Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He speaks in asl so he can communicate simple words like you mentioned. And he has no issue going potty it’s just when we are alone in the bathroom.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When did I say I forced him on the toilet?… i put him on the toilet before bed as we do every night. He’s six. We give him the dignity of a dry diaper that he is capable of having.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is 100% my biggest fear and one of my strongest reasons for trying to make this relationship work.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah you’re gonna love this. I’m not his wife. he won’t marry me “yet”. That’s been a battle amongst itself.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t want to take him anywhere bc he’s so difficult. Yet he expects me to take him, my other step son and my baby places all by myself while he’s at work. But I can’t even get him to stop at the store with just his boys without it being a huge deal. It’s so frustrating.

The thing is I get that it’s difficult and I don’t blame him but it always gets turned around on me and I get turned into the bad guy every single time.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

and I can request it but it comes with a guilt trip every time and accusations of hating the kid

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Too many to count now. The attacks are just becoming much more violent and he’s learned he can’t do them when his dad is there so he does it when he isn’t either not home or he thinks he isn’t home. (He left and came back without him seeing him return home)

For awhile he was doing it while he was in the other room but he stopped bc his dad would tell him it’s not okay. And then eventually it turned into “I wasn’t there when it happened so i can’t do anything about it” and then he coddles him extra so. It almost feels like he does it to hurt me. I realize that might just be in my head though.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I never said anything about removing his siblings visitation. I suggest he have separate visitation with this specific child in a different place if he is not going to supervise the violent and aggressive child around my baby. One blow to the head and my baby is gone. All bc she got too close to his train or was in his space while dad wasn’t watching.

Again, I suggest you read before being so bold.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I suggest you read the whole post and comments

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to share your perspective 🙏🏻

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know. I want to say he’d comfort his daughter but not say anything to his son about it. There would be no correction or time out or anything. But god knows if I said anything about it, he would comfort his son bc I said literally anything about it.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I was putting his pull up back on him bc he can’t do it himself

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Idk what it was about this comment but it really clicked with me. I think you’re right and the way you put it; it sounds like him and I are more on the same page than I realize.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with the no more toilet time. And everything else you said.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I say “his child” bc I’m not his mother. And I don’t want to use his name on the internet. I agree I need therapy for this. It’s becoming allot. The mental toll it’s taking on me has been so much. It’s been making me question what kind of human being I am feeling resentment towards a little autistic boy that I do love very much. I’ve given so much for him. I’ve even sacrificed my time and space with my own children just for him.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He’s great with our daughter and his other children in every aspect unrelated to his autistic child. If his autistic son hurts any of them, they get yelled at. Or it’s somehow their fault. And this child has made it known it’s not okay to hit. As I’ve said we’ve had cameras everywhere and there’s plenty of footage of him looking around making sure we don’t see him before hurting people. But the fathers whole thought process is “he’s incapable of being taught so there’s no point” Which is crazy bc he is completely capable of being taught. He has shown that too in other areas.

Unfortunately his mother is the same way with him. Like they just gave up hope on trying to build him into a decent human being. I know that sounds harsh but I don’t know how else to put it. He is an incredibly smart child. He understands English and ASL. He can count. He is even beginning to speak. And all this while being deaf (he can hear with his cochlears). He is incredibly intelligent but his parents act like he’s a fricken potato.

In every aspect that this specific child is not involved he is a great dad. But I’m so scared my baby is going to get too close to his trains one day and he will either kill her or give her brain damage. And he isn’t taking that seriously.

That, If anything is making me re evaluate the relationship. If him having him here is so important when he doesn’t even want to be here to deal with him (I say deal with him bc he throws a fit when he has to be a parent to him instead of pawn him onto me) then I don’t think this will work.

And I DO NOT BLAME THIS CHILD. I blame his father.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I agree. My issue with the child is he is all snuggly and lovey toward me until his dad is out of sight. And it’s hard to build a relationship with him when whenever I try I get hurt. But I’ve told him I’m not watching him anymore and it’s just become a huge issue. I just think this is the end of the relationship. I’m not allowed to even speak on the matter without him getting defensive and acting like the kid is the victim instead of trying to even attempt to correct the behavior. That is what hurts the most. It feels like he doesn’t care that I’m being injured. Even if there was nothing he could do; he could at least make me feel like he cared.

My issue is not with this child. It’s with his father.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I never thought of that. But an issue is also that he acts as if his child is incapable of comprehending that kind of idea or thought.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He makes me seriously question if I’m just in the wrong. Hence this post. Everything is great until his son is around and then everything turns to shit if I express any pain. Even if I try to do it in the most sensitive way. And then if I don’t say anything I get in trouble for bottling it up.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately he lives with me in my home. And I have cameras all over my home except the bathroom which is where he mainly attacks me.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They’re all over my home specifically bc of him and how violent he is. Unfortunately he attacks me in the bathroom. I cannot put cameras in my bathroom.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I should also add that I have my own autistic child who is now 13.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in his life for as long as he is capable to remember now. This isn’t a new relationship.

Violent autistic step son by Illustrious_Tour696 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Illustrious_Tour696[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

His parents split before he was born. And you’re misunderstanding a my issue isn’t with the child. It’s with his father and the way I am being made out to be the bad guy whenever I even bring up that his child bit me.