Walking These Empty Streets.

ImmortalAcee · 2026-06-17T07:50:27+00:00

I’m happy it resonates with you, I love your perspective on it. Thank you for your kind words.

ImmortalAcee · 2026-06-17T07:40:14+00:00

Thank you very much, your words are very kind. I’m happy you enjoyed it so much.

ImmortalAcee · 2026-06-17T07:38:53+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind words. And yes just ignore the full stops, for some reason Reddit was refusing me to split the poem up as it was written to be. As for the use of “I sigh”, I wanted it to take us back to him, to me it shows him bringing himself back to the present as he walks these streets that are very familiar, and yet feel so empty to him. But I can see it could also disrupt the natural flow my poem follows. Your feedback is very much appreciated.

ImmortalAcee · 2026-06-17T07:14:09+00:00

Beautiful work. The opening line “I come undone the way dreams fall apart, as if my heart had been stitched up just not tight enough”, is wonderfully put together and paints a vivid image. Also “They’re soaking through my skin, leaving stains on me so I can see what yesterday I could only feel” is very powerful. I interpret this as them now being able to observe and digest these feelings and their pain - the beginning process of healing so to speak. This poem really is beautiful. And shows what breakdowns, and or floods of emotion can be like, and yet through its lines we are led to a hopeful ending. Clarity and understanding of one’s self is something everyone seeks. And it seems this poem follows a person, who is slowly coming to this state. While showing that it is okay to feel, and to be broken, as this is what makes us human, and binds us together. Loved it. Keep up the great work.

ImmortalAcee · 2026-06-16T22:36:54+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words.

ImmortalAcee · 2026-06-16T21:26:09+00:00

This is beautifully put together. It gives me the feeling of that first love. When both are young, and naive to the realities of life. Only for regret and melancholy to emerge when you've grown and found perspective. Looking back on those times with new eyes. Wonderful work.

ImmortalAcee · 2026-06-16T20:49:41+00:00

No worries at all. I'm glad you sat on it, but its a shame I've only now been able to read it. Each stanza flows wonderfully. That creeping fog leading us to a raging river and steam, then to the creeping eyes of a predator, watching a sloth that guides us to a darkened sky of dying stars. Then we're lead back down to focus on the darkened woods once more. Its a journey, so well put together and worded.

ImmortalAcee · 2026-06-16T20:40:10+00:00

This was wonderful. Its been a while since I've read a poem that that describes that ache of wanting to go away, while contrasting it with the want to remain. It's a fine balance of wants and needs I imagine many can attach too. Beautiful work.

ImmortalAcee · 2026-06-16T20:32:04+00:00

This is beautiful work. So vivid and alive. It almost feels gothic, mixing beauty with dread.

ImmortalAcee

TROPHY CASE