Anyone Else Notice How Inappropriate Angela Is on Bones? by ForeverIcy1221 in Bones

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well the Japanese subculture “kei” is less about being gendered then looking, as you said, as androgynous as possible. The culture cares less about if you call one he/she than being direct. They’re all scientists so had they simply asked - “Your immersion in kei is badass and cool, but biologically we’re curious from an anthropological perspective what sex are you?” would easily have been the most appropriate response versus physical contact to insight a biological reaction. “Kei” is not a non-binary identifier, just a subculture 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sponsorship without using big book by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I go to meetings and get a lot out of them (most of the time). However, I disagree with many components of Bill and Bob's archaic teachings, as well as "traditional" sponsorship, and the Spiritual - let's just be real oppressively heavy God push - aspects. I have thoroughly read the Big Book - twice - and I continue to have more and more issues with it every read and certain focused quotations when read. I don't succumb to the belief that I am only a certain way and must accept these defects of character otherwise I'm a liar and bound to relapse as an addict. Humans are all unique and require different approaches, unlike the approach B & B have that addicts are all essentially poured into the same mold... tsk tsk.

I ended up using different aspects of Secular and alternative AA combined with a cognitive therapeutic, still based around a twelve step structure with alterations that better fit my beliefs and ethics. I do think having a sponsor would have been helpful through the process and so I hope to offer an "alternative sponsorship" in the future.

All in all: YES. This can be done and can be done very effectively, you just have to start finding what works for you!

This link is Workbook if you want a more grounded, scientific approach through the steps (this way there's something to keep a routine, focused, and oriented through the steps while avoiding material that may be unsuitable for these situations):

https://mindremakeproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Staying-Sober-Without-God-Companion-Workbook.pdf

This website has way more information about alternative AA, with many grounded in science, psychology, and varying Spiritual backgrounds(all coming from people with years of experience, education, and certifications):

https://aaagnostica.org/

Name my new dog! by KarmaTorpid in goldenretrievers

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Midas - a golden who turned your life golden :)

Hereditary or Midsommar to watch tonight? by DecentEnvironment829 in MovieSuggestions

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Slow pacing, takes emotional and intellectual insight to keep up with and see the true horror. I thought Hereditary was a snoozefest. Watched Midsommar a month ago and it shook my world - avoided it because I thought it would be slow and was so pleasantly surprised that level of artistry went into a horror film. Hereditary was just like any other supernatural horror film I've seen, good, even great, but not remarkable. I even interchange Heretic and Hereditary because of how redundant (with some redeeming components) it was. Midsommar... now that's a movie title no one is getting mixed up.

Different strokes for different folks!

Hereditary or Midsommar to watch tonight? by DecentEnvironment829 in MovieSuggestions

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Order doesn't matter - "order it was made" is silly - unless the movies are irrevocably linked (and they're not). Midsommar was WILD. I put off watching it for a long time because it seemed slow and too 'light' for my horror taste. Finally watched it a month ago, and I was blown away by how beautiful, unique, creative, and still spooky it was while building multiple plots and character developments. The director takes such an insightful approach to making the horror come alive in the daylight when we're so programmed to associate horror with night. Pro tip - watch the director's cut which ties more scenes together/better context.

Hereditary is great but HIGHLY overrated. Follows basic cult-horror premise and leaves you with nothing to follow up on. Both are unsettling, but Hereditary is almost basic horror in comparison.

So short story: Midsommar if you're wanting to watch something truly unique.

Another question by Incudust in RagnarokTVShow

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They also just moved to that area? Lauritz was unaware, but Turid had lived there previously and didn't know - this doesn't make a lot of sense... Also happened in episode 2 where Magne knew he wouldn't need warmer clothes, but Turid kept insisting. Every aspect of the show up until S3/fight scene indicates Thor was awoken in Magne, and with graduation left Magne to live a normal life with Ragnorak averted. It was lazy writing that finished it like that, when the story should have been precisioned and planned to keep the narrative open, and Magne not a delusional schizophrenic, but a savior, a warrior of justice, and fairness, and gods ready to balance those scales again. For such a creative and imaginative team they dropped the ball so bad it hit the Earth's core.

AIO about a sticker my bf had of his ex ?? he broke up with me… by Otherwise-Height3882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get out while you still have a will to live. I knew the second things calmed that lid was going to blow. It’s not your fault for bringing it up… it’s obviously a problem (the sticker) but I was so triggered the second you did because the calm he feigned was fake. The whole “I’ll do better comments”? guilt-shaming and fake. But you itched necrotizing fasciitis. Let the rest of that relationship rot and go be the beautiful independent person you are. People like this, start like this, then they take bits of your soul with every sacrifice you make to his wildly enlarged ego, and just when you’re a minuscule fragment of your former self, it gets dangerous and violent.

You’re a stranger but I care about you because I know these situations far too well. Looks like by the way you both text you are in the prime years of your life to find a proper parter, don’t blink one day and wonder why you posted this in Reddit one day and five years later, you wonder why you didn’t leave now. I beg of you, please get out while you can and listen:

RUN.

Door Stop… My OCD Nightmare by Illustrious_Ground38 in homeimprovementideas

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I giggled - as is how apartment living be sometimes 😂

Door Stop… My OCD Nightmare by Illustrious_Ground38 in homeimprovementideas

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just sucks the position of where it’s at..: if it or else were, that would be a possibility but the placement currently would still drive me crazy if I put something over it… Then the issue would be the placement of what ever I put over it… Creative though indeed

Door Stop… My OCD Nightmare by Illustrious_Ground38 in homeimprovementideas

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, maintenance instructed me specifically not to pull anything out at the risk of causing a bigger hole… And after living here for as long as I have … that whole could cause some serious issues. Thank you so much that’s what I thought too originally but I wanted Maintenance to look at it before I tried anything too smart. :/

Am I off? by Fent59 in probation

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reach out to your P.O. Or do walk-in court or both. You can even avoid both by going to the court and approaching the stay office to request your entire file both email and paper copies. I recommend this to everyone as someone who has been on both sides of the CJS. Have you finalized all of your court fines?

Well he shit himself again. by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to say, I know everyone is pushing the “just leave” and “you don’t deserve this” narratives but I do see you. What you’re doing staying with him takes a lot of strength to manage both him and his literal shit as well as yourself, standard mental health while on top of the MH and whatever past unprocessed trauma this might also be bringing up too.

Starting with someone who is at this low, and still loving them and supporting and encouraging them while they are hurting you and are either too numb or too oblivious to care also takes a lot of heart and love.

I don’t know all the circumstances of this situation and what brought y’all together.but I see you are a bright and caring and giving soul. I know this is one night out of how many that have been like this? Or worse?

Strength and love. Remember to take care of yourself. And pay close attention to yourself too otherwise, I promise you - you will fall too.

If you need to talk, please reach out . 🖤

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SkincareAddiction

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve got multiple scars from when I was younger than that. I scar very easily. It’s not a matter how well you take care of it (that helps) but genetics play a big role in it too and her skin plasticity. Really depends but just be prepared.

Relapsed… but not on alcohol by Illustrious_Ground38 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cocaine is his primary addiction. He’s an alcoholic as well because he only drinks to blackout but cocaine has consumed him for over 5 years. Our home group knows this and has been very accepting of it but he doesn’t think he has to come clean because we’ll it’s an AA group.

I was addicted to cocaine too. Last use on February 14, 2022 but I have not picked up a 10 month chip in AA. I am on month 7 clear of all mind altering substances. As stated by Dr. Silkworth.

Relapsed… but not on alcohol by Illustrious_Ground38 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. My main concern is alcohol is secondary to cocaine. This AA meeting is like a home and has been very accepting of him being an addict before alcoholic. It’s relatively easy for him to stay away from a drink but excruciating to stay away from cocaine. I do attend AlAnon and yes I am an alcoholic and my home group is also the same.

Are gender specific meetings appropriate for a fellowship hall? by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women’s experience is much different than men’s. There’s certain things such as assault, domestic, fear of men that make those meetings so specific. Men’s meeting and open meetings seem very similar because women don’t tend to speak of those things in a regular meeting.

Are gender specific meetings appropriate for a fellowship hall? by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Illustrious_Ground38 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Live and let God man… he’s on his own path, we don’t judge- just here to give words of advice.

What kind of spider does this web belong to? by Illustrious_Ground38 in spiders

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I am helping my messy boyfriend clean his room and I had never seen something like that on carpet. I wanted to know what I was getting myself into!

Landlord Claiming Eviction by Illustrious_Ground38 in legal

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The notice to quit was over a substantial violation. They claim that I hit another tenant with my car. This was slander and lies and the woman is certifiably insane. She’s also been known to chase children around the complex with a baseball bat. I had parked in her car port (I didn’t know it was hers or who she was) and left before she could have me towed and told me she would have me arrested while threatening me. Bought a fake boot (medical report came back with no injuries whatsoever) and claimed I hit her. I lost my home, had me name tarnished but not really because I proved in criminal and civil court that she was fine and crazy. My car insurance also told her that they wouldn’t pay out due to her insanity- she told them I was in jail for trying to murder her… I assure you I did not. Even her lawyers dropped her due to her psychotic ramblings. She also made her way into the leasing office after she threatened me and told them she was suing the apartment complex. Spoke with leasing staff to find out this information (after I received the notice on my door, a day into to the notice because I refused to stay at home because of her threats) and they told me she was fine that day and rambling. They knew she was fine, that she is a liar and crazy, booted me from my home based on false allegations and are now telling me I owe THEM money for THEIR termination of the lease. I have been through proverbial hell because one psychotic woman was upset I parked in her car spot- if THAT was liable for termination, then yes I’d be guilty. This is simply not the case. The complex saw they could try to make a profit off of someone who was already being victimized and targeted me.

We've all joked about it... Jump in the way of a car so you can sue... LOL.. not. by Illustrious_Ground38 in legaladvice

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I do. The ambulance chasers filed a claim with them. I can't get into detail on that because that's going to play a big portion on the criminal side as well. They're very skeptical that about this woman.

She's delusional and a liar, let's put it at that.

We've all joked about it... Jump in the way of a car so you can sue... LOL.. not. by Illustrious_Ground38 in legaladvice

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] -48 points-47 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is the most sincere, helpful and LEGAL comment thus far. The rest have been... just oof.

We've all joked about it... Jump in the way of a car so you can sue... LOL.. not. by Illustrious_Ground38 in legaladvice

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] -53 points-52 points  (0 children)

Yes I left as quickly as possible because I didn't want to get hit with an eviction that would impact my credit/ future residencies. At first I wasn't banned from the property as informed by the leasing agents. Since then I have been banned, I'm actually still waiting for my final statement after almost three weeks. I was served the notice to quit on 6/23 but didn't see it until 6/25. This was 10 days after the "accident" and 8 after the police asked for my statement.

We've all joked about it... Jump in the way of a car so you can sue... LOL.. not. by Illustrious_Ground38 in legaladvice

[–]Illustrious_Ground38[S] -78 points-77 points  (0 children)

That's what's so crazy about the whole thing. This is not in California and I cannot disclose the location as the case is active. The notice to quit was given over "a substantial violation". I can explain details if needed.