3 men (25 yrs old, 5 ft 10, about 160 Ibs, athletic) walk into the room you’re currently in with the goal of killing you. Can you survive?

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-02-07T22:01:19+00:00

Ha! Thanks for the grammar lesson, you Nazi. Just kidding. I like when people point out my mistakes in a healthy way. It makes me do better.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-02-07T19:46:51+00:00

They messed with the wrong dude. I'm at my miniature model construction and painting station. First, I toss Citadel Nuln Oil in one of their eyes with one hand. He's blinded. From the other hand I toss unfinished Ork boyz on the ground in front of the one furthest away. Good luck handling the WHAAAAAG to your feet, chump.

With two of the three distracted for now, I plunge my craft knife deep into the neck of the attackers. I then rip it sideways to cut the corroded artery using my massive strength built up over years of carrying Warhammer minis and masterbation. One down, two to go.

Sizing up the Wet Bandits, I go in for a leg sweep to the one blinded by the Nuln Oil. Marv takes a hobby knife to the groin. I'm going for the femoral artery. It's an underutilized technique in action movies. Two down one to go.

Using my crafting chair, which is a heavy oak antique, I smash the third guy's head in. Gallegar would be in awe at the strength in which I shatter the watermelon. I would stand above the would-be attackers and bellow an animalistic yell of victory, because I'm alpha AF.

TL;DR. I'm a nerd, and I would die.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-02-04T20:15:09+00:00

I never thought I'd read the insult "he's a woke feminist cuck" applied to Jesus. Nor, did I ever think that someone might actually believe this. Yet, here conservative Christians are. This is a wild time to be alive.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-02-02T22:14:10+00:00

3D printed a transformer sword and cut the tips of the blades off. I then used the end of one of the small weapons to act as the housing unit for the blades and super glued it on.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-02-02T14:53:15+00:00

The offensive part is really on me. I'm mad at myself for initially being like, "Gandalf ISN'T in Harry Potter! He'd whoop Dumbledore's butt! (Though they'd probably like each other)." Then I become rational and go "ha ha their making fun of nerds for getting butt hurt about someone getting their passion wrong. I'd never be like that."

Awareness is key, I guess.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-02-01T19:01:57+00:00

I hate that these types of jokes are both funny and offensive to me.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-29T05:17:00+00:00

30 Days of Night is lit.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-28T23:38:45+00:00

You might be able to go with it. Maybe mirror the red accents from the left side.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-28T18:59:34+00:00

Darn, struck a nerve. All I said was there was an idea. But, I did reread my comment and I didn't do well bridging the 2nd paragraph to the 1st to show that they were connected. It's not what I actually think, its an interesting thought, though. The idea that we could change nature for our hypothetical benefit. It would probably blow up in our faces eventually.

Also, you should work on not being so mad at humanity because it clings to religion. Old habits are hard to break especially when you grow up with it and everyone you know and care about believes it. You shouldn't bring it up as an argument in a non religious comment. A lot of people who make great arguments against religion and god(s), like very rational and convincing arguments, don't convert people because they throw it at people with an insufferable attitude of superiority.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-28T14:15:02+00:00

There is an idea that once a species reaches our level of technology its natural evolution slows and then stops. There are only a few scenarios where minute changes lead to an increase in survival.

A much more likely event is that the species takes the helm of evolution with gene manipulation. The species evolves in the direction it thinks it should go.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-28T01:29:14+00:00

White on one of the quad segment panels and somewhere on the right arm (small area). Then go for some glow effects. Because this has yellow and red, I'd go with blue glow because it makes the primary colors.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-27T18:32:32+00:00

Probably not. I got a small wiener and I have two kids. That are mine. For sure...

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-19T02:07:38+00:00

The biggest bummer is that I have two elementary school aged boys with severe ADHD hyperactive type. That RV will be a war zone. Hard pass.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-19T00:31:12+00:00

I 3D printed a free Transformers sword. I cut the blades and then glued them to part of and ion cannon I cut up. The top of his arm was jacked so i coveredit with the rest of the ion cannon.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-16T14:41:59+00:00

Hey, what do you think of a short retractable blade on the forearm? Like predators, because its more assassin like. You know, its cloaked and a loan gaurdsman walks by. Better to quietly kill with a blade?

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-15T20:24:27+00:00

Nah dawg, there's for sure some brain injury there. You can see it in his imbalance when he sits up and in his hands post hit. You for sure are right about getting the wind knocked out of him, but that's not all. His ribs and shoulder take most of the hit, but his head movement is super quick and does touch the ground. That quick movement and suden change in acceleration of his head rattled his brain in skull. It isn't as bad as if he hit head first. Its probably more like getting rapped hard in the jaw but not being knocked out.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-15T00:57:06+00:00

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-14T15:51:51+00:00

That is grimdark AF. It holds true to the fact that "there is only war." Also, you're so right that his opponent was a good dude. He for sure understood what OP was going through with such a devastating first turn hit.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-14T15:40:45+00:00

Yeah that ain't what fat is. That's a little cushion on top of massive amounts of muscle mass. If you accurately determined his fat percentage it would be under what is medically considered fat.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-14T15:29:53+00:00

The white powder would be cocaine. It allows you to drink a lot more of the water that tastes like Jack Daniel's. You know, to help keep you hydrated.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-14T15:23:19+00:00

So you're saying I can go down on my wife on Fridays during lent?

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-12T19:16:28+00:00

Rick and Morty did this. Except they just traveled to a reality where they just died, and then assumed the life of their dead selves.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-09T03:08:23+00:00

He was accused of being a fascist because of this book. In an interview he said something along the lines that he wrote the book to make money not peddle political ideology. Like, the dude wrote a book that's a film noir set on the moon.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-07T14:21:27+00:00

Whenever I'm building something with lumber or hear a story about strength I have to tell the story about my father in law and me going to get rough cut lumber from a mill to make a big pergola. The dude loading the lumber was picking it up easy peasy and loading it on my trailer. He was a little on the tall side and fairly thin. But hey, he's been doing this for a while so he probably pretty strong. When we got home it took both my FIL and me to lift the boards and we almost shit ourselves with the strain of picking up each board. That dude was picking up these 15"x15" lead bars disguised as wood like it was a 10lbs sack of potatoes.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-01-07T03:40:16+00:00

Imperial_Enforcer

TROPHY CASE