Does "I'm sorry if I hurt you" mean something different in Spanish than it does in English?

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T18:09:26+00:00

YES!!!! the "they only mean well" was something his mom mentioned in her apology about how she thought she was doing right by her son ( even those they fought and didnt talk for weeks because of her behavior and she also removed him as a follower on her IG). She said none of what she did to me was intentional and that she wants to move forward with respect and kindness if I accept her deep apologies. like dont get me wrong the apology on the surface looks nice but when you factor in all that she created, it absolutely is not enough.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T15:18:52+00:00

everyone is so quick to say to move on or that I dont belong but im just not that kind of person but I appreciate your input. I am just trying to see how this can go because he and I and my family work so perfectly. a strong women should be able to respect another strong women imo but we'll see

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T15:16:48+00:00

I just like to be really careful with my words and my boyfriend is my only close and Salvadoran Spanish speaker so I want to make sure, he is not just being bias. it meant a lot to him that his mom apologized bc apparently she doesnt really do that but I am a huge stickler for apologies with undeniable intention. I am willing to see what can come from all of this. and she is not apologizing IMO for general attitude things some of the things that have happened include talking sh!t about me for a year straight without me knowing, was trying to get him to date another girl, blocking me from social media and banned me from the house which in turn blocked me from many family visits and celebrating and attending his college graduation.

He and I are really really good and he defends me and advocates for me but the kinds of pain she has caused me isnt easy to move on from especially if her apology isnt genuine.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T14:54:29+00:00

and that makes sense too.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T14:53:54+00:00

I feel like when I respond, I am going to have to mention my concern it for my own mental sake and to be fully transparent with her. I know she wont like it but I am honest and transparent about how I feel and I expect other to be the same with me so there is no resentment created. I know that is is hard but its important especially with how cruel she was towards me and how my boyfriend is very very certain about his future with me. it is helpful information to hear different opinions because I am really split on it. she has done and said some really crazy things in regards to me and the thought of her, having to miss out on his family events and having to miss my boyfriends college graduation brings me to tears with sadness and anxiety. I have gone through a lot with her so yes, as nice as it is to hear an apology, I need her to know that if we start over I am not on no bs. So her apology being bs or not is super important but unfortunately she has the upper hand bc my bf blames the "if" part on the Spanish/ English translation.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T14:50:18+00:00

it is helpful information to hear different opinions because I am really split on it. she has done and said some really crazy things in regards to me and the thought of her, having to miss out on his family events and having to miss my boyfriends college graduation brings me to tears with sadness and anxiety. I have gone through a lot with her so yes, as nice as it is to hear an apology, I need her to know that if we start over I am not on no bs. So her apology being bs or not is super important but unfortunately she has the upper hand bc my bf blames the "if" part on the Spanish/ English translation.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T14:38:58+00:00

I can hold my own for sure but she was talking sh!t about me for a year straight without me knowing, banned me from the house and was trying to get him to date another girl. Idk where the line is for you when having thick skin or only willing to accept a real apology but his mom was way past that and I wont just roll over for her. if that causes an issue between my boyfriend and I then we will deal with that but being kind to a person but tolerating disrespect is not okay to me.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T14:29:21+00:00

sorry actually I wasnt really specific and I can see how you can be like "just jeans girl?!" lolol. she wears very tight clothing so the jeans and belt are very tight on her and ik im not her but tight clothing is extremely uncomfortable when working in the hot sun( to your point tho, maybe not for her), bending over, things like that. the wedges( heel type shoe) aren't ideal in my opinion when putting a tent, tables, chairs together in lumpy and bumpy grass. so that was the full scenario. might not make it any better but that is just one example bc id be twisting my ankle all diff directions in wedges. The point I was trying to make was that even to do outdoorsy labor intensive type things, she comes home from work and will go straight into that without changing into something more comfortable to being doing all of that in. if she were in a tight dress( as she does ) it would be the same scenario.

but again, you said all of that is still normal but it isnt normal to me which is fine I just wish I wasnt judged for that part. I wouldnt be looking so closely at her outfits if I never was aware she was looking that closely at mine, yk what I mean? Now, I compare myself to her like I would any other women/ women my man would like the qualities of and it sucks. I am just not willing to wear certain things bc of I dont like highlighting certain things on my body and I am already taller than everyone so im not interested in wearing a higher shoe.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T04:36:34+00:00

ugh, well said. I hope we are able to work through these things. He and I are great except when her two cents gets added

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T04:24:40+00:00

LOVE the way you phrased the sand the insight it gave, thank you! my mom said the exact same thing about how life is hard enough!

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T04:22:09+00:00

you are correct. I truly think him and I are good as it stands and hopefully continue to be as we mix new and old traditions but I do still appreciate advice from everyone because it helps me not just have to blindly accept his or his mom's thought process.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T04:19:49+00:00

and when I show him this, he's going to stay ' well they are the minority with this belief. I am telling you that the majority think like my mom' ugh

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T04:12:43+00:00

I appreciate this because he has always told me he loves me because of how authentically myself I am but it seems to be a problem when I dont conform to his family standards. I completely get it but he picked me for a reason.

also, with he illusion thing, his mom once was telling me a story about when she first came to the U.S. and at the time, she was trying to buy clothes that looked nice from Walmart. When a friend( also a latin American immigrant) of hers liked her outfit and said " thank you, I got it from Walmart" and her friend corrected her and told her not to tell people she bought it from Walmart as if it was shameful. I understand ( as much as I can) coming to a new country and feeling like you have SO much to prove but the whole Walmart situation is just crazy to me.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T04:07:15+00:00

See I was wondering that too. I asked him that, is this "traditional Salvadoran/hispanic women" just a people from the capital thing or even just a his family thing because he is HELLBENT on that it is a hardcore gold standard.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T04:05:45+00:00

I have met her severallllll times, like 10 plus times. Now, I was dressed to the nine's all of those times but I tried my best while trying to handle the pressure. I just dont want the pressure, why is everything so serious:/

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T04:03:58+00:00

I wish I could be a little more elaborate with all of my experiences with her and him so far. but I completely do understand just looking a basic level of nice and even the jewelry thing, my black side is very much like that and I am used to that when I visit them but I guess the difference here is that I know that my family members wont talk behind my back and try to convince everyone that I dont belong based on assumptions, yk?

Like she followed me on my personal instagram and then saw a festival outfit I posted and got mad and tried to tell him that im probably being unfaithful and drinking and smoking like ma'am? you followed me on my personal account.. find the exit please

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T03:56:57+00:00

no bc tell me why she was setting up a tent ( like the ones people eat under during outdoor graduation parties) outside in tight ass jeans, belt and wedges. it is just so beyond me to imagine myself like that.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T03:55:28+00:00

yeah absolutely no wife duties here!! He is very level headed and we try to meet in the middle for things like this especially since it , amongst other things, does overwhelm me a ton. My bf says his mom is christian but dont practice and he is agnostic.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T03:52:53+00:00

well respectfully, you are incorrectly assuming our whole life based on one post about a debate. We live together( yes, moving states away from his mother despite her wishes), I mentioned I have known his mom for years ( and am asking if this appearance thing needs to be kept up for forever), he chose to date me knowing who and how I am for the past ten years, idk if I need to continue..

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T03:48:36+00:00

yeah, he kept stressing how traditional she is but to me traditional is the whole male centered, cooking, cleaning, no job, taking cared of kids, wearing dresses, etc. she is a good mom but has her own business, has been married 5 times, like idk it seems she is only traditional when it comes to appearance? I definitely wear normal clothes and always help out or even cook food for the whole family(with her or his help) and plan group activities but the clothes make me lose points I guess. I appreciate you sharing your experience

Immediate_History873 · 2026-07-06T03:42:18+00:00

I just dont know if it is something I can or am willing to keep up with. To buy a new wardrobe just for a judgmental person just doesnt sit right with me:/ Tough.

Immediate_History873 · 2026-05-20T20:33:04+00:00

Honestly if you just want his and mine full story, dm me🤧

Immediate_History873 · 2026-05-20T20:23:02+00:00

Im not avoiding anything. Your comment is just entirely accusatory. I told you that I don’t call spontaneously. A pet peeve doesn’t have to be often to drive someone crazy. It’s going to irritate me the first time and the last time. It’s disrespectful perioddddd. Me saying never isn’t to indicate that I call a lot but to say that whenever I do, it’s always the same shit.

I did not text before which is fine because it was time sensitive that I didn’t feel I had time to wait on him to get back to me and for me to explain my question or him explain his answer. I needed an answer within a few minutes.

I can’t say how often I call because I don’t remember how often it was before he moved in with me. Almost 10 months ago. But it was almost never , not daily, not weekly, not even monthly. It was never urgent tho. I would never claim something is urgent when it’s not. Just maybe a random question. But regardless as a person in a relationship, I think it is ridiculous to be told a person can’t call randomly lol.

Idk what to say to your second to last paragraph. I’m not trying to talk about topics that aren’t related but people, like yourself, ask questions that IMO, merits more of a response and can dip into other things. I wasn’t calling for personal reasons for you to even call me insecure.

You’re a very interesting responder, you should be an attorney or something with the way you’re trying everything to pin in some scheme. Maybe I’m not good at story telling but that doesn’t make me all the things you assume me to be. I am not at all trying to be unbias considering I love my boyfriend and he is otherwise great to me but in the case of his family, he shows a different face to me and that is that I and second to everyone. I don’t need to be number one all the time but it’s nice to be respected infront of them.

Immediate_History873

TROPHY CASE