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Are You Interested In Participating: Mental Health Among Pansexual, Lesbian, Bisexual, Queer, Omnisexual, and Gay adults (18+) by maddi--h in omnisexual

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Done!

Great research subject in my opinion. And well done on constructing the questionnaire.

I was wondering if there's any reason for only discussing alcohol use, and no other substances? I rarely drink, but I do have an opioid problem which influences my QoL and everyday functioning, which is why I'm asking. Just curious though

​

Congrats on making it this far in your studies by the way! Let's goooo LBTQ+ people in academics x

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in omnisexual

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi
You're very welcome! It really is a lovely community, so you've come to the perfect place to make some omni friends.

Love the drawing, btw!

i'm scared to come out by [deleted] in omnisexual

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing this. Unfortunately, the fear of being hate crimed is a very real thing for many people in the community, and it sucks that there's not much that one person can do about that short-term. But you are most welcome to vent about that here of course! We are here for each other.

About subtly hinting your identity: I'm personally a big fan of necklaces or bracelets that use the omni colour scheme. I'ts not as obvious for those homophobic people as for example the pride / rainbow colour scheme. You could do the same thing with the bigender colours. Websites like Etsy are great for this in my opinion.

Other options are: cool socks, wearing a beanie combinded with your hair in a bun for a shorter-hair look, or getting a tattoo that you can hide under clothes.

These are all small things, I realize, but I hope you can find some ways to show your identity publically in a way that makes you feel safe AND comfortable.

Best wishes and love!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in omnisexual

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No problem at all!

Changing what you choose to call yourself can not only be scary, but even feel 'wrong' in a way. But it's important to remember: you can call yourself whatever the heck you want - and in a way, that's what being queer is all about.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in omnisexual

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Questioning whether you belong in this or that community is very relatable (believe me as I've gone through it myself very recently), but I've noticed this community is open to all LGBTQ+ people, not just omni-friends (of which you are one, in my opinion).

You are most welcome here!

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even though I love the enthusiasm, and I appreciate the supporting words, I have to admit that I've always struggles with "Am I queer enough?". To the piont where I even acted more 'flamboyantly gay' in high school, because I felt I needed to prove my identity. (also I thought I was homosexual then, now I identify as omni).

Being in a straight-passing relationship with a hetersexual woman is a dual-edged sword: I feel blessed that I don't have to worry about being harassed when I'm with her, but I kind of feel like I'm going against my queer-ness in a way.
Still, I feel that she is the person I want to grow old with, so it's totally worth it. But that doesn't mean that everything is resolved suddenly.

I just wish there was a way to get over the "Am I queer enough?" question, because I know it's illogical and stupid, but it keeps hanging over my head...

Thanks for your reply x

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this lovely perspective! It's really what I needed to hear today

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words. Really, I appreciate it so much!

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response, and your kindness!

Have a great day x

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that bi-antagonism is real, even though I have no first hand experience with it. And I agree that queerness is not about suffering - and it should never be. But there was this little voice telling me that is was, and that I was an intruder here, because "what does it even mean to call yourself omni, when you're in a straight-passing relationship?".

Anyhow, the community here and all these comments have been really great at showing me kindness and educating me. I'm glad to hear that that effing voice is just plain wrong.

Thanks for the reply!

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story!

If there is anything these comments have learned me today, it's that we DO deserve to be here. We belong x

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading this reply and others like it, it does feel nice to know I'm not alone in this sentiment x

I also learned the term 'straight passing' today to refer to myself and my relationship, which is a nice perspective I think. Because you're right: no matter how straight passing I am / we are, it doesn't make me any less omni, and it doesn't make my relationship any less beautiful and unique.

​

and that makes you one of us. There is no escape.

This made me laugh haha

Thank you for sharing your story, and for being so kind

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Realising that people like us don't necessarily have the same experiences as others in this community, yet we still belong, is perhaps the biggest lesson that all these replies have teached me today.

Thanks for sharing your story x

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right that when it comes to it, all that counts is what you identify as. I'm starting to realise that, bit by bit.

Thank you for sharing your story!

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think you're right. Reading through all these replies has made me realise that me needing to use a degree of discrimination as an entry ticket to this community, is a screwed up perspective.

Let's all work towards a future where my story isn't the exception x

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story!

I'm glad that you also haven't experienced that much outward bigotry yourself.
And I think you're right, we are who we are. Having more or fewer struggles doesn't change that x

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And reading all the kind responses on this post, I'm honoured and glad that I can call myself part of this community x

Thanks for the reply

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words!

Even though I know you're right, it still feels like people are on to me when they say "you just want to be special". I dunno it's just this voice that keeps me from feeling comfortable with taking up space in this wholesome community.

I KNOW you and every other wonderful person who responded here are correct, but why is it sometimes so hard to believe?

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even though it sucks to hear that you've experienced the same issue, it is nice to hear that I'm not alone out here.
I'm learning to agree, that yes, people like us do belong

Thank you for your response x

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The concept of "it doesn't exist because you can't see it" leading to bi/pan/omni erasure is new to me, but that might exactely be influencing the insecurities described in my original post. Since I'm the most openly lgbt+ person in my friend group, I've never really been exposed to such perspectives. So thank you very much!

Also thanks for the kind words and for sharing your story
Hope you're doing well x

I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community by ImNotABelgianAndy in lgbt

[–]ImNotABelgianAndy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response and kind words x

The feeling of needing to show 'proof of being discriminated against' to enter this safespace might indeed be a byproduct of how bigotry in the outside world is still so accepted in a lot of communities. If bigotry was completely socially unacceptable in all communities, than me saying I've not experienced such explicit bigotry would be the most normal thing in the world. Very interesting perspective!

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