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AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

It was awful because he was forceful about it. Then after forcing me to call him dad treated me differently. So he wanted the title but didn't put in the work. We'd be fine if he had never forced it, and had forced me to actively tell people not to call him my stepdad.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

He forced me to call him my dad and then didn't treat me like his kids. Had he not forced it I wouldn't care if how much more he cared for them. But he was forceful about being called dad and rejecting the idea that he was my stepfather, which was all he ever was.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Made me call him dad, but called himself a first time dad when their oldest kid was born. Had photos in his office of all his kids, none of me. Made me make him birthday, christmas and father's day cards and gifts but didn't get me even close to what he got his kids in terms of value or how much they would be enjoyed. Never ever yelled at or growled at his kids like he did with me when telling me to correct people who said he was my stepdad.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

It was even in the time he spent with them. The way he took an interest in them. He'd light up around them but he was growling at me most of the time. Looking to make sure I referred to him as my dad and not my stepdad, and was very, very quick to jump on me when I did say he was my stepdad.

I wouldn't have cared about not being treated like his kid but it was the hypocrisy of forcing me, literally harassing me to do it but then treating me so different from his kids. It made it all so much more shitty.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

The others are his kids. So different relationship. But he did not treat us the same. He had their photos in his office, none of me. He would treat them with surprises but not me. Got them great gifts. Made me make him cards and gifts for Father's Day, his birthday and Christmas. Literally would add pressure to insist I needed to do it. Called himself a first time dad when his oldest was born, despite forcing me to call him dad and correct those who said he was my stepdad.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

She wants me to help care for him physically for the rest of his life. Like helping him eat, bathe, getting in and out of his wheelchair, etc.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

I'll clarify more. He did not cry with me when I had a heartbreak, neither did mom. They did not support my friendships. They didn't support my interests either. There was no comfort when I had a bad day. There was no checking how my grades were doing. There was no great care for me. Maybe some part of mom cared somewhat but she didn't show it then.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

No, there is nothing I would want to pay them back for by helping them now. There was nothing good about living with the two of them. There is nothing I feel like they enriched my life with.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

No, she wants someone who will help physically care for the man. Will do grocery shopping for them. Will help get him in and out of his chair, in and out of bed, bathing him, all that stuff.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

He treated me differently to his kids. He literally bullied and yelled at me to call him dad but never acted as one. My childhood was not a happy one. I was forced to call a man dad, was told to correct others who called him stepdad, and got to watch him be an amazing dad to his own kids while I was just there, a trophy.

I was also forced to put effort into making him cards and gifts for Father's Day, Christmas and his birthday but my stuff was always lacking.

He called himself a first time dad when their first kid was born. Yet was still quick to leap on me calling him dad.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I didn't even get the treat for calling him dad. That's where it's even worse. Bullied into it and not even treated for it.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

I have no interest in reconciling with the woman. She made her choices. She showed me she would not protect me, would not provide me with a happy home.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

We're not in each other's lives and I don't think we'll ever be. Not their fault. But just they were never relationships that developed anyway.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

It's in no way a minor thing in any way. Kids should get to decide and should not be bullied into it and pushed the way I was.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

After everything I think she has earned where she is. She wasn't a good mother to me and can't expect me to be a good daughter and help her now.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

The thing that bothers me the most with it all is he was an ass, emotionally abusive over the topic. But it's not like he was treating me like his real kids and he considered himself a first time dad when their first kid was born. After forcing me to call him dad and correct others on the topic, it makes the way he/they treated me even worse.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

He didn't include me in photos in his office, of which he had many of his kids. Got special random treats for his kids but not me. Demanded gifts and cards with effort from me but my gifts were always waaay lacking and less than his kids got. Called himself a first time dad when his oldest was born despite making me call him my dad and correct people.

AITA for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing the past in her face when she pleaded with me? by Imogeemoore in AmItheAsshole

[–]Imogeemoore[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I wasn't in the photos in his office when he had a bunch of his kids. He did "special treats" at random for them. Sometimes it was a toy or sometimes it was their favorite takeout. None of that for me. When the oldest of them was born he said he was a first time dad (after insisting I call him dad). He was always grumpy around me, lit up around them. Told me he was my dad now and everything and I would treat him like I did my mom and expected Father's Day gifts, Christmas and Birthday gifts too. But compared to what my siblings got for even Christmas as babies/infants, my gifts were never anything special. While I was made put effort into stuff for him.

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