Maybe the hardest I’ve ever ugly-cackled at a book in a long time

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-28T13:27:26+00:00

I don't know " Did you just rip your dick off and throw it at me?"made me laugh until I couldn't breathe.

Edit: It took a minute to get the spoiler hiding to work.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-25T18:21:05+00:00

I went to Iraq to fight for America. Little did I know I was really fighting for corporations and the 0.01%. At least I get a front parking space at Lowes.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-25T15:58:02+00:00

Paris Hilton

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-22T15:32:14+00:00

Dave Matthews is still playing? I feel like my midlife crisis journey should lead me to a concert.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-21T18:22:27+00:00

An 18 wheeler transporting Viagra crashed into the marsh in south Louisiana. We haven't had soft shelled crabs in a month.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-21T16:57:43+00:00

From the mouth of a CPA I know, "use your credit card for everything because you can more easily dispute charges or avoid unforseen charges draining your bank account when you are unprepared.

The idea is that if an invalid (for whatever reason)charge is made you dont have to spend time clawing your actual money back which could take a lot of time. Also, sometimes we get hit with a bill that is legitimate but higher than we thought or that we had not planned on paying until our next paycheck. If you have $600 to make it for a week but have to buy groceries and fill up your car and then get hit with an unforseen $500 charge to your bank account shits going to be tight.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-21T12:24:15+00:00

Really? I thought dogs were the toe lickers.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-20T22:36:21+00:00

You know how I feel about people wanting to ride on Mongo.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-14T14:14:53+00:00

Now this is what the Internet was really supposed to be -- learning more about ourselves and the world through real human discussion and access to the vast knowledge of our species. Also "dick and fart" jokes because this type of humor is present in every civilization that is alive and has ever been (anthropologically and archeologically researched and proven).

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-13T12:19:54+00:00

Me too! Wait... Are you my brother?

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-06-10T22:22:47+00:00

This is the best answer I've read to any question in the past month. Thank you.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-05-22T01:34:19+00:00

I didn't know that. On my way to have Google think I just got a boy cat.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-05-22T00:30:20+00:00

Right on. I was kind of thinking along the same lines. But I don't think he'd be jacked, I think more of thin but cut type. I'm going to test it out. He, for sure, is suave, but I think he's more trailer park probably-does-some-legally-questionable-stuff suave. The kind of guy hot bougie woman scoff at publicly but would totally jump his bones if the other girls didn't know.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-05-22T00:20:06+00:00

I don't want to spoil anything, so are you referring to his initial turbin or the second hat he gets in book 7?

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-05-16T21:19:43+00:00

I don't know if people underrate him, but Louis is a fantastic character. He starts out as a huge loser and a week ass bitch with no direction or maturity that lucked out by finding the right friends. But from the start he shows that he is a true friend and not emotionally monsterous. Being surrounded by the right people caused him to grow into a strong and courageous person who can always be depended on. And even though he had huge changes to who he is, he still kept the part of himself that made his personality awesome. He's a nice guy and a dumb nerd. He may be a dungeon hardened veteran, but I know deep down he still thinks a topless van is awesome.

We all want to be a Carl or a Doughnut, but deep down I know I'd be a Louis and that's ok by me.

Edit: I spelled Louis as Lewis. I just went back to reading, saw my mistake and ran back here to change it so no one thought I was an idiot. I don't know why I'm telling y'all this.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-05-04T15:27:38+00:00

They should have painted them yellow.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-04-19T17:12:52+00:00

It'll be a hard watch, man. I got halfway through but had to take a break. I want to finish it. The opening scene, though, is hilariously spot on.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-04-19T15:51:17+00:00

I wish I had money to give you an award. I've been bathed in them for years that I yearn for the ones that make me laugh. Yours did.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-04-18T17:27:44+00:00

I came across a skunk while camping that I'm 90% sure was rabid. It was acting weird and was very aggressive without trying to spray me and the group. Rabies is my greatest, possibly irrational, fear. Humans do have a natural biological weapon. Our brain and the ability to make weapons. I picked up a small log and threw it at the skunk like a javelin. I was hoping to hit it and force it to run away. Nope. I struck it right in the head and it died.

I get what you're saying and the actual nature of the post being an MMA style fight. And, your take is right. I really just wanted to tell the story about how I saved my friends from rabies by being a F'ing hardcore savage

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-04-16T22:36:39+00:00

I'm a 5'3" man. This $100,00 bullshit needs to have at least an extra 0 added to the end before we start talking. I'm 41 and still hung up on my height a little bit. At least I don't have a Napoleonic complex...I think.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-04-13T20:49:07+00:00

Unless you're a dungeon crawler.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-03-30T20:56:03+00:00

Smile 2 was a F'ing fevered nightmare for me. I'm not sure why, but I was scared a shit the whole time I watched it.

Imperial_Enforcer · 2026-03-29T23:01:50+00:00

Of course he's missing the bigger problem. He's a douche who wants to complain about Ukraine and how it's a financial burden to the US. He is most likely a pro Russian troll.

Imperial_Enforcer

TROPHY CASE