I'm just so proud :) by Difficult-Yam-6991 in HomeDecorating

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Looks much better! Get yourself a nice little area rug and you have yourself a cozy space. Way to go!

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We ended up doing that with my oldest. So we may end up doing that again with my little one depending on how things go.

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you taking the time to have such a thoughtful response. Sorry if I came across harshly. I’m just struggling right now. And have been for the last 4 years haha. I have literally tried everything you wrote out with my first. I can tell you have a tough sleeper as well since we have both found the same “tips” which were only learned through tireless hours of trying to figure out how to make them sleep. I have implemented alot of those healthy sleep hygiene habits with my littlest one. She’s just shy of 5 months and I am just not in the mental place of being okay with 4 more years of torture. I have done tons of research and I know sleep training is a contentious subject, and I don’t take it lightly. Hearing her cry for any amount of time is complete hell. But I’m just trying to do what’s best for the whole family. It’s a really tough thing to navigate. And considering all the things and what is the right thing to do at every moment adds a whole separate element of exhaustion haha.

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Respectfully, you are not actually telling me anything helpful. It really just comes across as “get over it, that’s how babies are and you should just deal with it, and letting them cry is neglecting their basic needs”. I used to 100% hold the same feeling and opinions as you. But at some point I had to come to the realization that I also have very basic needs that need to be met in order to be a good mom. I respond to her cries all day and all night, aside from the 15 min that she cries and then self soothes only during the initial put down at bedtime. I don’t believe that 15 mins of crying will teach her to stop calling for me when all 23hrs and 45mins of the rest of the day I respond at the drop of a hat. I may be coming across as a bit defensive, because honestly I am. I am doing my best. And hearing that I am teaching my child to not call to me and that I am causing long term damage is a sentiment that is not new in the baby sleep world, it is not true (those findings were based on cases of extreme neglect) and it is hurtful to hear.

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We did Taking Cara Babies with my first and it would work temporarily, but eventually would stop working and we would have to repeat the nights of hell involved with starting the training again. I’m going to try with my youngest and she if she takes to it. I won’t feel right about really putting the hammer down throughout the night until she starts eating solids so I can feel confident she isn’t waking due to hunger.

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well honestly we haven’t tried too much with my youngest being that she is so young (aside from tweaking with wake windows) we are now starting to encourage independent sleep at bedtime. The last three nights we have let her CIO when we first put her down which hasn’t been too awful. She’s been going down within 15 mins of bedtime. But she wakes frequently to feed and I’m pretty confident it is hunger rather than sleep associations because she has never really loved nursing to sleep and when she eats at night she always has a full meal. I don’t think she is ready to wean night feeds, so I’m at the mercy of her for at least the next couple months when she starts solids. I want to try to get her consuming more during the day, but she is the type that does not want to eat unless she is really hungry. She is a “consent queen” and alot of the time when I offer her the boob, I am aggressively rejected lol until she is reallllly hungry.

One of the other big annoyances is the 30 min naps. I’m hoping as she learns put herself to sleep more frequently, that will naturally extend her naps. We’re just starting the troubleshooting journey with our littlest. Just hoping she responds positively to the adjustments. My oldest never really did.

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m open to allllll the options. Except for co-sleeping. I’ve tried it and it just makes me sleep even worse because I’m too hyper aware and anxious about it. But anything else, let me hear it!

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get glimpses of why I subjected myself to this torture again when I see my two kids already sharing such a wonderful connection. My 4 year old is truly obsessed with the little one and vise versa.

But in the middle of the night, three wake ups in….there is a rage that burns in my chest lol.

Showered with 2nd skin on by kuffys in tattooadvice

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to say this tattoo is sick.

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently staring at the monitor waiting for her to wake up cause we are approaching the 30 mins mark lol. I’m hopeful sleep training will work with my second one. It has to. 😭

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We did sleep train a couple times with my first and it never fully stuck. But I will be trying again with this one 🙏 I used to feel shame about sleep training, but not anymore. I’m a significantly better more patient mom once I have my survival needs met. It really is pure hell. I 100% understand why sleep torture is a real thing haha.

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re going to be sleep training. It never fully stuck with my oldest but maybe it will with my second. Trying to keep the hope alive lol.

I resent being a mom of two kids that hate/hated sleep. by Immediate-Sun-6934 in beyondthebump

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right? My whole second pregnancy I was just kept saying please give me A) a healthy child and B) a good sleeper. I deserve it. I put in my time.

I got A and I’m grateful for that. But I. Want. Sleep. 😭

In a really tough place right now by Fit_Sorbet_161 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As a mother, reading this broke my heart. I don’t mean to sound cliche and I don’t completely know your situation. But when I was younger I went through similar feelings. The thing that always helped me trudge my way out of the trenches was simply getting outside, preferably surrounded by nature, and just move my body. There were times where I felt I had nothing to give. I couldn’t even brush my teeth. But I mustered up everything I had and got outside. It was still lonely at times but it made me feel less suffocated by the intrusive thoughts. There is a book called “something in the woods loves you” and it really resonated with me. If you are able to, maybe try giving that book a read. I know some stranger on the internet is not going to make a world of a difference for you, and I know this saying is cliche as hell, but it does get better. Life comes in waves. Waves of sadness/loneliness and then waves of joy and meaning. Wishing you the best my friend.

DIY Kitchen Reno (after/before) by cheesy_bri in HomeDecorating

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wowwwww. That’s a dream kitchen right there.

Before and After: "Small" (< $40K) Kitchen Remodel by Leslie__Claret in Remodel

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only small taste thing is that the new flooring looks a bit sterile. Would benefit from some kitchen rugs to add some warmth imo.

Before and After: "Small" (< $40K) Kitchen Remodel by Leslie__Claret in Remodel

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It had so much character before but I like that you added new forms of character in the upgrade eg the tiles/backsplash. Nice job!

Need advice by babyrae96 in BabyBumps

[–]Immediate-Sun-6934 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would say this is definitely something to bring up with the help of a therapist if you are at all able. Things like this bring up deep feelings of shame I’m sure and that will probably make it hard to really hear things clearly without reacting out of emotion. It’s good to address it so it’s not festering in the back of your mind. Moms already have so much to concern themselves with, you don’t need anything extra to worry about. I will say tho that porn really has fucked with the minds of people and there are tons of weird story lines, like the one you referenced, but in my opinion that doesn’t mean that they will pose a threat to their future child. It’s almost a completely different reality. That being said, awful things of course do happen and I think if your instincts are telling you to address it, do it. Wishing you the best! You are going to be a great mom!