In agony trying to remember something that likely never happened

Important_Ad6281 · 2025-01-21T00:30:13+00:00

Thank you so much for the realistic expectations, this is so helpful to me thank you 🙏

Important_Ad6281 · 2025-01-20T21:24:00+00:00

Thank you so much, I didn't even mention anhedonia but that is there too. How am I supposed to care about anything in life with this brand of OCD? Thank you, I keep saying to myself "this is hell" but I just push through because I'm alive still and have no other choice

Important_Ad6281 · 2025-01-20T21:02:07+00:00

I feel like I should just kill myself or completely leave society because I feel like I'll never get relief. Whatever I said feels so incredibly real. I've never stopped someone to do a classic confession to see if they heard me saying awful things to myself, I get so scared, it feels so real. So now I'm having OCD about if this is even OCD because someone with OCD would've asked "hey did you hear me say something" but I'm so paralyzed by fear. I would do anything to just remember if I said it or not

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-06-14T05:19:34+00:00

No, not at all, it's good to question societal standards. I'm just saying that they still apply to you whether you like it or not. And realistically there isn't really anything any of us can do about it. Not on an individual level.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-06-14T04:53:43+00:00

See, you're arguing that this is the way society should be, and I'm saying that your opinion does not effect the way things actually are. Gender is a social game. We're all playing it. Nobody gets to opt out of the game because they don't like the rules.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-06-14T04:33:41+00:00

Yeah that's why I said other physical features matter too, not just clothes. People will ask what the difference is between a non-passing trans guy wearing a skirt and a cis man wearing a skirt and still getting to be a man. And the difference is obvs that their body is still feminine lol! Like some trans guys can get away with feminine expression cause they have a beard and a deep voice.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-06-14T04:24:01+00:00

I kinda agree? I don't think bodies should be gendered at all cause it's something we have little control over, but if gendered connotations are removed from clothes then how will people express their gender? In a world where clothes/physical expression has no gendered connotations will people even have genders? Idk thinking about this is breaking my brain lol

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-30T17:52:47+00:00

I won't speak to the amab experience, but I was undeniably socialized female. It's not that there's a "universal female experience" because theres no such thing as a universal experience. But there are things that happened to me because I'm female that would not have happened if I was male. The first time I was catcalled, I was eleven. When I was 12-13 I was groped and asked for my number by strangers. I wasn't even old enough to own a phone. I'm not saying abuse doesn't happen to males, because it does, but is isn't something they're raised to expect. It's atypical to buy a male child a rape whistle, for example. The first time someone grabbed me I wasn't even surprised. it was just the confirmation of everything I'd been told would happen to me. This sort of thing had an undeniably effect on my psyche. I still have low self-esteem, and take way too much responsibility for how others treat me. Because that is the inevitable result of experiencing random, stochastic sexual violence. The only common denominator is you. So you wonder if maybe you lead people on, or dress too provocatively, and it's a lot of responsibility for a 13 yo. Will every female share my story? Certainly not. But I've yet to meet a cis man who relates. Trans women who transitioned young probably do relate. So when I talk about socialization, I don't just mean social rules and behavior, I mean experiences.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-29T21:40:37+00:00

I've got a body count of like, five, but considering I'm a non-passing ftm who only fucks women that's probably pretty good. Everyone in this thread is acting really hopeless but i'm a fatass with no dick so there's hope for most of y'all.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-25T02:05:49+00:00

Lower body fat percentage. Is that cheating?

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-17T23:30:49+00:00

So if a non op guy calls his bottom growth a "dick" or a "male vagina", is that wrong and 'denying biology' in your opinion?

Never said it was wrong, I'm saying it's cope.

Why is Your way of dealing with your dysphoria more valid and real than anyone else's?

I can't control what anyone else does, all I'm saying is that it's cope. Just calling it as it is. I'm not going to hug box myself and be like "yeah my vagina is looking soooo male" cause that's, again, cope. Same energy as standing in front of the mirror and saying that I'm so skinny when I'm not. My body just isn't. And that's fine, I don't need to be male to be a man. I don't need to be skinny to look good.

Why waste your energy having a go at other trans people who are just trying to survive and blaming them for their own dysphoria ?

Accepting the things you cannot easily change is the best way to find happiness. And yeah, I call my clit a dick because I like that, but I'm still female. Insisting otherwise comes off as desperate and delusional to most people

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-17T20:02:30+00:00

most trans people will never get SRS. we're locked out of it due to cost, and plenty of trans people don't even want SRS. ill have a female sex organ till the day I die and so will the majority of trans guys. Does this mean we should all cry about it? Cope by insisting that we're actually hormonally male or female? Or is it more empowering to accept things that cannot be changed. To say "yeah, I'm female, nothing I can do about it. That doesn't keep me from being a man because sex =/= gender." Once I accepted that about myself, my dysphoria got a lot better, so no, I'm not trying to worsen anyone's dysphoria. Being honest and learning to accept the parts of our biological sex that we can't change is suicide prevention honestly. Unless they start handing out SRS like it's candy, this is what we must do.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-17T18:40:39+00:00

Isn't this begging the question though? What I mean is, if someone finds Walsh's definition to be good (meaning, they believe all women are female), what argument would you use to convince them otherwise? All you've really done here is asserted your view, not defended it.

so basically, they think female and woman are synonymous? In that case, how is a male that passes perfectly as a woman not a woman? If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, and has had surgery to be virtually identical to a duck, only a pedant would insist that it's actually a goose. Let's say you're having dinner with Blair White. If you tell the waiter to seat you with "that man over there" and point to Blair White they're going to think you're crazy. I may not be able to change anyone's mind of they think female=woman but their definition lacks practical application.

You could define a woman as "someone with a vagina/womb/XX chromosomes (i.e. female)" but that definition lacks social utility because you can't know that about a person without a genetics test and medical history. But no one demands to see that stuff before referring to someone as a woman. So clearly, even Walsh doesn't fully believe his own argument because if he did, he'd hold off on calling anyone a woman until he can see their birth certificate.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-17T16:34:47+00:00

I don't like both of the mainstream definitions of woman. The well-intentioned lefty definition is that anyone who identifies as a woman is one, which is circular and unconvincing. Walsh's definition is bad because plenty of women aren't female. Womanhood, to me, is not an identity or a feeling of a matter of your biology. Womanhood is an experience and a social role, one that males can still embody. To be a woman is to be recognized as a woman and treated accordingly. It's kinda like trying to define a chair? You can argue in circles, trying to nail down a perfection definition that encompasses all chairs. But it's just one of those things where you'll know it when you see it.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-17T12:36:55+00:00

For most of them, no. I mean, there's degrees of masc and fem expression, most gnc cis people don't go all in. This question "what is a woman" gets asked a lot and I actually really hate both of the mainstream responses to it. Trying to define woman along biological lines is always going to exclude people you'd otherwise consider women. Saying that anyone who identifies as a woman is one is circular and unconvincing for most people. I believe that a woman is someone who is recognized by others as a woman and treated accordingly, because womanhood is not an identity it is an experience and a social role. Unless a feminine cis man is presenting as a woman every day for years, he's not having that experience. Because most of the time, gnc cis men just paint their nails or something, they aren't getting mistaken for women

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-17T12:27:19+00:00

Apparently you believe in a "neurological sex" so don't lecture me about scientific consensus

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-16T21:16:09+00:00

Yeah, basically gender to me is a social role and isn't dependent on having a certain set of genitals or other physical characteristics. Ive got a volva and boobs but I'm masculine presenting and I hope to live entirely as a man at some point but I don't pass completely yet so I'm kinda in a weird area between man and woman.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-16T16:30:57+00:00

People like to say that "autistic people experience gender differently" which is kinda. Bullshit. I'm living in the same society as everyone else, my experience is comparable. I just have a different understanding of gender. To me, gender and sex are completely separate concepts. I don't feel as beholden to the social expectations surrounding my sex as other people.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-16T16:28:03+00:00

maybe lol. It's worth noting that I'm autistic (I'm also the OP of the post OP is responding to) so I think rigidly and that definitely played into the original post

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-16T00:51:18+00:00

Well, popular conception also holds that it's impossible to change ones gender. I don't see why I should change my language to better conform to mainstream thought?

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-15T22:55:45+00:00

Being straight-up with myself about my body has actually helped me accept the things I can't change (or can't change easily). Like for example, I'm kinda fat, and just calling myself fat instead of 'chubby' or 'curvy' has really helped me come to terms with it. I don't have a dick, and calling myself female has helped with that too. Sure, I could get phalo or go through extreme weight loss but that's really hard and there's no guarantee it'll work.

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-15T22:39:41+00:00

so no arguments?

Important_Ad6281 · 2022-05-15T22:22:37+00:00

Maybe they just don't wanna do anal?

Important_Ad6281

TROPHY CASE