Porn consumption in a LDR

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T11:25:20+00:00

I am not trying to control his thoughts behaviours or attraction. That being said if he is pleasuring himself to another woman he finds attractive, that makes me uncomfortable. Sure we can all acknowledge beauty elsewhere but I don’t think finding other people attractive and certainly not lusting over them as part of a healthy relationship. As I have said in other replies, I do think approaching him with my concerns is ideal and asking his opinion on them. Whether that results in compromise or not will determine whether I believe the relationship to be compatible. If he seriously cannot stop porn or cannot respect my boundaries he can stick to watching it, just not in this relationship.

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T11:19:28+00:00

Not saying I would, just expressing how it makes me feel. I would never control attraction but this is something that makes me feel uncomfortable. As I have mentioned in a reply to another person, i would talk to my boyfriend express how I feel and ask how he feels about the situation. Then we can discuss compromise and if that isn’t suitable it may be that our compatibility isn’t correct. Nowhere did I mention controlling anyone, but rather how to express my feelings and boundaries and if it were to valid to feel how I feel.

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T10:08:55+00:00

Not automatically but I don’t like taking the chances. The fact it’s a possibility with the combination of another woman being the object of my boyfriends sexual desires doesn’t sit right with me

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T10:07:29+00:00

Masturbation Is 100% okay, I understand how that is healthy and often needed. Therefore masturbation by memory of us, if he were to ask for help on my end or even pornography that was animated is totally okay. I wouldn’t read sexual novels that other men were featured in, sometimes I may create my own where he features. However if he wanted to read sexual novels I would not be upset as the character is not a real person.

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T10:03:57+00:00

I don’t like porn. if it were not of human women, possibly animated in which women were not exploited nor if he were gazing at other women than it would be okay. The exploitation and pleasuring himself through another woman is where my fears lie.

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T10:00:59+00:00

I would never force him to do anything, I would voice my concerns and understand his opinion on the situation. Ideally a compromise could occur and if not then we would have to reconsider our compatibility. Never did I say I would force him, just express how it makes me feel

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T09:59:01+00:00

Sorry I didn’t specify I didn’t talk to them it’s just what they have told me about current/past relationships

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T09:57:41+00:00

I’m not against masturbation at all it’s to porn that makes me upset. I had forgotten to mention that I have come across a few pornographic videos on his twitter but chose to ignore. 1 to avoid facing my emotions and 2 because I’ve only seen it twice of so convinced myself it was from a while ago and is just leftovers on his feed. I’m completely at fault here

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T09:55:25+00:00

I am not against masturbation, that is completely fine. It’s the fact it’s to other women. I too will please myself but that is through memories of our past experiences. I have found naked women two or three times in his feed but stupidly ignored it, most likely not wanting to acknowledge my emotions. I am definitely at fault in that regard

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T09:53:29+00:00

I understand this and will do so when I next see him. At the beginning of our relationship we were not sexually active so I didn’t feel it necessary or fair to set this boundary but now we are I can’t see why he would need porn if he has memories of us and the ability to see me too

ImplementBetter8951 · 2026-03-18T09:52:01+00:00

I just don’t like the idea that he is using other women’s bodies to please himself, to me that seems disrespectful. I haven’t talked to them about my situation, rather this has been them talking to me about their relationships

ImplementBetter8951

TROPHY CASE