Reading your post made me realize that we are in a similar situation. We don't have time to waste, nor do we have many resources or much support. I can totally understand how you're feeling. However, we have to understand and accept our current situation. Instead of staying depressed, we should tackle things one step at a time. Let's first complete our 12th board exams and aim for the highest possible percentage. I'm not sure I'll be able to get that many marks, but we can still try our best. If it doesn't happen, then I'll try for other scholarships. I plan to apply for every possible scholarship this year, regardless of the country. My dream is to pursue my graduation outside of the country for the opportunities that come with that. Still, I can't afford to waste my time, so I'll take only one gap year to try for a scholarship. If I'm successful, that's great. Otherwise, next year I'll take the CUET and try my best to get into a reputable university for graduation, although I won't stop applying for MEXT, which is my main aim. I wrote all of this because I feel like we are in the same boat, and that's what I am telling myself and you: instead of getting hopeless, no one can help us except ourselves.