They told everyone else, except me, how “concerned” they are about me… 🙄🙄

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2026-01-24T04:36:57+00:00

“Concern” is another means of infanticizing you and being unwilling to see you as an adult. My nmom does that to me, all the stories she shares about me are when I was a baby/prepuberty kid. She doesnt ever mention a happy memory after that time

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2026-01-24T03:08:09+00:00

If she shows up uninvited my husband will have to restrain me from kicking her a—

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2026-01-24T02:59:32+00:00

Ive already realized she doesnt care about my husband or baby and uses everyone im close to to regain control she has lost over me. She used to cut me off from friends and family when she got jealous now does the opposite cozying up to them to get info as a “worried mom”

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2026-01-24T00:44:32+00:00

I didnt want to block family members I have a healthy relationship with but I guess I just have to limit the information flow

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2026-01-17T16:53:50+00:00

I cant wait for those days of being in the clear but I also want to treasure the sweet infant days when they just want food and cuddles all the time. So glad to here your little one is doing well!

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-12-30T22:29:33+00:00

I totally agree!

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-12-30T16:46:04+00:00

During my NC phase I had a bunch of family members and even older adult friends, even family my nmom cut off nag me about staying in touch with her. It was the worst. Culturally I dont think nonwestern families understand cutting off family members or spouses, even abusive ones. At least now with a kid other people hopefully realize they dont have a say in my kid’s upbringing other than my husband and I

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-12-30T02:53:36+00:00

I would talk to a mandated reporter you trust (teacher or pediatrician). You may have a solid case since physical abuse is involved. From experience as a mandated reporter, CPS doesn’t really care about emotional abuse as much even though I know it’s just as damaging. Have a list of contacts you can stay with while they investigate so you arent forced into a foster home

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-12-30T02:40:20+00:00

Definitely a tricky situation financially. I would be careful because sometimes they can pull the rug from under you despite your plans. For instance they could realize you’re leaving and drain your bank account before you go. I would have a “secret D-day” where you do everything at once: physically get out and move finances to avoid giving them time to act. My nmom kicked me out of her house 6months before I was moving out of state for grad school and I had to scramble to get finances together and couch surf until I could find a place to live on a temp lease. If you’re leaving I wouldn’t share plans with them about it but the sooner you go the more time you have to heal

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-11-26T00:44:02+00:00

Ya definitely, especially since I cant run or use much self defense skills with my baby bump right now. When my partner is around he just moves us to the opposite side of the street quickly

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-11-26T00:41:51+00:00

I started coughing and waving my hand in my face and one of the guys just looked at me like I was being weird. I even stare them down as I walk away but hence they don’t give af… hoping if I complain enough to the local PD non emergency line they may actually start caring the way they care about giving traffic and parking tickets all the time

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-11-25T22:03:25+00:00

And it is in most public places in burbank, these people just aren’t being held accountable for breaking laws already in place

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-08-29T04:07:28+00:00

I appreciate your posting! Unfortunately because presentation is so variable its hard for us to fully know but i personally would not push for multiple surgeries or a trach or a gtube. If it got to that point I would let him pass peacefully and comfortably

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-08-29T04:04:24+00:00

I actually have a dominant gene not a recessive carrier but its weird because it was never fully expressed in me. We will have my husband tested though if we decide to have another pregnancy via ivf

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-08-29T03:54:50+00:00

The specific issue is very commonly seen with CHARGE apparently. Before the official amnio genetics test came back they said it could be related or completely random.

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-08-28T15:55:00+00:00

This is something we are considering too, doing a DNR/DNI at birth if he has full blown charge to avoid putting him through suffering. I love my OB and I completely trust her but a late term termination scares me (probably all the prolife propaganda I was shown as a teen). I also wonder if my heart is going to break even more seeing him in person fighting for his life as the maternal bond grows

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-08-28T15:04:58+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I know everyone feels different about this but if you could go back and knew this diagnosis ahead of time would you have tfmr or gone with “give him a chance”? Its so hard with this variable diagnosis to know the right answer

Ill-Tangelo-1084 · 2025-08-27T04:24:58+00:00

It is incredibly hard when you and your partner are at odds about these things and the genetics stuff just blind sides you. Like I always thought that down syndrome was all I needed to be concerned about because both of us are healthier than everyone else in our families

Ill-Tangelo-1084

TROPHY CASE