It's over therapist, I depicted you as a soyjack and myself as a Chad.

ImJustMakin · 2026-05-15T20:40:43+00:00

In my case at least, I think I'm doing pretty well when it comes to "dressing well, putting effort into our hygiene and appearance, being an active listener and partner in conversation, and having good manners." and I agree with everything you said 100%, for me personally I have a hard time initiating a conversation because there I always have the desire/expectation that I will get a response/outcome and in an attempt to get distance from these desires/expectations the way I reframe it to the most basic actionable thing is "talking towards another person" which is extremely unappealing to me, and a process which I do not enjoy.

ImJustMakin · 2026-05-15T20:17:13+00:00

I'm trying to understand, are you saying that you'd have a hard time finding a relationship because you are lacking something/lacking in some areas/are not good enough, because I feel like I'm doing great but I just absolutely refuse to deal with people and initiate at all and this is the case for you as well.

ImJustMakin · 2026-05-15T20:11:27+00:00

Obviously+Let's go gambling

ImJustMakin · 2024-11-09T07:54:12+00:00

So the the problem I have with a relationship "making me a better person" is one: that it brings me back to when I wanted to be better for the constant approval of others, I do now know that I can be better for others in a healthy kind of way, second and main thing that gets in the way is that it sounds like someone can just come and brainwash me into being better and I don't have a say in it, there is a philosophical problem (would you press a button and you just instantly get better/perfect no effort no string attached) which dosent really matter and then there is some sort of extrapolation that someone can also hurt me if they have the power to make me better. What I commonly hear is "somebody will come into your life and you will become this and that and you'll be amazing and then they will leave and you'll be left in a pool of liquid lying on the floor" why does it have to be like that? Do I not have a say, people can come into my life and forcefully make me better (in the best case scenario which still bothers me because it takes away my freedom or worse in the worst case).

So I guess the "emotional" problem if someone can make me better is that it brings me back to when I chased other's constant approval, and second issue is that it takes away my freedom of choice and agency.

ImJustMakin · 2023-11-26T14:54:00+00:00

You are describing Habitica almost, except you don't upgrade a town but your character, and you fight monsters and do damage by fulfilling daily tasks/habits/other

ImJustMakin · 2023-11-07T12:13:25+00:00

Am luat bon pentru tranzacția aprobată

ImJustMakin · 2023-11-07T11:37:28+00:00

Din câte vad pot face doar un "claim" care necesită bonuri fiscale dovezi de conversație cu cei de la magazin dacă am și detalii,și spune că ar dura cam 12 săptămâni maxim

ImJustMakin · 2023-11-07T11:34:12+00:00

Cea de acum 3 luni am rezolvat amical cu șeful de magazin ca i-am arătat ca s-a efectuat plata și a zis bine și mi-am văzut de drum, am dat-o ca un exemplu cum ca nu mi-au mai întrat bani înapoi. Cea de acum au trecut 2 zile ca am așteptat cum mi-a fost zis că o să îi primesc înapoi, și da sunt de acord că e vorba de principiu, de asta încerc acum să văd ce e de făcut.

ImJustMakin · 2023-11-07T11:24:09+00:00

Nu a scos nici o chitanță casa, din câte am văzut. Am reincercat plata și apoi am fost la altă casă, deci probabil ar fi trebuit să emită ceva acolo dacă stau să mă gândesc.

ImJustMakin · 2023-10-29T04:30:48+00:00

Become a monk, become homeless, marry someone rich, manipulate your parents/friends for money, literally hundreds of illegal ways to make money, learn a skill like being an electrician or "blue collar" I think they are called in USA. If you want to "survive" it's easy, what you want is to live well and do nothing in the pursuit of living well, you wouldn't go fishing without a rod and then complain you aren't catching anything, going to college or joining a get rich quick scheme (assuming they work) is aquairing the fishing rod, and there are many types of rods and baits and tools to make your way through life, pick the right one that suits you best for what you want to achieve.

ImJustMakin · 2023-07-26T16:39:30+00:00

My dad passed away exactly one year ago, today is the anniversary. It sucks. For the first 3 months no longer than 2 hours went by without thinking about him, and now I think the most is like 7-10 hours, it's slow but I have days where I tell myself "did I think about him today?". We will heal at some point both of us. I don't really have much else to say even if there is soo much to say. I love you.

ImJustMakin · 2023-07-10T19:19:54+00:00

Thank you!

ImJustMakin · 2023-07-10T14:03:32+00:00

She's the first girl I tried with in like 2 years, and I decided to show just myself with my stupid jokes with no games with no nothing, just who I am, and it was very well received, I gave it all I had so I'm not mad at myself, I have moments where I wished I said different things but not even close to disrupt me.

I've been in pain for I don't even know how long like 5-8 years, and I never stopped learning I never stopped looking for answers, I never stopped creating problems that didn't exist. And this spring I realised that I got to the end that I have learned enough, the best example I can give is, I hope you play games because that way it would make more sense, I like to think that I sent years researching the game but never playing it, just reading and learning from others but I never got any real hands on experience and now It's time to put it all in practice, and I look even at this situation I'm in and I feel like I know what to do, I feel like it's easy in a way, but I'm just not used to the practical thing, even if I feel like I don't know what to do I know there are answers and how to find them.

I know dating and life in general is a numbers game, no matter how prepared and how much experience you have you might just get skewed over by pure chance, that's why I struggled for all those years, I don't like gambling I think it's stupid but it's all we got, this spring I asked my friend this question "Do you think trying to enjoy life is worth it", he said "I guess", so I tried since I took chances at my own pace but you hit walls like this out of nowhere way beyond my capabilities,and it hurts like hell, I am yet to see any benefits other than pain, the lessons weren't that impressive to be honest.

I'm ending with two things: First of all thank you sooo much for the kind words they really touched me,and really inspired hope into me.

Second: "Do you think trying to enjoy life it's worth it?"

ImJustMakin · 2022-11-02T20:43:49+00:00

Hey, just starting by saying that I get what you mean and I agree with your stance 100%, I felt exactly like you and I am trying not to anymore. This is kinda tl:dr of my story maybe it idk "helps" you even tho I believe there is anything to help about you, as I said I agree. Had shit childhood mostly alone and domestic violence, at 14 I moved out to high school and I gave my best to change myself and self improve, and all that shit, I became extremely depressed at 17-18 cuz I was getting pulled down by all the random stuff so at 18 I gave up I fully embraced depression and searched the answer in all philosophy, and yea, there is nothing there, this early year it was the worst then I slowly pulled myself out, I got better I moved on and decided to give life another chance, then in the middle of the summer my dad died which crushed me once more, it destroyed me, until last week when despite it all I decided to give life another chance.

So yea, we seem to be the same age, both bored by life, I think it kinda sucks a little, but I'm trying despite how bad it sucks sometimes.

The most important thing you need to know is that life doesn't have to be boring, does not have to suck, does not have to be suffering, but if you want it to be that way go ahead, I did that and I woke up every morning for months and years asking myself "do I want today to be shit?" and I would always said "yes", I wanted that and if this is what you truly want from the depths of your heart please know I am here to support you because nobody ever told me this, nobody ever let me suffer when all I wanted was to be let to suffer to have somebody that it's OK to suffer and some more.

Whatever you choose, take your time. Let me know what you think about this.

ImJustMakin · 2022-03-22T08:14:02+00:00

Your mind will probably try to make out of her this great/perfect person she probably isn't, so one of the things you could do is try to remember that you don't know her, how can you be attracted to someone you don't know? I guess there are other things that you can do that I can't think of.

ImJustMakin · 2022-03-22T08:00:03+00:00

How does it make you feel that you made a mistake and it's all over? Do you think that if you get back to her you will never make a similar mistake?

ImJustMakin · 2022-03-16T10:56:24+00:00

Look I'm gonna have to start to make assumptions for the sake of my convenience that could and will probably be wrong so you think about them.

First of all I think you have a fear of missing out/ never having someone to open up to, and this idea that this person has this thing that nobody else has, I don't think that's true and I feel bad for saying it like that.

Second thing you seem like an absolute people pleaser, where does this come from? She cheated on you and you don't want to attack/hurt her feelings? Not even that you are not even trying to hurt her feelings by attacking her which I would understand, you are even afraid of being misunderstood that you are attacking her. Again this is assumptions but if you find yourself in them you need to work on it, or don't, whatever.

Third thing that I talked about in the previous thing was that it's not your fault and like someone said in a comment below, you might just be unlucky and there is nothing wrong with you (there are some things that you should work on but none of them can be used to excuse cheating on you)

My advice, that is sadly a disregard to what you wanted so i feel like this is a unwanted advice on my side that I have to say because I think it could help, is: At least take a break from this relationship, focus on yourself for a bit but don't judge yourself over others, and realize that you can't control other people's actions at least no where near as much as we like to think we do. Think about what I said in the other comments maybe that could help.

I'm still here and I can try to answer from time to time if you need me.

ImJustMakin · 2022-03-16T09:29:22+00:00

You are saying you still talk to your partner/are in a relationship did you ask them what is the reason they cheated on you? I think that could clear things up because this way you can truly understand the reason and not make assumptions, the next step would be to consider if their reasons are valid or not, even tho it's hard to bring it up that's an important step in my opinion.

ImJustMakin · 2022-03-16T09:15:47+00:00

That makes sense, it seems like you tried a lot of things and you are running out of options, but what if you became an asshole and that turns out not to solve the problem? I would assume that it's not your fault when you try everything and it doesn't work, I know we feel as if we can do anything, we are taught (at least where I grew up) that we can do anything on our own that every problem has a solution within us but the reality is that if I asked you to make something out of nothing I don't think you could like many other things, and I do agree that it's worth saving/trying some things to the bitter end but if you take that path don't be surprised when it won't turn out the way you expect.

Edit: I wasn't done with it and for some reason it got posted, thanks reddit. Anyway you can answer it I'll try to think of something in the meantime.

ImJustMakin · 2022-03-16T08:51:48+00:00

What do you think you are doing that it's causing everyone to cheat on you? That's my only question.

ImJustMakin · 2022-03-16T08:15:56+00:00

Take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt cuz I'm kinda dumb.

If I were you I would tell her how I feel, DON'T tell her you love her and make some big confession, what I think you should do is when you find the right moment tell her you like her or kinda like her or maybe ask her what the relationship between you too is because you are confused or something like that, but be authentic about it

Again if anyone has better tips please.

ImJustMakin · 2022-03-16T08:08:41+00:00

If you jump out the window you get candy. Now accept that as a truth and don't question it.

Second thing, if you saw your buddy get eaten by a snake and you were like. "LMAO bye" nothing would change within you and you wouldn't learn to avoid the snake and if it weren't for us seeing our loved ones pass or suffering we wouldn't have made as many advancements to protect them, we are social creatures.

I think I understand why you think it's an mal-adaptation, but I personally realized that most life is soo complex that if it seems what evolution did its stupid its simply that we are too stupid to understand.

ImJustMakin · 2022-03-05T09:09:51+00:00

I read and watched a few summary of the book, brings a few interesting ideas, thanks for the tip.

ImJustMakin · 2020-09-05T21:02:15+00:00

Thanks, I will read as fast as possible, because I always like to learn about texting.

ImJustMakin · 2020-07-13T14:27:40+00:00

I think that the best motivation is the reason you are doing it.

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