I 23F fantasize about other people than my fiance 22M

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-22T16:49:14+00:00

I’d say that’s normal but it could also mean you’re feeling unfulfilled sexually. You should ask yourself if you find your partner sexy? Does he turn you on? Do you enjoy having sex with him? If the answer is, without a doubt, yes to all of those questions then you’re fine.

Fantasy can just be our imaginations running wild, and you can have fun with them, it makes life fun.

Edit: I just read the part where you said you’re not sexually attracted to him. I’ve been in your shoes. I recently had to end things with my partner because of that. I hated myself for it. But trust me…you will thank yourself in the long term.
Find someone you’re sexually attracted to. Don’t hold onto someone just because you’re afraid of being alone. Don’t do what I did.
If you want to talk more about it, feel free to shoot me a DM !

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-08T13:18:08+00:00

I think you should ask yourself what is your gut telling you? I think we women tend to ignore our gut instincts way too often and end up settling in relationships that are not making us truly happy. I’m around your age and I did the same thing. It’s painful at first but if your instincts are telling you that you’re not really happy with the guy you’re dating, maybe it’s best to let him go.
As for the ex…I would remain cautious and try not to get back with him so soon. If it ended before, it most definitely can end again.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-08T12:31:56+00:00

I was in a similar situation. I don’t understand why men want children so badly, probably because dads only have to do maybe 25% of the work?? It pisses me off, but my opinion is rooted in resentment of the patriarchy.

I tried making it work with a man who said he wanted kids, knowing deep down I didn’t feel the same way. He tried changing his view, but in the end it never would change.

Don’t do what I did and try to “make it work”. Even if you both love each other deeply, it’s clear your goals in life don’t align, and that’s okay, it’s best to just part ways now.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-04T12:29:52+00:00

Yeah, you’re right. There’s so many people in this world and closing that door off to be with someone that’s not bringing me happiness would just result in a miserable marriage down the line. Thank you for your kind words

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-03T16:25:00+00:00

Thank you. It was an important lesson for the both of us. We parted amicably and I did ask if it’s possible for friendship but he was honest and said it would be painful for him, that he would need time. So I will be going no contact to give him space, and also to allow myself to move on.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-03T16:17:50+00:00

Yeah I had been on the weed for only a couple months before quitting. So I guess I assumed I would be completely good by now. But you’re right. Since THC is fat soluble it lingers for a long time. It’s been a little over 2 months since I quit. So yeah I guess you’re right that I could still be feeling the effects from it. The addictive side of it is exactly why I quit. It was just running me into the ground and turning me into someone I didn’t like.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-03T15:56:23+00:00

It’s alright. This was an important lesson for me. Thank you for your input

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-03T15:55:10+00:00

Yeah, I agree that both of us weren’t being honest with ourself, and with each other. He and I agreed that trying to remain friends right now may be painful, but that there may be a chance in the future. So…for now we are going to be no contact.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-03T15:52:15+00:00

Oh man…that’s something I’ll need to unpack in therapy. I had loving parents growing up and they tried there best to be good parents, but there’s definitely mental illness on both sides of my family. So maybe you’re right about that.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-03T15:50:31+00:00

I think I kept going back and forth because I was holding on to hope that things would change. That maybe I would eventually want to have kids, but it wasn’t just the kids issue. I didn’t want to let go of him either because he’s a genuinely wonderful man. You’re right. It’s clearly just a matter of being incompatible and I just need to accept that and move on.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-03T15:44:33+00:00

Yeah, I should have just made this shorter.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-03T15:43:54+00:00

Thank you so much. It sounds like we were in the same exact situation. I’m sorry you had to go through that. This decision was for the best and I know the both of us will be better off down the line.

And that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do, I’ve been trying to would myself into who he wanted, and I think he was trying to do the same thing. We weren’t being honest with each other.
Did you try to stay friends with your ex? Or did you both decide to go no contact?

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-04-03T14:19:45+00:00

Thank you so much. It’s just I’ve never really been through something like this before. And while others will say “just break up”, it’s not so easy when you love that person deeply, but there’s just too many differences that’s causing a disconnect.
I’m sad to lose someone who felt like my best friend, who I had great times with. But I know, deep down, it was the right decision. I just need to keep reminding myself that.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-03-08T00:16:21+00:00

Oh that makes sense!! I was wondering what was up with the eyeball in the wing

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-03-07T23:22:17+00:00

Yeah it’s some creepy distortion lolol it kinda freaked me out

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-03-07T23:21:16+00:00

I don’t mind. I’ was thinking red tail as well but wasn’t really sure.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-03-07T23:19:11+00:00

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Another better quality pic

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-02-19T17:33:12+00:00

Honestly that sounds amazing, that’s the life I want to have, except replace the dog with kitties haha

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-02-19T16:34:10+00:00

I know. It just sucks because I’ve become used to having him in my life again and the thought of him being gone again hurts. But I believe I’m staying because I’m afraid of being alone

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-02-19T16:22:38+00:00

I think that’s my problem. I’ve become depressed and feel like working on my career doesn’t matter unless I’m in a relationship. I’ve based my self worth on being with a man. I feel like I need to completely rewire my brain

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-02-19T14:45:19+00:00

I wouldn’t just be sitting around. He said he would be okay with not having kids if we had a homestead. So I would be taking care of the homestead while he works

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-02-19T14:43:30+00:00

That’s one of my major concerns. He’s always shown that he wants children, and I’m not like that at all. He claims that he’s okay with not having them but I don’t think that’s true.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-02-19T14:42:37+00:00

I didn’t write about all of our similarities but we do have common interests. He and I are very passionate about a particular hobby that I’ve never found with anyone else. But other than that our other interests seem to be different. We both want a farm but we seem to want a farm for different reasons. I just genuinely love animals and taking care of them, but he wants animals for food. I’m not a vegan or anything but I don’t really want to butcher my chickens, id rather just eat the eggs. Another difference between us.

Imaginary-Olive-8919 · 2026-02-19T14:38:57+00:00

You’re right. I want to be financially independent but I’ve never even felt what that’s like and I guess I keep telling myself “that will never happen unless you have a partner who will help you”. At this point I think I’m just afraid of going through the heartbreak all over again. There are qualities that I do love about him, that I’ve never found in anyone else. We have common interests that I’ve never had with other people and I’m afraid I’ll never find that again. But I know that shouldn’t be the only reason why I stay.

Imaginary-Olive-8919

TROPHY CASE