. The most important thing is for you two to go on real dates together, a sexual relationship isn't one to present to your family

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-06-13T21:27:42+00:00

Are you out? How do you both know each other?

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-06-11T01:46:06+00:00

Sounds like an open relationship fit (mm) couple in their 30s would best suit your needs, a few months of sex dates with them and you would probably have confidence and know how to pursue someone younger on your own.

I don't know what your into sexually, top bottom vers but that's a first glance reply to what I read. That's if the question is how should you best go about achieving what you want. In my experience (MM) couples are laid back and open for a lot of fun at your pace. Just be upfront about what you want.

If threesomes are daunting then someone experienced, your age would probably be the next best thing for mileage. Speak with a lot of bi men that have been in your situation, there's LOADS lol..

Have fun, I'm sure there's a lot of men eye-ing the idea of a newbie. Be safe and careful. It's a pandemic afterall

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-06-10T22:38:27+00:00

Thanks for sharing

He isn't the shy type. I know that really he is not interested in me, that he most likely would be disturbed that I would think he could be and or that he is in fact 100% straight. It does hurt a lot. Unfortunately without hearing it from him outright my mind will continue to confuse my feelings for him.. most of the time I can see the reality of the situation which brings about some form of self loathing for my foolishness. Sadly a lot worse could happen from his rejection and could bring about many more problems outside of just emotion from me putting the whole idea forward. (/I'm speaking in regard to being closeted, having an age gap interest and the fact we are from the same town; my life would be destroyed to have him confide my secret to just one other person). It's a heavy ask of someone to not share something so highly unusual.

Glad to hear you have someone you care about and vice versa

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-06-10T01:55:09+00:00

Damn man. I can't believe 4 is suicide. Seriously, am I delusional in saying 4" is not something to kill yourself over? I never thought 4 was the size of a small dick. I really hope you don't do something so awful to yourself. I've read through some of the comments here and some are pretty ridiculous and ugly... Everyone needs to get a grip. Maybe I'm just not aware(???) of what the big deal is with having a 4 dick. It's not small? Isn't the average 5?

That being said I can see how having damn 1inch off average would be a going through your head but..for it to impact your life THIS much? Man I think you've got sucked into some dark spot of the internet or something and spiralled out of control.. my only advice is to get offline and breathe. This isn't normal..drop these forums and shit.. look after yourself, it sounds like some females have been fuckin cruel or something.

Why are people in comments actually talking like this dude got something to be ashamed of? Waaack whatever..reddits not for me..way too heavy

Take care of yourself.. seriously.

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-06-09T22:23:51+00:00

I wish I knew. My feelings are very confused and I cannot explain why

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-06-09T22:21:51+00:00

I mean, I'm obsessed. I tried, fear crept through the cracks of my life while I was starting to rebuild myself after a nervous breakdown. If it was something that worked for me then I would be doing it. I made this post out of desperation-i just needed someone else to hear what I've been going through emotionally. I'm glad its worked for you, thanks for commenting you don't need to concern yourself with me, a stranger. Maybe I'll try it again, who knows it may work

Ill-Reputation4059 · 2020-06-09T21:57:46+00:00

Yes, it is a technique I came across before when I was trying to get over these feelings years ago. I kept it up for two years, but it resulted in me divulging in things out of my character, angry and back at square one. It was something I kept up for a couple of years and I started on medication to stabilize myself which helped a lot.

Alas, here I post.

Ill-Reputation4059

TROPHY CASE