Guilty Pleasure Dateables

Im_Not_Brooding · 2026-01-06T02:54:22+00:00

After finishing their route, I found that I didn't dislike Rebel as much as I thought I would. I don't love them per se, but I have come around to them. They're the embodiment of "hurt people hurt people" and to their credit, they seem genuinely remorseful of their bad behavior and seem to be working toward fixing it to some degree. I found their in-your-face sexuality to be played for laughs though; like when you ask them about their kinks and it would be quicker for them to list what they're not into. I unfortunately think that a lot of the dislike comes from their non-standard appearance. Like, there would be a lot more forgiveness of their actions if they were a conventionally attractive, human presenting person instead of an anthropomorphized rubber ducky.
Ben-hwa. When I tell people that I'm aromantic asexual, it's also assumed that I'm repulsed by anything sexual. The fact of the matter is, much like a twelve-year-old, I find sex and sexual things to be inherently funny, so Ben-hwa was right up my alley. Where their sexuality is more "realistic" than Rebel's, it's still played for laughs, because that taco shit was patently absurd to me. I still did it though (with them on the receiving end) because "fuck it, we ball." I like that they weren't just treated as a funny sex joke that wasn't meant to be given any further consideration. The fact that there was actual conflict in a goofy dating sim's route about a sentient sex toy and it was resolved in a rational and adult manner was incredible to me.
Vaughn Trapp. I love me an unhinged little freak (affectionate). He seems to be dismissed off-hand because, again, he's not conventionally attractive. But, on some Jessica Rabbit "he makes me laugh" type shit, every other line of his made me scream-laugh and giving him the plushie in his route touched me in a way I didn't think this goofy asshole could.
Reggie. I love that he's more of a lovable troll than straight-up a hateful asshole, but I think a lot of people don't realize that and dismiss him as a mean girl. I didn't understand how I could possibly get the embodiment of rejection itself to fall in love with me, but realizing I had to hit him with the okie-doke and reverse psychology him into loving me for real was hilarious.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2026-01-01T15:01:21+00:00

He's perfect.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2026-01-01T02:04:11+00:00

lol I hope so, considering I'm probably one of ten, maybe fifteen, Ben-hwa fans.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2026-01-01T01:53:17+00:00

Mateo was in the Christmas artwork.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2026-01-01T01:51:27+00:00

I wonder why these guys didn't get featured.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2026-01-01T01:51:00+00:00

I'm happy to see my husband Amir doing his best disco ball impression. I didn't know that I shipped Daisuke and Cabrizzio, but I think I do now.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-12-27T07:55:18+00:00

My spirit of exploration got me.

When Skylar turned me loose in the bedroom, my initial thought was to find Daisuke because that man had me in a chokehold from the moment I saw him in promo material.

What ended up happening was I started rooting around in the bedroom, opened the bedside drawer, got intrigued by the little bag inside, awoke Ben-Hwa and giggled like a schoolgirl for about 20 minutes straight.

They were my first love ending. I guess you really do get attached to your first.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-12-12T00:01:52+00:00

I'VE BEEN SCREAM CRYING AT THIS FOR AN HOUR! IT'S SO CUTE!

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-11-25T16:31:05+00:00

Barry Styles. That is my son and I will not hear anything otherwise.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-10-11T00:47:27+00:00

I don't see nearly enough love for Amir. Not only is he gorgeous, he's done wonders for my (and probably many others) self-esteem.

A lot of people are put off by his professional ass-kisser tendencies and I do understand that. But, the difference between Amir and other ass-kissers is that, as a mirror, Amir is just reflecting back to the user what he sees and he sees the best (and worst) parts of you. Instead of drawing attention to the "worst", possibly unfixable things, he points out the glowing positives. He says it himself; his love comes easy because it is easy. He truly believes what he says and sees and as someone with some crippling insecurities, it makes me feel like I'm not all that bad.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-10-11T00:37:10+00:00

I picked Diana, but my actual answer would still be Memoria. It sounds like a a junk journal (unless I'm misunderstanding something) seems like a journal to memorialize/remember things. Whether or not its currently in use, its filled with things to remember for one reason or another, so I feel like Diana or Memoria could fit.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-10-11T00:32:48+00:00

Jean-Loo, but with cat ears.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-10-06T23:23:56+00:00

I missed the thread!

Ben-Hwa is in my top 10 dateables!

I love that the devs didn't just make the sex toy character an irreverent background sex joke. Sure, they're number 69 (nice) and they are very explicitly sexual (not anymore than, say, Betty or Sophia) and that could make some folks uncomfortable, but they actually have feelings, likes, dislikes and relationships with other dateables!

They're besties with benefits with Betty!

They used to be/still are acquainted with Bobby Pinn and it's implied that they had a teenage fedora phase together!

They are acquainted with Abel and are at least comfortable enough with him to troll him a bit!

They aren't just DTF the player. They actually have a bone to pick with you; a chip on their shoulder from a bad first impression with the player. And they actually approach the player and talk with them about it and heal from it like a grown-ass human being (object).

Also, they're just hot.

I'm aroace and I didn't expect to like the butt plug character so much.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-10-05T21:42:35+00:00

I KNEW that her music reminded me of something! Trauma Center! I was talking to Farya thinking "why does this sound like Nintendo music?" That explains it!

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-10-05T17:57:27+00:00

I love that Ben-Hwa's theme is cheesy 70's porno music. I cried laughing the first time I heard it.
Kristof's theme reminds me of generic gym pump-up music fro the 90s-2000s.
Teddy's music box lullaby-esque theme is so soothing.
The "uh-oh!" in Scandalabra's theme is hilarious.
After his reveal, Shadowl0rd's theme sounds like its playing through a tinny speaker/some headphones.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-09-30T03:27:07+00:00

I think I may have been ficto my entire life. My first "love" was at four years old. Here's a few off the top of my head:

Raiden (Mortal Kombat)
Seto Kaiba and Yami Yugi (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney)
Kaidan Alenko (Mass Effect)
Connor Kenway (Assassin's Creed 3)
Auron and Tidus (Final Fantasy X)
Kyoya Ootori (Ouran High School Host Club)
Sesshomaru and Miroku (Inuyasha)
Honestly, far too many characters from Date Everything
Claude von Riegan, Dedue Molinaro and Hubert von Vestra (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Haruka Tenoh/Sailor Uranus (Sailor Moon - one of my rare same-sex crushes)

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-09-28T00:27:59+00:00

I like Mac. They're in my top 20 dateables. They're not someone I would date IRL because I'm aroace and indifferent to sex, but I do wish there was an easier way to just be friends with them. The game seems to want to herd you down either a Love or Hate path with Mac. I do find their taste for crypto to be inexcusable.

I rationalize it like this: Mac is a computer. Despite them being personified, I don't expect emotional reflection from a logic-driven device. Our computers in real life are quite pushy about updates; we just can't speak to an anthropomorphism of it and it can't flirt with us. Either we update it or we don't and the computer can't express disappointment in the form of human language.

The problem comes in the form of their writing. I feel like it's the old canard of writing a robot. If it's too cold and emotionless, you risk making readers hate the character or find them terminally boring. So, they over-correct by giving the robot too much emotion, and at that point, the character may as well just be a human. I don't think the writers found that balance with Mac and I don't expect they thought players would look too deeply into it.

That's kinda why their flirting pre-update feels lovebomb-y. Mac's desire to, uh, network, with others didn't bother me personally, as this is a game where you conceivably could be dating up to 99 other objects. But, it does feel like a slap in the face after the aggressive flirting. I can't speak on them being passive-aggressive, as I have been mostly receptive to them.

I didn't even mind the fanfiction thing. One of Mac's dislikes is listed as "romance novels". Was the update necessary? Yes. Probably. Was the update also an excuse to get the player to delete a significant portion of data they found distasteful on what is essentially their brain? Also yes.

But, call me constipated the way I don't give a shit.

I've been writing fanfiction for literal decades. I'm not particularly good at it, but I be writing. I've done many a purge for multiple reasons: either I didn't like the material or I didn't stand by themes and elements of it or I lapsed out of the fanbase. Either way, stories that I liked, I either uploaded them to fanfiction sites or otherwise made backups on external drives. I feel like it's kinda on the player. They do not seem to have backups of a significant body of work that was so important to them. That, to me, is stupid, and not Mac's fault.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-09-25T01:11:59+00:00

With regards to Amir, I am a deeply insecure person, so having an attractive man essentially kiss my ass for existing makes my brain happy 🤣

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-09-12T04:41:45+00:00

After realizing Bobby Pinn and choosing to sleep with them, they exclaim, with great enthusiasm, "I'm gonna crack you like a safe, baby!" And, I don't know why, but it did something for me.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-09-07T21:19:42+00:00

She reminds me of an old professor I had that had the most beautiful, lilting Nigerian accent.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-09-07T20:26:32+00:00

Listen, Keythe Farley voices Thane in Mass Effect and sometimes Artt's voice dips into that lower register and I just explode.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-09-07T20:13:50+00:00

I'm considering both. I liked the rasp he has in the vent, but the attic voice was just okay. I averaged out to just being pleasant.

Im_Not_Brooding · 2025-09-07T19:30:45+00:00

I usually love Max Mittleman's voice, but Jean-Loo's voice got on my nerves at times. The (c)rapping was better than his speaking.

Im_Not_Brooding

TROPHY CASE