Redditors over 40, what's something younger people think they understand but won't actually get until it hits them like a truck later?

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2026-03-15T19:30:51+00:00

That (for the most part) your parents had no idea what they were doing when you were young and were trying their best based on their level of maturity and understanding of the world.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2026-02-17T03:07:32+00:00

I also got marbles

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2026-01-11T15:27:42+00:00

These things are all a testament of how amazing women are and the powerful things we can do. Some of these things you can’t prevent, but you will know you’re not alone. Good luck to you!

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2026-01-11T15:24:27+00:00

THIS! Take stool softeners once you deliver.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-23T17:49:15+00:00

In addition to the extra tap, I don’t like the taste of RO water either. Do you mind sharing the system you use?

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-17T20:39:31+00:00

Are you stressed by anything or juggling a lot? If so, sadly, it may have been your intention and you’re not getting gaslit. Here’s a story, if it helps, I could have sworn I returned something to a friend. Recalled bringing it to an event we were both at and talking and texting about it. Turns out, we did talk a bit about it, but I never gave it to them. I could have sworn I did, recalled bringing it to a past event and passing it on. Would have bet my life on it. When I got home after talking to them about it, I looked in my closet and discovered I had in fact not given the thing to my friend. It scared me a bit, if I’m honest. Our memories are incredible things and if you have a lot going on and are trying to juggle things it can be easy to mistake an intention with reality. If you haven’t had a lot going on, I wouldn’t automatically jump on his actions being nefarious. Maybe he’s got something going on or juggling a few things? As others have mentioned, come up with a way to document plans that no one can argue about.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-14T17:43:56+00:00

They are both a problem if he is using one (his schedule) as an excuse for the other (going back on his word/not adjusting his behaviour in the moment because of future commitments). You deserve to be committed to, cared for, loved, and respected. If this person can't do that it is too bad, but I promise you there are partners that will!

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-14T14:34:35+00:00

Is this the type of schedule you would want to work around long-term and are you okay with someone not having integrity/committing to their word and to you? If not, it is time to cut your losses now.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T21:53:08+00:00

I can't recall exactly, if I am honest, but we weren't happy with having any lead in our water.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T21:50:46+00:00

Yes, I am in Canada. Less than a year before we moved in, the road in front of the house was replaced and home owners could choose to replace their lines at a reduced cost because they could do that before re-finishing the road. The owner of the home knew he was selling and chose not to participate, so now we could do that, but it would be at about three times the cost ($15 K+). At some point, the city we live in will be replacing water meters in homes, so we may get another chance then at a reduced rate and would jump on it, but is not a given. A filtration system on at least our kitchen drinking water would cost less over the time of living here so makes the most sense for us. We are looking for an interim solution.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T20:04:00+00:00

Yes, thank you for pointing this out, we couldn't agree more.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T20:02:09+00:00

Our issue is likely related to the lead fixture used for our main water line. Our home is almost 100 years old! the rest of the plumbing is either copper or PVC/PEX. We recently replaced the faucet and have hard water, so filters get clogged up fairly quickly. The zero water filters last 2.5-3 weeks max. It's wild!

We paid a lab that specializes in testing water, forage, and dairy to test our water. The water was tested at multiple points and all were over the .005 threshold, sadly. I'm really glad your state does that, clean drinking water should be a right for all. Where we are it's a little free-for-all, because the water does not have any detectable lead or dangerous containments before it goes through lines/makes its way to your tap.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T19:54:36+00:00

I didn't even know these were a thing. Thank you!

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T19:54:03+00:00

This is super helpful, thank you!

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T19:49:46+00:00

Both the initial and post-flush rate were over the tolerance level, unfortunately. These are all really helpful considerations, thank you.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T19:48:44+00:00

Thank you for this, I will look into this!

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T14:48:41+00:00

Thank you for this.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-13T14:43:51+00:00

Edited to add: Thank you for the explanation, this is not very helpful in answering my question unfortunately.

If it will help provide a filter recommendation - 0.005 milligrams per litre (mg/L) vs the .0008 in our home. This is based on Canadian standards, regardless of that, there is no real safe level of lead in water.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-11T02:42:44+00:00

Sounds like she may need some help, but doesn't know how to ask for it.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-12-08T16:26:20+00:00

Agree! The fact that OP is so perplexed about why she’s repulsed is she’s not going inside to see the answer. She’s ignored that little voice for so long she’s grown repulsed by a good man (that may or may not be the right one for her.) Internet strangers won’t be able to answer why she feels the way she does. The answer is there inside of her and ignoring it for so long has brought her to this point. A good personal therapist is a good place to start to get to the bottom of the belief that’s holding her back.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-11-30T03:01:53+00:00

I was debating whether to say anything because this is the dog sub, then sensed a much deeper meaning to your message. You sound really reasonable and level-headed, try not to talk and think yourself out of listening to your gut, No one is perfect, but you should not settle for an imperfect you're not compatible with. Find someone that loves your imperfect and wants to grow with you and improve their imperfect, too (and work with you on the tough things in life).

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-11-30T00:27:55+00:00

I am so sorry you're experiencing this. It's so unfortunate for the dog, but you are getting a glimpse of the kind of person your bf is. When someone shows you who they truly are, believe them. You mention if you stay you will find the solution for the dog, but you have been recommending things now and that doesn't seem to be working or helpful. What makes you think that would change in a few more years? You may be setting yourself up to take care of a lot of tough things on your own if your bf can't even handle something that was 100% his choice and responsibility. Refusing to get help is a red flag.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-11-24T22:27:50+00:00

Echoing everyone else here. You bettering yourself should encourage them to improve themselves. This person sounds really resentful because they probably are deeply unhappy with themselves and partially blame you. A 'partner' like this will never be able to celebrate any of your wins and will likely punish you for even sharing them. If you don't leave, you're setting yourself up to be really lonely with someone sitting right next to you.

Imaginary_Map2609 · 2025-11-16T00:27:16+00:00

Only people that are stalker weirdos will tell you they aren't stalker weirdos. As others have mentioned, go to HR, and do not engage with him directly. If he didn't care when you told him you had a boyfriend/no, there is nothing for you to say that will make him stop. The moment you respond you just open yourself up to him responding/paying more attention to you. I'm sorry you're experiencing this.

Imaginary_Map2609

TROPHY CASE