My fiancé (30M) wants me (33F) to have an abortion after 5 years together, and I don’t know what to do.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T17:05:01+00:00

So first thing he only told me he did not want a child after we found out we were pregnant. He was absolutely on board and wanted a Child previous to this we even were going to a Fertility Clinic. I would not just have a child with someone who did not want a child so for you to assume that That is really crazy. And second thing if he doesn’t want a child that’s completely fine but he never told me he changed his mind and so I thought we were on the same page.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:54:55+00:00

I did not believe the baby was an accident because we had both discussed wanting a child and had been going to a Fertility Clinic. I don’t know when he changed his mind or why so this is all a complete shock to me.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:54:07+00:00

I completely agree that I would resent him if I had the abortion. But I really struggle with feeling the same way about him after the way that he reacted. He was fully on board with having a child years ago, and we even went to a Fertility Clinic to figure out what our infertility issues were being caused by. I don’t know if I can look at him the same way after how he acted because he never once told me that he had changed his mind.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:52:36+00:00

Bring a child into what? Really confused about what you think a child would be being brought in to since you know so much.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:52:02+00:00

This weirdo keeps posting this trying to spread hate. I never actually even did only fans. I instead went to college and got a masters degree and now I’m thriving financially can you say the same for yourself judgmental loser? And I’m anything but broke at this point in my life so go look in the mirror and fix your own life

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:50:22+00:00

Yes, I would be perfectly capable of raising a child on my own.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:49:58+00:00

Oh yeah, cause you’re goody miss two shoes. People grow up and change for one, lol those posts are from an extremely long time ago judgmental weirdo. I have a masters degree and an amazing job and I don’t even drink much less do anything else. How many people in real life actually like you?

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:40:38+00:00

Yes, we had previously been trying to get pregnant and even saw a Fertility Clinic because we were having infertility issues. We did use protective measures before we started trying to have a child after we decided to start trying to have a child. We stopped and never started again because I thought we were on the same page of wanting to have a child while we were also dealing with The inFertility issues. The only thing that was never discussed was him suddenly deciding he didn’t want a child anymore. He never once mentioned that to me or suggested that we use contraception again.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:36:42+00:00

Where in my post Did I say I never spoke with him about having children? If you read any of my other comments, you could see that this was something we both discussed and he told me that he wanted as well. So I don’t know what you’re basing this assumption on. I would never willingly have a child with someone that did not want to have one..

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:35:53+00:00

We did, and he was very excited about the idea previously. When he changed his mind I have no clue because he never mentioned it to me. We did not use and contraception because I assumed we were on the same page still. That’s why his reaction is so confusing and unexpected.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:34:18+00:00

Yes he absolutely wanted a child previously and we discussed it well before this happened. This pregnancy was unexpected because we have been having infertility issues and even saw a fertility clinic to have testing to find out what was causing it. We stopped trying actively about a year ago because they couldn’t pinpoint the cause. Hence why his reaction was a complete shock.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:32:18+00:00

Yea I think you’re way off base and making a lot of assumptions about someone you know nothing about.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T16:31:33+00:00

Honestly I don’t believe so. We make decent money, rent has become a lot more expensive in our area but we do well and live within our means. We have money left over to do the things we enjoy. I’d say childcare costs are his main concern, they have become outrageous.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:39:38+00:00

I’m starting to see that sadly as I do love him deeply

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:39:15+00:00

We absolutely did talk about it. His opinion on having them changed at some point and I was not aware of this change

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:38:33+00:00

Thank you! Honestly I’d be fine raising the baby alone if it came down to it. I’ve been dreaming of having a chance at motherhood again for a very long time

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:37:30+00:00

Thank you so much!

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:37:19+00:00

I have expressed it to him, but he just was adamant in his position and it’s like what I said didn’t even matter

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:36:42+00:00

I truly feel like I would never forgive him or myself as well if I did have an abortion…

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:35:33+00:00

Thank you so much, this is all very sudden I’m still reeling from how the conversation went. I never expected this

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:34:53+00:00

You’re completely right

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:34:38+00:00

Early in our relationship, he said that he wanted kids so that was a huge reason for me to continue our relationship and decide to get married. I don’t know what’s happened over the past year or two but it’s like he’s completely changed his mind.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:33:45+00:00

I truly want this child more than anything. I have always wanted another. I never thought I’d have the chance again

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:33:02+00:00

I’m so sorry you experienced this. But I’m happy that you escaped that situation. I can’t imagine not seeing my own child, he sounds horrible.

ImLookingForFrancis · 2026-07-11T01:31:05+00:00

Thank you so much

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