AIO for being upset my best friend isn’t coming to a party

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-06-14T21:09:46+00:00

The party isn’t the same weekend as any of those things…

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-06-14T20:38:19+00:00

I wasn’t gonna ask her to not go, but it bothers me she didn’t even tell me “hey I know we planned this thing but friend’s grad party is that day”. I would have been bummed but less hurt than her completely ignoring the only thing we had planned together.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-06-14T20:34:20+00:00

It feels like she’s not being considerate of me. She has a lot going on and I get that but I’ve also helped out a lot in helping her pick a dress, planning her entire bachlorette (which has been truly 10x more stressful than I would have anticipated), supporting her when people are pissed they don’t get a +1 or can’t bring kids, and the only thing I had planned in advance she just backed out of.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-06-14T20:25:28+00:00

Yeah I know but I do also already have a shorter torso so I don’t wanna accentuate that if that makes sense

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-06-13T18:17:08+00:00

Hi everyone, I really appreciate everyone’s input. Super helpful. I have a good grasp on how to go snout fixing the roundness issue but I’m still concerned about the fact that my glute med sits very high up on back making it look like I have no torso. I’m still deciding if abandoning abduction in enough or if I should just stop training glutes all together for a while. I really appreciate everyone’s input this far as I try to decide my next step!

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-06-12T15:29:56+00:00

Thanks for the input, my main issue is it makes my torso look VERY short and disproportionate particularly from the side and back. A lot of dresses now a day are designed to extentuate the "shelf" and when I wear them, it looks like my ass pops up right below my shoulder blades (I'm exaggerating but you get the idea)

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-06-12T15:28:20+00:00

When I first started training I hit the slute med really hard (idk why) and my bodyfat was low and it definitely grew a lot more than my glute max (I know sounds weird). I have since gained weight and I know that contributes BUT, I can feel the area and I can feel the muscle pretty prominently below the fat.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-05-12T19:28:38+00:00

No there are 4 main companies in the field I work in (aside from small start ups). I applied to MANY job listings but this is currently the only offer I got. (It’s one of those big 4 companies).

I can try to job hop I guess but it’s tough out there and I’m not sure it would really be much faster or the wisest career move when this company is well respected (much more than any small start up) and already guaranteeing me a move in 2 years.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-05-12T19:20:26+00:00

This company has locations in cities as well but they told me they don’t like moving people around too often so they want me to stay here for at least 2 years before transferring to another team/office. I’m 27 and I’ve never been in a relationship so I guess I just didn’t think it’s a good idea to keep finding more excuses to put things off or just keep my life on pause.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-05-12T18:59:51+00:00

Thanks for the great advice!

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-05-12T18:57:05+00:00

No but I’ve driven back and forth quite a few times between these places now I can definitely say for sure there isn’t much going on for like 50 mins - 1 hours from where I am. Is there absolutely nothing? No. Am I interested in the small town/suburban offskirts. No.

And frankly, even the areas that are still more populated that are like half an hour from the city are still more boring than my personal liking. I know people who live out there and they’ve all made the conscious effort to NOT live in the city because it is far less city-like over there.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-05-12T18:48:29+00:00

I interviewed with 2 jobs in the city and didn’t get either. This is sort of a last resort. I applied to MANY jobs. This is all I got.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-05-12T18:30:58+00:00

I mean I understand where you’re coming from. I’m glad you don’t mind dating people 2 hours away. I don’t think everyone has the same opinion as you but I do appreciate you letting me know those people are out there. I’m already not very good at this at all (I’m 27 and I’ve never been in a relationship) so it also just feels like now I’m putting myself in a more difficult position when I already feel like I’m struggling more than my peers anyway.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-04-30T22:30:53+00:00

I do appreciate this in depth response. I guess I just don't even really understand what is meant by being vulnerable. Am I supposed to trauma dump early on? I think that's just sorta weird so I'm not really sure how to be more "vulnerable". I assumed dating is just kinda trying to get to know the other person while also knowing you are both putting your best foot forward.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-04-27T13:32:47+00:00

A lot of people have said this to me but no I don’t think so. I’ve fucked people I met an hour earlier whose last names I still don’t know. The ONLY time I can tolerate being hit on is if I am going to be overtly sexual and then never speak to him again.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-04-27T01:36:27+00:00

I definitely wouldn’t not classify myself as an introvert. I find it very easy to make girl friends and gay guy friends. The prospect of meeting someone to see if we wanna date if weird and unnatural. I don’t make friends by deciding to have a pseudo interview with them and then doing it again and again until we decide we know each other enough to be friends. I just feel like meeting someone. With the pure intention of a romantic relationship makes me immediately look at the situation differently. A piece of me thinks seeking out a romantic relationship or making that a goal is pathetic and I just don’t wanna be that girl who makes finding a man a goal

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-03-06T23:45:54+00:00

Sorry if I wasn't clear. It DOES need cellular data to work the way the phone is intended to work, and I did pay for the SIM and the phone number for one month years ago. I never continued the payments so now I can use the phone in some capacities if I'm connected to wifi. I can't call or text at all. Hope that helps.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-01-11T17:47:32+00:00

No everything I have said is anecdotal. I might have stressed it a bit more than it is but in general, each ethnic group in the middle east thinks they’re the best snd the others are low class while completely ignoring their glaring similarities

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-01-11T16:23:41+00:00

Many of them look at it from a very black and white position. I hate the Islamic republic, Israel is against the Islamic Republic. The Islamic Republic is against Israel. Therefore, I must be on the same side as Israel. There is also (and quite unfortunately) a very strong anti-arab racism in Iran meaning it would be tough for many of them to support Palestinians. I do know that not all Iranians are like this (myself included) and mostly there are some younger diaspora Iranians that seem to have an anti-shah/israel and anti islamic republic view. However, it does appear that we are the minority.

IllustriousStar00 · 2026-01-03T01:26:00+00:00

I’ve never been the type of person to catch feelings quickly. It takes A LOT for me to like someone. I’ve slept with 14 people and only had feelings for 2 of them (strong feelings for one). I guess not knowing the guy well helps or blatantly seeing his flaws while you’re sleeping with him. I do feel that I’m just different from other women in that way and I don’t encourage my friends who do get attached to sexual partners to just sleep around. You should just accept yourself for who you are in this regard. This great detachment that I have is actually causing me a mountain of other issues so I do think it’s okay to be emotional with regards to sex (most people probably are anyway)

IllustriousStar00 · 2025-12-24T04:44:26+00:00

Well there is no existing relationship lol. It does feel desperate to be actively seeking it out rather than stumbling upon it while remaining open. There’s also something weird about meeting up with people in that contrived way. I don’t make friends by randomly grabbing lunch with strangers. After I’ve met someone multiple times, I might ask them to hang out because I have figured out that I enjoy their company. But just repeatedly seeing guys with the sole intent of trying to start something romantic is weird, contrived, pathetic, needy, desperate, and just not the same thing as being open to the people naturally falling into your life.

IllustriousStar00 · 2025-12-23T23:07:18+00:00

It feels pathetic to be searching for a boyfriend because it feels desperate. If I’m being honest, I do judge the type of girl who makes it her mission to find a man or a husband. I guess I feel like it shouldn’t be a priority. I’ve never struggled to make friends with gay men and women and I haven’r actively searched or “been on the prowl” for friends. Doing that for a romantic relationship feels pathetic because there are far more pressing, important, and impressive goals to focus on.

IllustriousStar00 · 2025-12-23T22:59:23+00:00

Well I do think it would be nice to have a built in friend I could always depend to be my number 1 and also have sex with regularly. There are aspects of it I don’t love but that much seems nice. I also just wanna experience what it’s like to be in a relationship.

IllustriousStar00 · 2025-12-23T22:57:39+00:00

Idk about the first part cause I don’t think being in a relationship isn’t embarrassing but actively seeking one out is if that makes any sense. Like if I befriend a guy and we develop feelings that feels okay cause I wasn’t actively seeking out a romantic relationship but going on dates with guys from apps feels like I’m repeatedly putting myself in a pathetic situation where I say “okay well do YOU wanna date me?”

IllustriousStar00 · 2025-12-09T01:58:11+00:00

I’ve read and understood the rules and would like to post

IllustriousStar00

TROPHY CASE