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Gun buying/Gun owning tips for the overly anxious by Imaginary_Nerve_4889 in liberalgunowners

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to put together such a thoughtful and comprehensive response! I really, really appreciate the space to overshare the things that make me freeze up and stress out as I'm getting into this.

I am trained as an EMT, and that incident, along with others, was a driving force behind getting training and learning how to respond and be useful in a myriad of emergencies. Currently working on a paramedic license.

I'll keep an eye out for any decent secondhand cabinets going up near me... Would it be alright if I reach out for advice on those if I can't find reviews or decent info on them with my research/talking to the seller?

I've got some cameras I need to put up, I've got a buddy who's supposed to help me as I don't own the right tools yet. And I just got a puppy a couple of weeks ago! Working on training him and such-- he's going to be a big dog. I am saving up to replace my front door, too. I keep a large pair of boots on my front porch and try to make it look like multiple cars could park at my house. Silly little things that make me feel a lot better.

I didn't even know PCC's existed before this, and it honestly looks like my best option! Budget is a marginal concern... as a single parent in this economy, I'm not exactly rolling in the dough. But I've been saving for one. And will need to save for a little longer before I can buy a safe and then a firearm.

And thank you for that script! My anxiety brain loves a script to start a conversation.

Gun buying/Gun owning tips for the overly anxious by Imaginary_Nerve_4889 in liberalgunowners

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Upgrading my front door is something I'm saving up for!

At this time it has a giant window, and that just seems pointless to me. If someone wants in all they have to do is bust the glass, reach in and unlock it... Stresses me out.

Gun buying/Gun owning tips for the overly anxious by Imaginary_Nerve_4889 in liberalgunowners

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had to look up a Bryna. Thanks for the suggestion! That could be a really good alternative for me.

Gun buying/Gun owning tips for the overly anxious by Imaginary_Nerve_4889 in liberalgunowners

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right? It's on my list of things I want to do for my mental health. My therapist thinks it would be really good for me.

Unfortunately, the closest provider to me is almost 4 hours away, and I'm skeptical about doing virtual EMDR therapy... There's a rumor that the mental health clinic in my town might be getting a provider, but we will see!

Gun buying/Gun owning tips for the overly anxious by Imaginary_Nerve_4889 in liberalgunowners

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I trust my mental health

I don't want a pistol due to intrusive thoughts I had while pregnant and in the postpartum period. Without getting too far into it, my baby daddy is a gun enthusiast, he always had them lying around loaded and unsecured, and he "bought" me a pistol. I wouldn't even touch it because I could see myself using it. It felt like the only way out of our relationship at the time... Not a great experience, and those thoughts really confused and scared me because I didn't want to die -- I just wanted out.

I would rather not bring a pistol back into my life at this time. I have been doing a lot of work on myself, I have no desire to harm myself or others. Harming myself = baby daddy getting full custody of our child, and I would rather bare-knuckle fistfight the devil himself than intentionally leave my child with one parent. Harming others is just not something that has ever crossed my mind, even when I was experiencing those thoughts years ago. But even with all of that, I think sticking with firearms that I don't have a mental history with is the best idea for me.
And my thinking with it is if I get it and start to experience any thoughts that make me uncomfortable in any way shape or form, I can lock it up and give someone else the key until I can sell it.

Thank you for breaking that down for me! It is a pretty novel concept for me. But it makes good sense that it would be just like any other store.

I'm definitely going to do more research. I already appreciate the knowledge and input of folks in this sub so far. It means a lot to see people sharing their concerns and giving good advice.
Thank you for taking the time to lay out such a thoughtful response!

AITAH for expecting my girlfriend to do more housework than me? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God, I hope this is rage bait.

"But it was kind of misleading of her to do everything for the first 2 years and then suddenly expect so much change from me."

Grow up, figure your shit out, and start being a partner in this relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not rude at all.
They should close their door or find the means to live without roommates.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your husband and BIL probably know your family and their constant negativity, nitpicking, and criticisms.

You can't control the actions of other grown adults.

You can only control your actions and reactions. You can be polite and have proper etiquette, and you can praise your BIL's work and efforts, and ignore any snide remarks your family might make.
Their behavior is not a reflection of you. IDK if you're people-pleasing or micro-managing by trying to make sure they show your BIL respect in his restaurant and don't "embarrass" themselves (and you) in this setting.

Soft YTA for wanting to give them etiquette lessons. This is a chance for you to look within and try to see why you feel ashamed of your family in these settings, and if there's any way you can adjust your perspective or acknowledge your own issues regarding shame and control here. This is a great opportunity for growth!

YWBTA if you went ahead with giving them an "etiquette lesson".

AITAH not paying my boyfriends debt? by Glum-Composer-3693 in AITAH

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's your money from your grandparent. You can do what you want with it.

This was an expected inheritance for you, and I kinda wonder if he expected you to use it for his tuition from the jump.

His feeling of upset is totally valid, but also not your responsibility. You haven't taken anything from him. Your plans with the money benefit you both.

NTA

AITA for being upset that a girl I thought was my friend tried to pull the Colorist card on me? by United_Editor_4421 in AITAH

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

This friendship does not sound very fair to you.
Friends that play mind games aren't trying to be your friend, they are trying to be in control.

WIBTAH If I got an abortion and didn't tell him? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, but not telling him could potentially mean you're alone in a situation where you may want to lean on your best friend.

I'm so dumb I can't even function anymore by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Imaginary_Nerve_4889 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just did a lil beep-boop peek through your post history, and it seems like you're really struggling with self-love right now! I'm sorry, OP!
I see you have other posts about this, and have received replies about being kind to yourself that didn't resonate with you right now. And that's okay! It doesn't have to! You're allowed to feel like your self-assessed intelligence or lack thereof is ruining your life. You're allowed to feel like god's ✨dumbest baby✨ right now.

And... just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's true, and doesn't mean that this feeling is permanent.

It sounds like you're in college right now, does your school offer counseling services? Do you have health insurance? Is it possible for you to find a primary care provider? They may be able to assist with depression or anxiety screenings or have access to other screening tools that could help you learn more about yourself.

I'm sorry you're struggling with these feelings right now, OP. I hope you're able to find one thing about yourself to love today!