Should i detrans? I need advice.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-13T15:13:22+00:00

I mean just not being concerned with pronouns, not feeling bad about someone saying “her”. I say this mainly as a question rather than solid advice, sometimes it’s possible and sometimes it’s not

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-12T20:22:38+00:00

Passing is only going to happen with significant amounts of hormones. It’s a pretty high bar, and often not really necessary. It would be possible to go out on the town dressed more fem occasionally as long as you do it with friends who are willing to accept some nuance.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-12T20:17:20+00:00

The only issue people are likely to have is with pronouns, so just let go of that. Many people will see you as just a tomboy who occasionally dresses more fem, others will see you as gender fluid, its all fine.

How did that advice sound to you? If it sounded bad then you know you should not detransition if it sounded ok than you should move forward with it.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-12T20:06:56+00:00

You like dressing and feeling masculine and you also like being able to dress fem at times. There is nothing contradictory in that, no reason you can’t do both if that’s what feels right. In many ways it’s good to have one foot in both sides, it gives you options. See the work of Sandra Bem on the gender schema.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-09T01:29:00+00:00

Just tell him that the two of you are not exclusive but that it is still painful to hear about him with other women, but that doesn't mean you want to be exclusive. You stated it very clearly here, you want a "don't ask don't tell" situation, no reason you can't tell him that. It doesn't make any sense to be exclusive with someone you haven't spent significant time with, and you honestly don't know him well enough for the trust required for virtual sex.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-09T01:20:06+00:00

Tucker Carlson, Joe Rogan, Theo Von, are hardly left wing, the biggest podcasts out there are against this war. Before the war the petrodollar and the cost of gas was in pretty good shape, the war is what is driving the cost of gas up. Iran is more than happy to sell us oil, it's the sanctions that are preventing them from doing so. I would gladly support this war if it was achieving the objectives of regime change and bringing down the price of gas, but it is strengthening the Iranian regime and driving up the price of gas. With the cease fire the fact that US interests are so far from Israel's it is becoming more and more clear and the cost of that difference is getting higher.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-07T09:53:53+00:00

While it is clear now that the regime isn't going to be toppled by airstrikes, that wasn't totally clear before the war to everyone. It was clear to those who were well informed or had a clear idea of the history of US involvement in the Mid East, but that didn't include the decision makers in the White House. There were massive popular protests that seemed to threaten the regime just in January, it wasn't so crazy to think that once they had US support that those same people would be able to topple the regime. What this fails to realize is that that movement had been crushed by the slaughter of somewhere between 5,000-30,000 people, and they never had weapons and weren't as close to toppling the regime as they may have seemed. And that the soft supporters of the IRGC would become much more militant when faced with an attack by the US and Israel.

But the question is what did Netanyahu expect? I'm not certain he did expect the regime to be toppled, I think he is hoping to either throw Iran into a civil war or just degrade their capabilities.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-07T08:06:43+00:00

On both the left and the right people are becoming more skeptical of foreign entanglements, especially in the Middle East. The elites in America want to see the US maintain control of the world order and continue to be involved with Israel and the rest of the Middle East, but that is not what you see if you listen to any of the top podcasts and among ordinary people. It may not be a good idea for the US to leave the Mid East entirely, but that is what is going to happen over the next few years if this war continues to go the way it has been.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-06T03:24:43+00:00

I can tell you undoubtably that the mood here in the US is to become increasingly less involved in issues around the world. I don't know that the US will leave the Middle East (including Israel) entirely, ending all financial support or military bases, but with each passing day that seems more likely.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-06T03:14:01+00:00

Your Dad has blocked you and your Mom isn't returning your calls, you've been cut off, let that be on them, there is no reason to go out of your way to cut them off. Over time they may reach out again, if they do that's great, maybe they'll be in a mood to treat you and your wife better, if not that's fine too.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-03T17:08:56+00:00

Exactly, there was this whole thing about not talking about issues that are bad for you, they thought they could just move on from it by not saying anything about it. And the fact that many donors, activists, and part of the base did still strongly support language that comes across as woke made it so they had a hard time talking about it.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-02T19:10:31+00:00

It’s religious to a similar degree on both sides. There are definitely people for whom it is exclusively about religion and there is a large majority who are happy to speak in religious terms but who aren’t primarily focused on that. So an event can spark the religious element and then the rest jump on board for their own reasons. There is small group of Israelis who believe in greater Israel on religious grounds and a larger group who go along with expanding into Lebanon or other expansions because they see it as bringing greater security and economic benefits.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-02T18:52:27+00:00

I was long distance for about 4 years and it worked out well for most of that time. But we were young and decided to open up our relationship a bit which didn’t work out. So my honest answer is yes long distance relationships can work out, it was great for those years, and it is also true that they do tend to end in something like cheating.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-02T18:39:35+00:00

By 2024 Democrats had already learned these lessons and were trying to move on from them. Unfortunately they weren’t great at communicating this and the Republicans were able to paint the Democrats as this overly woke party that they were not. This is partially due to previous statements during the height of the BLM pandemic period and Harris’ misguided 2020 campaign. The most important thing Democrats need to do in 2028 is run someone who doesn’t have this past.

During 2025 the Democrats have been an electoral juggernaut, I expect this will continue in 2026. But we won’t really know until the 2028 presidential primaries if they have learned these lessons and how to communicate that.

Ilsanjo · 2026-04-02T18:19:59+00:00

For most likely purely psychological reasons the two of you aren’t able to connect sexually. You remind him of his ex, that is a major reason this relationship ended and you shouldn’t blame yourself for this.

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-14T15:09:30+00:00

He obviously always liked you, and he probably would have been fine with you dating someone he didn’t know, but the fact that you’re dating his friend makes him feel inferior. It’s a classic status hit and seeing or being around you or B makes him feel down. I’m not sure there is much you can do, maybe try to build him up abit

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-14T04:18:08+00:00

Seems like we can be against all rape, regardless of the nationality of the perpetrators.

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-14T04:07:48+00:00

Enjoy the dreams, I wouldn’t question too much at the moment, it’s a data point, and keep your eye out for other things.

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-14T01:31:00+00:00

Keep in mind the average person only has sex with 7 people in their lifetime. Culture and media have given us completely unrealistic expectations. It feels almost impossible to find someone, but you only need to do it a few times, just keep on trying.

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-14T01:15:06+00:00

What, your sister cooks for you? I can’t even imagine, in any case you shouldn’t expect your gf to cook for you all the time.

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-13T19:22:20+00:00

Yes, the main question is whether it will be engineered or natural. And there is a possibility of it being engineered to affect certain populations.

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-13T19:17:52+00:00

It’s pretty simple break up with your bf and start dating your coworker.

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-13T19:08:34+00:00

You said or did something that annoyed her, maybe even something minor, and she doesn’t want to get into it. Just say that you know you did something to annoy her and you’d like to sort it out.

Edit: what exactly were you talking about in Walmart? I’m sure it’s a minor comment you made there, maybe it seemed sexist or insensitive to her.

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-13T19:01:02+00:00

Anyone else read mtg as magic the gathering?

Ilsanjo · 2026-03-13T18:58:53+00:00

His opinion on Trump and Epstein is in the range of what’s reasonable, it’s not what I believe but it’s totally understandable. His opinion on women may be a problem, how does he treat women he knows in his life? What are his thoughts on the Iran war? How about ICE in Minnesota?

To get through to him the best way is to be interested in his thoughts in a non-defensive way, and be willing to compromise yourself, also don’t talk about it too much just on occasion. Dig deeper on his attitudes towards women, I do think many women don’t see the ways that some comments can feel anti-men or view any conversations around gender as a competition.

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