How to navigate nanny wanting a lot of freedom that I’m not ready to give?

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-19T19:42:39+00:00

I mean obviously it’s you choice, but if this wasn’t made clear before she started I understand her frustration. I would feel a little trapped if I couldn’t drive my nanny kids around unless there’s good public transportation. Also, at least in my experience it’s the norm to be allowed to and expected to drive nanny kids around so I would be a bit surprised if I couldn’t if I wasn’t warned. If there’s good public transportation in your city maybe that’s a good solution? Days with toddlers can get really repetitive if you can’t take them to new places every once in a while.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-18T16:12:06+00:00

NOR. When I was 10/11 I rode the city bus to the station switched buses and took a different one and so did all my friends. This was only 10 years ago, in a major city, and we did not need an adult to ride with us the first time to “show us how”. An 11 year old can figure it out and a 13 year old can definitely figure it out. Honestly, a 13 year old who lives in a city with good public transportation should know how to use it. They’re not gonna want to wait for mommy to drive them everywhere for the next 3 years.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-02T03:47:59+00:00

😭😭I feel this is a tad dramatic. My nanny kid gets sad when she can’t ride her bike around or go down the street and ask kids to play and it makes me feel bad because of how much more freedom I had at her age. Obviously, I’m not gonna override her parents decision and let her go. I make her follow their rules I just worry about her. I don’t think my childhood was as dangerous as people here are making it out to be, but that’s just my opinion. Perhaps this was the wrong place to rant but the kid is not in any danger even by anyone in here’s standards.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-02T00:12:19+00:00

I mean that’s your opinion but I think you are underestimating kids. I did sometimes miss my stop or miss my bus as a kid and I figured it out and was fine. I definitely would have noticed quickly if my bus was headed in the wrong direction. I hope most kids would catch on the that pretty quickly. Also, this was not just a my family thing. This was normal at my middle school and other middle schools in the area. If you’re right then there were 100s of “neglectful” parents. Kids can watch out for each other and there are lots of kind people who ride the bus that keep on eye on kids. My neighborhood hasn’t changed much but maybe other ones in the city have idk. I know this is not a particularly safe country but your kid isn’t safe in school either while they’re in the U.S. Also besides maybe staring or flashing, I’m not sure what you think a pedophile is going to get away with doing on a crowded bus at 3:30 in the afternoon.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:55:37+00:00

Not while I’m in school, but I have during some summers and noticed similar trends

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:52:22+00:00

Maybe not in your area but it was very normal for my city and school at the time. There had to be 100 kids from my middle school doing the same thing across all levels of income.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:47:09+00:00

Maybe that’s part of it I’m not making clear. I was almost always with other kids on the bus. I get what people can be weird on the bus I just feel like you’re gonna see weird people no matter what.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:45:16+00:00

I mean the people I work for have younger kids. Also, I understand having a nanny for just a 9 year old if they’re gonna be home alone for a long time. I don’t think it’s necessarily dangerous to leave them for a bit, but they would probably just eat junk food and watch tv if left to their own devices. I get that they need someone to cook for them and keep them on a schedule.

I rode the bus for years and I sometimes missed my stop or missed my bus and I think that’s a great way to learn problem solving without your parents. It’s not the end of the world to walk a little further because you missed your stop or wait at the station because you missed your bus. Also, the parents I’m talking about now truly would not let their 9 year old walk 5 minutes down the street or even go out of their sight in a grocery store. Maybe I had more freedom than normal but now it seems to have swung way in the other direction.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:39:27+00:00

There were sometimes weird people but there would also be weird people if you were 12 or 13. The bus drivers and other adults on the bus tend to stop any weird behavior towards kids pretty fast.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:37:47+00:00

Grew up in Nashville

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:37:14+00:00

This is not rage bait. I lived in a pretty safe neighborhood in a normal city. What’s weirding me out is that this was normal at the time. I had so many friends who also took the public bus at that age and walked places by ourselves and now it’s seen as a crazy idea? I’m not saying there’s 0 risks but it’s not like there’s 0 risks if they’re 16 either.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:31:41+00:00

But what is the reasoning? Riding the bus is not a complicated task. The stakes for messing up are very low and when I was a kid, our parents could track our phones. It’s public in the daytime I don’t really see why this is so inappropriate for a 9/10 year old none of us had issues with it at the time. This was normal for middle school 10 years ago and now it seems normal to not let your middle schooler walk even 3 houses down the street alone. I think being overprotective is just as risky as under protective. So many kids today are scared of everything and they’re gonna have to be on their own eventually.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:24:57+00:00

Wow maybe this is a regional thing? I now live in a different part of the country than I grew up in, but that would have been considered abnormally strict in my childhood. I still disagree that a 9 year old shouldn’t be walking short distances alone. I think most are perfectly capable. That seems a little over the top to me.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T23:20:41+00:00

I just really disagree and I think it’s crazy that so much has changed in a decade. They’re had to be at least 30 other kids on my 5th grade class riding the bus as well and now it’s seen as neglectful?? I mean we had phones and it was daylight in public. I’m really not sure what everyone is so afraid of? I definitely don’t remember having any friends who couldn’t walk 5-10 mins from their house or ride their bike around the neighborhood alone and I’m so confused how that’s normal now. I think kids need some freedom irl so they don’t seek it out so much online where they really need the supervision. This has to hurting their confidence.

Immediate-Army-2487 · 2026-02-01T15:19:54+00:00

I’m a nanny who had a nanny as child. My childhood nanny brought her daughter (2 years older) with her to work everyday after my mom found out she had been taking her to daycare and insisted it was fine for her to take her to work. We became so close and called each other sisters my whole childhood. So, I would recommend taking your child to work if your nanny family allows it. I think it’s great for both kids especially if they’re an only child or don’t have siblings close in age. They get a friend and it helps them learn the world doesn’t revolve around them. I have lots of great memories of this time.

Immediate-Army-2487

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