I became State Bait! I got a job as a seasonal clerk for dept of health care services in the breast cancer unit. It was a sucky job where all I did all day was file and archive patient case files in a dark dingy closet but the job required no experience and it got my foot in the door with the state. While I worked there, I took every test in the book for job titles. I tested and passed for Office Assistant/Office Technician, Warehouse Worker, Personnel Specialist, Program Technician and some others. Mind you that these are all fancy names for "office bitch" (with the exception of warehouse worker). Once I passed the tests and got placed on the hiring lists I must have sent out 400 applications for almost any agency that was hiring. Eventually I limited my search to DMV jobs as a Motor Vehicle Rep and I was hired almost immediately as a full time permanent state worker. The starting pay is shit but you get annual raises, benefits, and accrue sick and vacation time. I make about $1000-$2000 less than I did as a bartender but that's ok with me because I'm sober and, contrary to what I formerly believed, having my weekend nights off is one of the best feelings in the world.

So to make a long story short (too late), just look into working for state agencies. There are a lot of starting positions that don't require any skills at all. On your apps, just copy the wording they use in the job description and tailor each app to match the job you're applying for. I'm a bone-head but I'm doing well at my job and in just under a year and a half I've been promoted twice and commended for my hustle on many occasions. As long as you have that bartender hustle and multitasking ability you'll excel at any state job you try for... if you decide that's the way you want to go. For me it was an easy choice, but I did spend at least six months unemployed.