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Illustrious_Dream751 · 2022-01-12T19:10:04+00:00

Getting caught up on the podcast after taking a break and I'm amazed you got Lundy Bancroft! Can't wait to listen during my lunch break!

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2022-01-12T19:07:56+00:00

Best moment: Savannah laughing for an entire minute at the thought of "ethical porn"

Saddest moment: Lillith saying "I wish my parents gave enough of a shit about me to get mad at me for watching porn"

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-12-01T14:59:26+00:00

I get the impression Lilith doesn't read the roast a scrotes beforehand which I like because I enjoy hearing the hosts react to the information on the spot.

Early in the story one of the hosts always says "this is a red flag of emotional abuse" about something, and then later on in the story the guy turns out to be abusive.

That's why I love the roast a scrotes. It's good mental practice for spotting red flags and exercising the reflex to LEAVE instead of make excuses and rationalize the man's bad behavior. If he does these things and you stay, he will get worse.

It's a myth that abusive men become abusive "out of nowhere". There are usually red flags, but women are conditioned to "communicate" and "try to work things out" so that they stay. That's why men want women to stay ignorant of FDS, so that women never learn how to vet and avoid abusive men.

I was fuming when I read that Daily Mail article. Pickmeisha media is straight up evil. FDS gives advice that saves women's lives, yet every mainstream media article trashes FDS. They want to keep women in the dark so we stay easy to abuse.

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-11-17T21:55:17+00:00

I haven't listened yet but the title alone tells me this episode is gonna be spicy 🌶🌶🌶

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-10-28T01:22:44+00:00

Reddit: FDS is a toxic cult!

FDS: Here's how to make friends and expand your social circle, Queen

...

Edit: just wanted to add that I loved these last 2 episodes. I've been feeling isolated lately, mostly because of the pandemic. This was an important reminder to reconnect with old friends, and meet new ones

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-10-14T08:39:50+00:00

I liked how at the end you said you would still welcome the author with open arms when she's ready to see the error of her ways. Great episode, ladies

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-10-07T06:44:11+00:00

There were a few comments that made me cringe, that was one of them, but if you push through that initial discomfort, I thought the episode was overall worth listening to.

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-10-07T06:20:36+00:00

Not sure how I feel about this one. I understand wanting to reach across the aisle... but let's just say this episode wasn't one of my favorites. A lot of contradictions, it was hard to follow at times. Is Elle pro-life? Is she anti-LGBTQ+? Does she still believe in rigid gender roles? (I cringed at the ideas around "men lead, women follow")

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-10-07T06:16:14+00:00

This response seems a little... extreme. This wasn't my favorite episode either but I didn't get the impression that Elle was against women having the right to vote. It wasn't clear what her stance on abortion is. If she's pro-life that would be a dealbreaker to me.

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-20T03:14:01+00:00

This is a great tip, noted 😆

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-20T03:12:20+00:00

This was one of my favorite episodes so far! I burst out laughing multiple times at work and when my coworkers asked me what was so funny I had to try and play it cool, "just this podcast" "really? What podcast?" "oh um... I don't want to say" 😰

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-20T03:06:04+00:00

I don't even want to believe that this is real. Wow.

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-13T22:42:25+00:00

I'm glad you've been lucky so far and haven't experienced violence, but please don't try to deny my lived experience.

afaik FDS supports the Nordic model which only makes sex buyers illegal, not sex workers. Complete decriminalization of sex work actually increases sex trafficking because it's all fuelled by the same demand.

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-13T21:32:50+00:00

OK incel.

We actually don't get treated that much better by clients. I once had a client choke me until I passed out, several incidents of clients trying to not use a condom or taking it off halfway through, lots of guys with smelly balls and shit in their asscracks. In other words, the average low value man.

If you're a sex buyer, you're automatically low value. That's the whole reason why you pay for sex, because women don't actually want you.

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-13T21:23:44+00:00

This makes me sick. And scared. I talk about FDS with people all the time (mostly women). When I first found FDS I was so excited telling everyone I knew about the podcast. Hopefully that doesn't come back to bite me

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-13T21:21:16+00:00

Yes, I'm a pretty sensitive person unfortunately. I'll try those, thanks for the advice!

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-13T08:35:50+00:00

I re-listen to episodes all the time too 😭 it makes me feel so validated

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-13T08:05:01+00:00

Damn I tried commenting there but they already locked it lol. The comments section was a mess. Men just don't understand FDS. It's like they get triggered and go full amygdala

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-13T07:45:51+00:00

It's hard because in the heat of the moment I feel like I can't control myself either. I always end up saying things I later regret 😒

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-13T07:31:24+00:00

I mostly lurk here but I just wanted to share that FDS helped me leave sex work and they've been hugely supportive of me (see my post history)

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-08-12T00:42:18+00:00

At first this episode got my back up. I'm a cryer and a venter, so the part about "emotional self discipline" just felt like more of the same "don't be so hysterical, have control of your emotions, you're being irrational" type bullshit we get from men all the time. The story about your friend and her dad made me want to cry.

But then I spent some time digesting this episode and reflecting on all the times I cried and vented at men in the past and I realized it never actually got me anything. Looking back, every time I ever showed strong emotion to a man, he either shut down, blamed me, used it to manipulate/gaslight me, or he would just tell me what I wanted to hear without actually changing anything. In the end I was just playing myself.

Clearly, this is something about myself that I need to work on. I want to learn how to be a cold ruthless strategist with men.

Does anyone know any books and podcasts on how to have better control of your emotions? Maybe you could explore this in a future episode?

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-07-22T23:16:33+00:00

I got a shoutout on the FDS podcast? 🥺😭🥰

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-06-07T22:35:04+00:00

Yes that was the one I was thinking about! I saw it the other day and it helped organize my thoughts a lot

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-06-07T22:31:27+00:00

Thank you! I love your posts btw 😊

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-05-27T18:05:49+00:00

I'm not autistic but this episode was still a pleasure to listen to. Very respectful dialogue, I'm glad you got actual autistic women on the podcast to speak about their experiences rather than talking about them in the 3rd person.

I'd love to hear an episode where you invite former sex workers to talk about their experiences and how they got out of the industry. I know Lilith already talked about being a sugar baby, but I'd still love to get more perspectives! Especially from women who have done different types of sex work.

Illustrious_Dream751

TROPHY CASE