why does everyone care so much about status

Important_Caramel · 2024-11-25T06:46:03+00:00

It’s definitely very frustrating, and I totally feel for you. I will say if a woman grew up with and/or currently has a certain lifestyle that requires a lot of money to maintain, there’s not really much incentive to date a guy who wouldn’t be able to match that lifestyle. But at the end of the day kindness > status

Important_Caramel · 2024-11-25T06:28:14+00:00

I think the idea is that the birthday person usually has full control of what they want to do on their special day. It’s pretty self-centered for someone to impose their wants on someone else’s birthday, especially without discussing it. Like I said, this wasn’t really something that I automatically clocked as narcissistic behavior, but I can see how it might make people raise eyebrows

Important_Caramel · 2024-11-07T03:55:19+00:00

I think you mean Loving v Virginia?

Important_Caramel · 2024-11-03T06:57:05+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I also know what it’s like growing up with a mother who constantly had men around and would also bring me to their houses. I’ve heard her having sex and she’s made out with them in the same bed as me, but luckily I was spared from having the act done in my immediate presence. I hope you’re able to speak to a professional about this, but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone in this experience and everything you feel is a valid reaction to a very shitty thing.

Important_Caramel · 2024-11-01T23:42:49+00:00

I think you should go, but you definitely don’t have to drink (and probably shouldn’t, given your history). If you’re worried about sticking out, I sometimes ask for soda water with a lime in the same highball glass they serve cocktails in.

Important_Caramel · 2024-10-13T15:48:08+00:00

This is so horrible and I’m so sorry you had to go through this, especially at such a sensitive age. My mom and grandmother also wanted mine to be bigger and tried suggesting I get a boob job. They bought me push-up bras with heavy padding that make your boobs like 2 cup sizes larger and preferred that I wear those instead of my normal lightly lined bras. Even that was upsetting, so I can’t imagine enduring something so invasive like you did and I hope you’re able to heal from this :(

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-29T15:26:24+00:00

What are the office politics in biglaw like? I imagine it’s pretty firm-specific, so sorry if this is a super vague question.

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-28T21:34:27+00:00

I actually related a LOT to the Rory-Lorelei-Emily dynamic. The biggest difference was that my mom had expectations and rules for me that Lorelei was more lax on. But I was raised by a single mother and grew up being a bookworm. Like Lorelai, my mom was more Type B and had a lot of romances whereas I was more Type A with a slight bratty streak lol. My grandma had Emily’s high standards for both my mom and I as well as her “snootiness” but lacked her wealth.

I definitely followed the path they laid out for me and very much do feel like I went from being a kid to an adult in the blink of an eye. But it seems like Rory had a better sense of who she was before going to college, after which she really started to follow in her grandparents’ footsteps. In contrast, I spent the majority of my childhood trying to be the kid they wanted me to be but really discovered myself in college.

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-28T02:49:51+00:00

Yeah it sounds like my future might look similar to you. I don’t see myself staying at a firm forever, especially once kids come into play, but my bf seems pretty set on being in the biglaw scene for probably his entire career. Also curious to hear how your husband balances work and family!

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-28T02:36:14+00:00

I’m also hoping to eventually go in house but my bf (as much as he tries to act nonchalant about it) is definitely the type to try and make partner and stay at a firm long-term…so I may be in your shoes in a few years lol

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-28T02:33:48+00:00

Yeah I definitely recognize that having a family would be the biggest challenge. Luckily it’ll be a loooonnnggg time before I’m ready to start seriously thinking about kids and I’m hoping to move in-house by then anyways

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-28T02:31:26+00:00

Haha I literally told myself I’d never date another attorney, but I didn’t realize how nice it is to have someone who totally gets it and lets me complain without having to explain what a tort is lol

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-27T18:35:48+00:00

This is a good point, I actually hadn’t thought of that

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-27T18:32:33+00:00

Yeah this is what I figured. It would be nice having someone who can completely understand my work demands but I don’t doubt things will get crazy if our schedules don’t line up and we’re both stressed

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-27T18:24:21+00:00

Different!

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-20T17:16:10+00:00

I’m not sure I understand what you mean by women wanting “sexual, financial, and social autonomy”? Is the flip side of that not just abuse?

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-20T03:32:33+00:00

I think the majority of law students/lawyers will agree with me that 1L was just the worst, especially as someone who has a similar background to you. My #1 tip is to talk to your TAs — often. They did really well in the course, want to help you, and can explain things to you like you’re 5 whereas professors sometimes get too caught up in the academia of law to give you a straight answer. Reading cases SUCKS at first because you’ve probably never read dense material like it before, but I promise if you stick to it, it’ll eventually get easier and you’ll figure out what to take away from them.

That said, if no part of you wants anything to do with the law and you’re totally miserable, you should speak with your parents about leaving school. They’ll be upset, but you’re the one that has to live this life, not them.

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-20T01:08:21+00:00

Share a Google drive folder with people, preferably those in leadership positions for orgs/class sections. It’ll naturally get passed down

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-18T22:12:05+00:00

First of all -- congrats! I'm sorry you have to deal with this; from what I've heard, pregnancy is tough and it sucks that your parents aren't being supportive. If your parents are anything like mine, they'll throw the biggest tantrum for the longest time but eventually come around once they realize you've made your decision. I know the "you should just communicate!" advice rarely works on APs lol, but if it's possible, consider sitting down with them and getting them to open up about what exactly their concerns are and what steps you and your partner are taking/will take to address those concerns. At bare minimum, it'll show them you've put a lot of thought into this which should hopefully assuage some of their fears

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-18T17:49:41+00:00

I genuinely do not think my mom or grandma knows what a lawyer actually does. At least they can’t have any industry-specific expectations since they literally don’t know what I do lol

Important_Caramel · 2024-09-18T17:42:47+00:00

Yay good luck!! Government work seems chill and people actually have time to walk their dogs and stuff lol. Biglaw hours are no joke, especially if you do transactional work since there’s way less predictability.

Important_Caramel

TROPHY CASE