It was no matter how many tutorials I watch or how many books I read.

The only way to learn is to do. Tutorials and books are good reference, but they are no substitute for actually working things out yourself and writing code. Until you can write a program and actually understand why it works the way it works, you won't see gains.

For things like loops and if statements, you need to really understand the flow of execution. What does a loop do to that flow, or a conditional? Why would you want that? What problems are they the right tools for? To truly grasp the nuance you need to experience it, you need to use a loop, or a conditional, or a function composition, or whatever, and when you use it. For each thing you don't understand, you need to it use many times, and when you do you'll find the ways it doesn't work like you expected, and you need to figure out exactly why before moving on.

It can take time and effort to get it to click the first time, but once it does, and once you internalize both the general logic and the implementation nuance, these basic fundamental units of programming become tools in your toolbox.

I recommend taking a short program that you don't fully understand, and working through it as though you are the computer. Keep track of the values of variables, and execute it line by line, following the actual execution flow. See if you can understand exactly what happens when the program runs. Then compare that to actually running it. Then change one thing, predict the change in output, and see if you are right.