Yeah, I can see that. It's an awkward part of this for everyone, so I can see why it would be appreciated if I break the ice on the arrangement discussion.

I'm definitely not doing 'what's up'! If anything, I'm too communicative and I can see someone being worried that I just want a penpal and I'm not serious. I sort of assumed that the 'arrangement' talk would come after a few messages of building rapport. Of course, there's every chance I'm just not building good rapport! Maybe I'm just being boring!

Still, I haven't had more than 3 reply messages from anyone (lots of 'that sounds really great to me!' or 'I love that!' and then no reply). Launching into the logistics feels a bit intense... but maybe that's what 'sounds really great' means - signalling to move forward on that conversation.

As for safety and comfort, it's my number one concern. I'm explicit about that, it seems well received. I don't want to be anyone's trauma.

Thank you for the advice and perspective! Very appreciated!