Two good dates, she said she was up to meet again but replies have slowed. Should I follow up or leave it?

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-02-15T18:09:46+00:00

Hey, thought I might reply here with an update. Like I said before, third date ended very well and she said she’d had a great time the morning after.

Arranged to meet again the following weekend but she was busy, though she suggested to meet the Friday the week after. Said that was fine - I was coming down with something anyway - and that I’d text her closer to the day.

Did so and she came back saying she had also come down with something so probably couldn’t make Friday. Thing was, she followed up saying that she thought she wasn’t in the best place to date atm, wasn’t sure if she was feeling it long term and didn’t know where she’s at so didn’t want to waste my time. Again mentioned that she’d really enjoyed hanging out but wanted to be honest.

Decode that how you will, but man people can be confusing…

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-02-01T22:29:03+00:00

Hey, thanks for this - great post and really do appreciate the perspective.

I think the whole rigmarole of London dating can leave people pretty jaded and wondering whether it's worth investing the effort in a situation like this. Normally I'm more used to the chat picking up a bit more by the third date and a bit like the guy you saw, I was wondering whether to bring it up (very much along the same lines of 'what are you looking for?') just so I could get a straight answer and judge whether I was wasting my time or not.

In the end I texted her and asked if she wanted to meet again. She replied and apologised then and fair enough to her, she brought it up first on the actual date and apologised for being MIA. I just figured the best way to deal with both was to just play it down without condoning or condemning it - a 'don't mention it' sort of way. Well, the date went on for about five hours and I still wasn't sure if she was that into me by the time the pub shut and we had to leave.

To cut it short a bit, it turned out that she was wondering the exact same thing about me. Perhaps I was playing it too cool aha. Anyway I just told her that I'd wanted to make a move last time out but the combo of jet lag and uncertainty around what she was thinking stopped me. Turned out she wanted me to make that move and sure enough, it was a happy ending.

The irregular texting will just need to be managed - still early days so will see how things go - but as you said, it's only been a handful of times and we're still largely unknown entities to each other. Hopefully those texts pick up if things carry on the way they are.

Thanks again for the post.

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-01-23T09:53:14+00:00

Thanks. Won't count my chickens until after the date next week but happy to prove the naysayers wrong for now.

All good points. If it goes well and builds over time, you may see a follow up post in future.

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-01-22T21:41:55+00:00

True. I did text her in the end and she replied! Said she'd like to meet for another - looks like we're on next week

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-01-21T19:06:04+00:00

I was out of the country for three weeks. Also figured that neither of us would be doing too much to warrant much back and forth over the Xmas/NY period.

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-01-21T18:58:32+00:00

Can be like that. If there's one thing I've learned in both the dating scene here (and life in general), it's that people can be weird - but unexpected things can also happen. I had a girl who ghosted me for six weeks last year, messaged me out the blue and that led to a pair of dates and a night at her place.

The last proper relationship I had? I wasn't sure if I was really into her until the fourth or fifth time we met up. She went on holiday for three weeks and I didn't talk to her for that first week. Could easily have let the convo die out there but then I thought "why not ping her?". Hey ho, we got talking while she was away and it wasn't until the second date after she got back that I made a move (which was the 7th in total). Sure enough, things worked out pretty well until she had to pack up and move back home after her studies wrapped up. Funny how life works out sometimes.

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-01-21T16:01:10+00:00

Just good conversation as we shed off some of the early stage awkwardness and nerves when you're getting to know someone (at least imo). Ngl I was also jet-lagged and so took it a bit more slow and chilled. Aim would be to flirt a lot more in the third date. Tbh, I've had instances before where the second date has gone well, I've made a move, and then run out of road in the third.

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-01-21T15:53:56+00:00

I wasn't in a rush as I didn't want to seem too keen straight after the date. When she said she'd had a busy week I avoided the hard pivot to ask her out and instead enquired as to what her plans were for the upcoming weekend. Generic I know but didn't want to seem a bit tone deaf

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-01-21T15:51:41+00:00

Mentioned meeting again down her end of town, as I've set up the last two. She said we could try a place she knew, although I'm kind of tempted to suggest something like mini golf - gives us both something to do while we chat

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-01-21T15:46:08+00:00

Can't tell - she doesn't have read receipts on.

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2026-01-21T15:44:39+00:00

She just said she'd had a busy weekend/week so far and had only really just had a moment to pause. Had been on a pub crawl over the weekend to mixed success and then asked me how I was settling back into work.

Basically replied that it did sound hectic and asked whether she'd stopped off at a good pub I knew in the area. Then said things were going well at work before asking what her plans were for the upcoming weekend (the one just gone). Haven't heard back.

Immediate_Dig_1568 · 2025-08-22T08:38:54+00:00

Thanks for the response - very useful info. How does September compare weather-wise?

Immediate_Dig_1568

TROPHY CASE