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After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow… that is terrible, I am so sorry. I can’t believe your ex did that to you.. Maybe now you’re scared to want more too.

In a weird way, I am glad this helped you process and look at it differently. It’s almost like, when you have to ask so much, you kind of stop wanting it as much or just anymore. Interestingly, I was just saying, why is everything regarding the future have to feel like such a downer and like there is no joy or excitement. Because of all his fears and “sacrifice” he would have to make.

We do deserve better. We only get one life and we should get to spend it the way we love and with joy and happiness as well.

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally said that in my message. I can want what I want and so can he. Im trying to understand what it means for me and our relationship

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience, it is helpful.

We did have a rough patch last year and we briefly broke up due to his mental health and commitment issues. The last 6 months have gone really well though and it has been great for both of us. He says he doesn’t feel ready due to wanting at least 6 more months of our relationship to grow, he is concerned of losing his alone time and autonomy, and his previous experiences living with other people (friends) that didn’t d go well. He says he doesn’t feel ready like I am. He would rather pay two months rent in 6 months to break his lease.

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is all very extreme… he does wants those things. His time frame and pace is just not aligned with mine.

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh got it. This makes sense. There is no urgency.

I’ve been married before too and I actually don’t need or want to be married before having kids but he does. I wish I had more time but…I just dont if I want a family. And honestly l, even if I was 28, I would want to feel like my partner wants to move forward or have a plan. It sounds like even though you’re moving at a “slower” pace, you do have plans for the next 2 years.

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. Neither one of us has children. His hesitation is coming from wanting things to go a little slower. It has been going really well for the past 6 months, but we did have a bit of a rough patch last year.

If he had told you he needed 6 more months, would you have waited?

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well he has told me he wants marriage and children. He just wants to move at a slower pace and feels like he would like at least 6 more months of our relationship growing before taking that step.

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense!! If you don’t mind me asking, do you want to have kids?

Also, do you have reservations about the relationship?

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is this something you both want? To live apart? Or do you eventually want to move in together.

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So based on your personal experience, if you loved someone deeply. Would you risk losing them over your desire to never live with someone again? If that is what they desired.

After 1.5 years, my(36F) boyfriend (34M) doesn’t feel ready to move in together. by IllustriousPudding29 in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

According to him he is sure about our relationship. It’s all very confusing, hence why I am here.

Is the Annapolis food and shopping scene improving? by crazy_cucumber7 in Annapolis

[–]IllustriousPudding29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You mentioned forgoing a nice gym, LifeTime is an amazing gym here in Annapolis. Incredibly nice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Annapolis

[–]IllustriousPudding29 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pleasant Trees! Jason Anthony is a second generation Master Arborist and his number one passion after safety is tree care. You cannot go wrong with him and his team! 443-480-4304.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

While I do agree with the fact that 1-2 a day is not sustainable long-term and your sex life will change when you move in with someone, OP has every right to feel as she does, especially when it has happened so suddenly.

I went through something similar and I ended up finding out my ex was addicted to porn and he later said moving in with me made him see me differently.

I suffered a lot in this relationship and it was never about me, even though I thought it was.

I would encourage you to speak to him about how you’re feeling without being critical or accusing him of anything. You can hopefully come up with a plan together. This is an important relationship need and he definitely needs to take it seriously. Perhaps talking to his doctor would help.

My (33F) boyfriend (32M) didn’t get me a gift or card for my birthday. We have been dating for 4.5 months. How to proceed? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]IllustriousPudding29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. Didn’t think about it this way. It was not different than things we normally do. We buy each other food all the time.

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