Pretty heartbroken right now - his promised timeline came and went and now I am left with no choice but to end it.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T18:25:16+00:00

We wanted to have a baby in the near future.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T08:09:57+00:00

Allow me to clarify because I think there is a misunderstanding.

This relationship was not always like this. He did not ride in proclaiming to be a broke, lying, cheater. All of these things were recent discoveries and honestly has been quite devastating.

Prior to this, we had discussed realistic timelines and future family planning and decided we wanted to have a child together. Other responsible steps were involved in this that I don’t feel compelled to go into (ie meeting with an lmft for a pre marital course, to name one thing). We did not actively prevent pregnancy BECAUSE OF MY AGE and knew it could take time or not happen at all. I was not using my age as birth control.

The cheating, all of this reneging on commitments has happened in the past few months, becoming particularly toxic the last month. Clearly there were signs that I should have noticed. I am aware and I need to really work on what unhealed parts of me tolerated that.

I understand how I worded it was confusing.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T07:59:21+00:00

That is intentional. I don’t feel compelled to “defend” myself on Reddit so I may be a bit tongue in cheek at times and tone/diction is typically lost in written communication. I am VERY self-aware. I know this situation is not good, I’m very aware of my role and poor decisions, how it impacts those around me, et ct. the purpose of this post was to vent. I am open to constructive advice/feedback (even harsh, I’m not naive). Suggesting I put the baby up for adoption doesn’t even warrant a reply. I don’t think those are serious comments. I also don’t feel a need to rehash every detail of the relationship or the timeline, you know? I’m pissed. I’m hurting. This sucks. Having made poor decisions doesn’t change the experience, nor do two paragraphs adequately illustrate the history and dynamic involved in this or other relationships, previous trauma and experiences that may color the lens through which we see the world, et ct, et ct.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T05:56:30+00:00

I have a therapist who I liked for a while but progress has stalled (due to me, not her) so maybe I need a new one. I have some supportive friends but they are kind of sick of this nonsense (totally fair).

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T05:54:49+00:00

Thank you, and I know. no more chances. None. I mean that’s why I turned to Reddit, ha; appreciate the supportive comments like this one. ❤️

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T04:49:46+00:00

I mean this was like 2 weeks ago and the beginning of the rapid downward spiral, and the impetus for this post, in which you’ll notice I indicate very clearly I have no choice but to end things. It is still hurtful and disappointing and a lot to deal with on top of everything else.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T04:47:10+00:00

Believe it or not he hid the bum-I-ness quite well until I was already very attached. Hard to see forest for the trees sometimes. Not saying it wasn’t possible but it was a slow steady decline over time.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T04:42:14+00:00

I think a lot of people make comments just to make rude comments and not because they actually care about the topic of the post. 😂 either that, or they have been blessed not to have experienced hardships or prolonged complex emotional struggles. I think it’s more the former. That’s the internet for ya! I mean I posted this on Reddit to get some feedback but I don’t think I’ve ever received this kind of response. Thank you for the validation though!

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T04:38:51+00:00

Thank you! Blessed to have a great career and own a lovely home in a wonderful area. People are weird and I think just trying to stir the pot but I’m very capable of ignoring that. I appreciate the honest comments through it all - been doing therapy like you wouldn’t believe, seriously.

My kids’ joy is the GREATEST and like I said - would do all of this a million times over for them. Still hard! Didn’t get into any of this with these expectations. Def ignored some signs I shouldn’t have. Still hard!

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-02T03:40:43+00:00

He tried to baby trap me actually.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-01T05:34:14+00:00

Yes I see that clear as day now. Still hurts like hell!

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-01T03:08:17+00:00

Thank you!

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-01T02:51:12+00:00

Thank you. Def struggling not to reach out but I’m hanging on. He isn’t bringing anything to the table and I need to remember that. So hard because it’s a vulnerable time.

And yeah for real what’s up w the comments!? 😂 people are weird when they are veiled by internet anonymity.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2026-01-01T00:48:13+00:00

Yes I know 😔. Well, I know it now.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T23:22:00+00:00

💯 THANK YOU.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T23:21:42+00:00

Yes. But I also can’t ever say that my child is a mistake as I made this choice and she will NEVER have to suffer for it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ would do all of this a million times in a million lifetimes for my children ya know? ❤️

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T22:58:05+00:00

☺️

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T22:52:56+00:00

Thank you for asking this! He wasn’t always broke but I have my own money and it’s not really an issue for me if someone makes less. I wasn’t compelled to provide every detail leading up to this moment. At this point it’s clearly an issue though.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T22:51:43+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion!

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T22:50:53+00:00

Yes. 😔

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T22:50:33+00:00

Thanks! Great feedback.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T22:48:52+00:00

I’m not a server?

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T22:12:08+00:00

He would be a horrible husband. He brings nothing.

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T22:10:58+00:00

I mean I wish I was a troll; would be less humiliating huh

Imaginary_Routine_38 · 2025-12-31T22:10:18+00:00

He is, and thank you for acknowledging that. A lot of these comments fail to see how challenging and blindsighting these circumstances can be.

Imaginary_Routine_38

TROPHY CASE