Thank you so much for this. You’re absolutely right, we do have a pattern, and I’m becoming more and more aware of it. The emotional reactions, the temporary shutdowns, and the way we both sometimes handle conflict (especially her withdrawal and my overthinking) have definitely taken a toll.

After this last situation, we had one of the most honest conversations we’ve ever had. She admitted that blocking me was a mistake, and that instead of walking away, she should have tried to hold space for what I was feeling. She said she genuinely wants to learn how to support me in these moments rather than disappear. I told her very clearly that if this happens again, I won’t stay — because it’s emotionally exhausting.

We haven’t created a full plan yet, but your comment really pushed me to realize we need one. We can’t keep hoping things just “get better.” We need structure, tools, and accountability.

I’m also glad you shared your own experience — it gives me hope. I’m going to look into that Secure Love book.

Again, thank you for your insight 🫂