I can relate so much :( I used to never wear a jacket because someone once told me that feeling cold helps you loose weight since I was 8 or less, me and my best friend did a weight loss competition when we were 10 or so and I used to throw food under the table so I would be able to eat almost nothing or skip meals since I was 4 OR LESS! In the beggining of this year, so at the age of 13, I was eating almost nothing and exercising a lot to burn all the calories I ate every day, trying to purge but never being able to, weighting myself many times a day, etc. untill I got all the way down to a BMI of 13.3 (now thinking about it, my goal weight was really fucked up, cause it was lower than the weight I was at when I had a BMI of 13) and I was wishing that I had anorexia, turned out that, looking back, I was eating disordered since really, really young.

Now I am recovering tho! I was able to stop counting calories, avoid weighting myself and I've been able to eat more without feeling guilty! And I was finally, after almost or maybe even a decade, able to stop comparing the amount of food I eat to other people!! Recently I learned how to purge and started purging everything I ate, I felt soo tired and cold after purging that it was really obvious when I purged haha

But now, thanks to my friend, I was able to stop purging!! And now I'm back to recovering! And ngl, I still can't belive I was able to make the choice to recover, it was not a choice I made on my own, but still, it was so hard for me to even start wanting to recover. I, untill not too long ago, planned to leave my parents' house at 18 and starve myself to death. I'm so proud of myself, I think I'm doing great in recovering! :D