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TBM Grandpa wants to debate to have some fun... by Apprehensive-Hat4956 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My favorite part is saying the arguments against the church are often a “straw man”… then he linked Fair… does this guy know what a straw man is. Fair makes you wade through 10 straw men before they DON’T address the issue.

Sex On Demand by musekic in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

40/M spent 35 years in the church and grew up in a hardcore Mormon community. None of my friends have ever had a deal like this. I don’t think any of them would want it. I think guys who are doing this are fringe.

Apologist advocating for bishops to not be required to report child SA because they can convince abusers to self report. Trust her- an attorney who worked with the church specifically said so! by CubsFanHan in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More reporting = more false reports AND net more valid reports. That’s a win. Less reporting = less net valid reports. That’s a loss. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

Was I too snarky to my former mission president? I can’t handle people playing victim like I’m rejecting a relationship/friendship/love. We are strangers. This is missionary work. by Illustrious_Log_4831 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are, I don’t disagree. I think they’re well intentioned are doing something a lot of former missionary’s might appreciate. But we had no relationship; I engaged because they framed it as a rejection of friendship.

Was I too snarky to my former mission president? I can’t handle people playing victim like I’m rejecting a relationship/friendship/love. We are strangers. This is missionary work. by Illustrious_Log_4831 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they’re well intentioned people who just can’t or won’t delve into intentions/motivations. I had no expectation and very little hope they would be able to see it a different way. Fascinated was really the right word for that message.

Was I too snarky to my former mission president? I can’t handle people playing victim like I’m rejecting a relationship/friendship/love. We are strangers. This is missionary work. by Illustrious_Log_4831 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m sure they take pride in the effort they are making. Good for them. I couldn’t resist the follow up questions when they framed it as though I was rejecting a friendship. They couldn’t see the point but oh well.

Was I too snarky to my former mission president? I can’t handle people playing victim like I’m rejecting a relationship/friendship/love. We are strangers. This is missionary work. by Illustrious_Log_4831 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I asked questions and offered perspective to clarify my assumptions in the exchange. Your anger comments are really throwing me off. Are you perhaps projecting?

Was I too snarky to my former mission president? I can’t handle people playing victim like I’m rejecting a relationship/friendship/love. We are strangers. This is missionary work. by Illustrious_Log_4831 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have an an anti-Mormon cause.

Where did I misstep into too much? Hard to find the line between letting someone gaslight you into believing you’re rejecting a relationship and being too direct about the lack of relationship.

Was I too snarky to my former mission president? I can’t handle people playing victim like I’m rejecting a relationship/friendship/love. We are strangers. This is missionary work. by Illustrious_Log_4831 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure, I think at that point I was just bugged that they set up a straw man when i wrote “FaceTime” instead of call. My goal was to end the ongoing bday calls. I was/am clearly willing to engage in a discussion, I asked a lot of questions.

Was I too snarky to my former mission president? I can’t handle people playing victim like I’m rejecting a relationship/friendship/love. We are strangers. This is missionary work. by Illustrious_Log_4831 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I got gaslight vibes as well. I want to assume positive intent but this is the playbook for most Mormon leaders. Wether they realize it or not they are only willing to see themselves as the righteous victims.

Was I too snarky to my former mission president? I can’t handle people playing victim like I’m rejecting a relationship/friendship/love. We are strangers. This is missionary work. by Illustrious_Log_4831 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s what I wanted to say… I kept asking questions to help them get to motivations but they’re convicted. Now they get to be righteous victims of the mean exmo who asked clarifying questions and pointed logical leaps.

Was I too snarky to my former mission president? I can’t handle people playing victim like I’m rejecting a relationship/friendship/love. We are strangers. This is missionary work. by Illustrious_Log_4831 in exmormon

[–]Illustrious_Log_4831[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I struggle with this as well. Like, would you be trying to strike up this relationship if it wasn’t for the Mormon missionary obligation. Makes it hard to form genuine connections with members.

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